Jesus and Jabez

Yesterday, I was reading in 1 Chronicles (I'm reading through the Bible this year, a really good habit to get into btw  :) ) and came across the infamous prayer of Jabez.  I say infamous but want to narrow that down perhaps to famous within American Christianity.  There was a book back in the late 90's/early 00's entitled "The Prayer of Jabez" that took off like a rocket within the Christian subculture.

1 Chronicles 4:10 states the following, "Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, 'Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory!  Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.'  And God granted his request."

Now, if you know anything at all about America, you know why this book took off from the start.  Enlarge my territory, bless me, keep me from pain; keep me healthy, wealthy and blessed.  It ocurred to me as I was reading that Jesus essentially lived the opposite of Jabez's prayer.  Allow me to explain.

Enlarge my territory??  Jesus had all the territory He could ask for in heaven.  Instead, he gave it all up and moved into the neighborhood as the Message paraphrases it.  Other verses He talks about how He doesn't have a place to rest His head.  Other books talk about how He emptied Himself.  Can you imagine having the glories and territory of heaven and giving it all up to save humankind?  One of those things I will never understand about God.  

Jesus was the ultimate in downward mobility!  In the Lord's prayer He asks for God's kingdom to come on earth as it is in heaven.  I think Jabez's prayer was innocent like a lot of our's.  The problem comes when we become more concerned about our own kingdoms rather than about God's kingdom.

Keep me from harm that I will be free from pain?  Well, I would say Jesus actually did pray that same prayer, save for one very important distinction.  In the garden Jesus prayed something along the lines of, "If it is possible, take this cup from me.  Yet not what I will, but your's."  He asked for the cup to be taken from Him if it was possible.  

He added something though that was hugely important at the end, a caveat of sorts. Not my will but Your's be done.  I have tried to pray that prayer before but it's a really daring and courageous prayer and one I struggle with due to my own selfishness.  I want things to turn out the way I hope they do; it is vital though to add, "not my will, but Your's, Lord" to the end of many of our prayers.

A few months ago I was laughing with a friend that I really wished I had participated in the Prayer of Jabez movement all those years ago.  I instead tried to pluck another prayer from Scripture that resonated with me on a very deep level.  Proverbs 30:8,9 say something like, "Give me neither poverty nor riches."  The idea of just having enough; I think he may even refer to daily bread there too.

In the sermon on the mount, Jesus says blessed are the poor in spirit.  One preacher said that's translated as blessed are the destitute is a more accurate picture.  We tend to think the opposite of blessing.  We have a Jabez mindset instead of a Jesus mindset.  Bless me and enlarge my territory rather than bless Your Name, and pick up your cross and follow me.

This next month I'm reading through the gospels again, the gospels in 30 days.  It's basically 3 chapters a day.  I'd encourage you to do the same.  The problem is the gospels are terrifying.  We try and explain away the tough sayings of Jesus but He calls us to such a high standard.  

What if when people asked us about how to handle money we sent them to the teachings of Jesus?  Jesus had a lot to say about money; most of it wasn't positive for rich people.  We are quick to dismiss a lot of His teachings and essentially say that He didn't really mean it would be difficult for rich people to enter the kingdom of heaven.  That should terrify a lot of western Christians in my opinion, including myself.

I know we need to take all of Scripture into account and I totally agree, but I do think we need to place special emphasis on the teachings of Jesus since He's what the whole Bible points to throughout, right?

Changing My Expectations

Recently, I’ve had to change my expectations in a couple of different areas of my life.  One being what I thought missionary life was going to be like; and the other being what I thought about marriage.  Allow me to break down what my expectations were and how I’ve had to adjust them for you if you’ll indulge me for a little while.

As far as missionary life, I thought it was going to be an extended summer trip.  Basically, I thought I would be on a high for 6 months so I was really looking forward to that.  Apparently, God had other plans.  Little did I know life overseas would be this difficult.  There have been times of loneliness and much frustration at not understanding what anyone is saying.

Part of the reason for these expectations is that I look at the past with rose-tinted glasses, as I’m sure many others do.  Sometimes we long for what once was, without acknowledging that every season has its triumphs and troubles.  I can look back on previous summers and think that I had a wonderful time without any trouble.  If I force myself to try and remember a little more clearly though, I can pull up some difficult times from every summer. 

