Facebook vs Real Life, part 2

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Again, Facebook isn’t all bad.  It’s a convenient way to share pictures of loved ones if you don’t live in the same part of the country or the same country period.  Or, in my case, share my thoughts for whoever might be interested.  However, if we spend too much time on there it can easily lead to envy or just a general dissatisfaction with one’s current state in life.

We cannot escape the trap of comparing our entire lives with only the best of other’s lives.  As my principal at school used to encourage the teachers though, if you have a complaint about something, don’t come empty handed without a possible solution.

There are a few solutions I would like to offer that most likely no one reading this blog will take, but, what are you going to do, right?

First, limit your time on there.  There’s a pretty good chance (I’d say 90% or more) that the average person truly has no idea how much time they’re spending on Facebook.  There is a time tracker app I’ve used for a couple years called Rescue Time that is an easy way to get a feel for how much time you’re spending on Facebook or any other thing on your phone, tablet and laptop.  Easy to install and easy to use, both things I like.

After you see how much time you spend on there in an average week, set a goal to lower that time.  Or perhaps be more aware of how much time you’re spending scrolling vs connecting through writing actual messages through messenger.

Second, and I would really love for someone to develop this, I’d like there to be an app or website similar to pinterest fails.  Something like ‘Facebook vs Real Life’ with the pictures someone posts on Facebook alongside either a short bio of what really happened or pictures of the ‘not so photographic’ parts of the moment.  I have no idea how to even so much as write html code but I would imagine there could be a decent return on investment if someone were to make this.  At the very least it would provide a lot of us with a good chuckle.

Third, and the most radical of all, stop using Facebook.  The article suggests giving it up for even just a week.  Might be a good challenge to accept.  Maybe even just give up the home feed part and keep the Messenger app.  See if you notice anything different about yourself.  Do you go in a withdrawal state?  Do you connect with people in real life better?  Are you less envious or even just less dissatisfied or slightly depressed?  Just something to consider.

Facebook Vs. Real Life

Less than 3 min read

After reading the above study, I am more convinced than ever before that the costs of Facebook outweigh the benefits.  

Several years ago, a friend of mine informed me that he and his wife were getting off Facebook after their wedding day.  When I asked why he replied he had seen where many people were attributing Facebook as a factor in their divorce.  

How could that possibly be?  Well, if you think about it, people display only the best sides of their lives on there.  You can hide behind a screen and seem like an amazing person.  Meanwhile, the spouse you live with day in and day out and see all of their personalities and habits, both good and bad, can start to seem rather less than what might be with this other person.  

It’s the same reason I gave up my own account and combined it with Stef’s.  As a side note, Facebook does NOT want you to combine accounts.  Apparently individuality has a superior place for Facebook than people who think ‘two become one’ is a valid way to view marriage.

Another friend gave me some advice before we left for the field that those who spend the most time on social media are the ones who come home the soonest.  Again, it makes perfect sense.  You’re having a hard time adjusting to your new culture while the rest of your family is having together time on your favorite holiday(s) to spend with others.  Not to mention all those pictures of friends whose children look adorable, sans the temper tantrum they might very well have thrown that same day, naturally.

It’s perfectly normal to only want to display the awesome side of our lives and not the nitty gritty and difficulty of the daily grind.  The question is whether or not that’s a healthy habit to cultivate.

As my mom says about most things, moderation is key.  Facebook is a wonderful means of communication with others.  Messenger is a preferred means of contacting someone for quite a few people.  I once told a friend there were a million ways to contact someone nowadays and everyone has their preferred method.  

However, as the article above states, envy is an all too frequent byproduct of scrolling mindlessly through other’s feeds.  We may lie to ourselves and say it doesn’t affect us, but I dare say if we truly examine our hearts we may come to a different conclusion.

Add to that the fact many people argue with each other and say things they would never dream of saying to their faces in real life.  Throw in a large dose of fake news from whatever political side of the aisle you want and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.