I’m starting to realize that every season is usually a combination of good and bad, not one or the other.  While I’m well aware that life often feels like a roller coaster, I would also say there are often more than a couple feelings going on within each of us as we go through each day.  Balance can elude even the best of us, much more those who struggle with a mood disorder.

What I’m learning is to change my expectations for this apprenticeship.  While there will certainly be highs there will also be lows.  I must be ready for both sides of the coin.  I must learn to place my trust in Jesus as He takes me on this great adventure called life. 

In the beginning of this year my prayer was simply, “I do believe, help my unbelief.”  It wasn’t original by any stretch of the imagination; no, I got it directly from Scripture.  God answered that prayer and continues to do so.  When I am weak, then He is strong.

The second thing that I’ve had to change my expectations for is marriage.  In spite of friends and family always telling me marriage is very difficult, I’ve never really believed that.  I’m reading The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller and it’s teaching me just how difficult marriage will be and the why behind the difficulty.

This summer I’ve realized I’m a very selfish person with my time.  Many times I’d rather spend time alone than with others.  It’s a paradox, really.  On the one hand, I love being around people and usually am energized by doing so.  Simultaneously I like to spend a lot of my time alone.  Marriage will surely change this for me.  As my friend Ryan told me the other day, “You know she’s still going to be there after the wedding night, right?”

Marriage won’t be easy, but in the same breath I have a few ideas as to how we can get through the first year with a strong marriage.  One of those is just basic respect with each other and learning to fight fairly.  Since I’m 32, I’ve seen many couple friends who simply don’t respect each other, and this seems to be especially true during the first year of their marriages. 

I told Stef we need to promise one another that we will always be respectful toward each other and she agreed.  Hopefully that will give us a leg up on the difficulties of marriage that are inherent in that close of a relationship.  I sincerely look forward to marrying Stef, but I’m not looking forward to my selfishness being exposed like never before. 

If I know I’m selfish going into this marriage, how much more will it reveal itself in the confines of our relationship?  As with any character defect though, it is and will continue to be a learning process.  We will need to surely be quick to forgive as that seems to be a necessary ingredient to any healthy marriage.

The ups and downs of enculturation

If you're a reader of my blog on any consistent basis, you know that I have bipolar disorder.  This has been a struggle but also a blessing in many regards.  Admittedly, I don't always see it as a blessing, particularly when I'm in the throes of depression.  When I'm stable though, I can see it as a blessing that God has given me.  Many people may find that weird, but it's just how I've come to see it and cope with the illness.  I have met many people who struggle with the disorder and I know that it's not by accident.

Anyway, that's a bit of a long intro into my real topic for today's blog, enculturation.  Usually, every summer during my former teaching career, I'd go abroad.  I loved it; it was always for 2 months give or take a week.  I'd meet interesting people and learn about a new culture.  It was really intoxicating on a very deep and soulful level.  My principal asked me a few times when I was struggling with finding purpose in my role as an elementary teacher why I didn't just do it full time, meaning what I did in the summers.  I always gave the same answer, "There's no money in it."

Little did I know that I was meant to go into full time missions overseas.  Currently I'm serving a 6 month term in SE Asia.  What I've found is that after the initial 3 month term I served last summer, it's really difficult.  My fellow missionaries here assure me that it's perfectly natural to go through the ups and downs of enculturation.  They say it usually lasts for the first two years.  Add to that fact that I'm bipolar and mental stability is proving difficult to find.

A few weeks ago I was rather down, a couple of weeks ago was really good, and this past week was somewhere in between.  So, I'm struggling through.  This is exactly what I wanted to be doing, but that doesn't mean it comes without hardships.  I remember talking to a friend years ago about going into missions full time and saying something along the lines of, "I have no doubt it will be more difficult than my current position in life but I just really feel a strong pull to serve overseas."  Now that has certainly come true.  It is more difficult in a lot of ways, but as with anything that is difficult, it's worth it.

My fiance encouraged me that I needed to change my expectations for serving overseas.  She's right, isn't she?  Not everything is going to be awesome, there will be many difficulties and challenges.  She essentially told me to put my big boy pants on and suck it up, and I love her for that.  I need someone that can get in my face when I need it, even when it's from halfway around the world in West Africa.

Prayers are always appreciated, and I often rely on the prayers of family and friends back home to keep going.  I will write another update probably around the first week of July with what I've been up to here.  If you want to be added to my email list let me know and I'll be sure to include you in my next update.