A Father's Responsibilities

Today is Father's Day in the Dominican Republic.  It was wonderful to be there and worship in Spanish.  I also really enjoyed the message in spite of not understanding it all.

The pastor talked about a father's responsibilities.  Some he mentioned were taking care and providing for your family.  He also talked about how fathers are responsible for the home environment, meaning how things are within the home.  Is it an environment of mutual respect between all members?  Does every member feel loved and appreciated?  Is it a negative environment?

That last one cut me to the core.  Lately I've caught myself being negative towards Stef.   It spills over from my negativity towards myself.  It's been a long battle and one in which I'm still learning to submit my thoughts to God. 

One of my spiritual gifts is encouragement, now I just need to delete the negativity in my life.  That's the last thing I want to promote in my family.  I want my family to thrive, and part of that is making sure it's a culture of encouragement where each member feels free to be themselves without having to worry about being criticized.

I pray as a father that I learn to better imitate my heavenly father in the day to day.  From showing my wife and child love and encouragement to encouraging them and building them up, may I allow the Father to shape me as a father.

Mini Habits for Weight Loss

Just finished a great book titled Mini Habits for Weight Loss by Stephen Guise and would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a different take on weight loss.  I found it to be of great benefit and am already trying some of the things suggested in it.

He talks about the 3 macro nutrients of proteins, fats and carbs and how we used to demonize fats and now we demonize carbs.  According to him and several studies he cited though those aren't the problems.  Overly processed foods are where we're going wrong as a society and in other societies around the world that have followed in our fat footsteps.  There are good fats and bad fats and likewise with carbs.

Basically, if it comes in a package or a box, don't eat it.  Easier said than done, right?  That's where the strategy of mini habits come into play.  So often we go on these big diets and simply can't sustain them over the long haul.  It's because of our mindset.  There's a big difference between saying "I can't have something" versus "I don't eat something."  One is going to make you want to rebel and one is just part of your identity.

Almost all diets work in the short term but very few if any in the long term.  There's a very high rate of failure if you follow dieters over the long haul.  I'm a prime example.  My wife and I went on a weekday vegan diet last year and I lost a ton of weight only to regain it now that we're back home and eating meat again.

So now I'm trying this mini habit strategy.  The basic idea is to have a habit so small it's nearly impossible to fail even on a bad day.  Then when you have a good day you can do bonus reps for example.

My first mini habit is not eating past 7pm every night.  This helps me avoid snacking at night and gives my body a good 12 hours to digest and lower insulin.  Last night I ate at 8pm but didn't eat until 8am so I'm alright with it.  Maybe I should rephrase my mini habit as eating within a 12 hour window, not sure on that one.

I've also stopped drinking soda due to something I saw on YouTube and that this author mentions as well.  You want to try and eat mindfully.  Sounds new age I know but it works.  I drank a couple of sodas mindfully and all I could taste was the chemicals and think about what it was doing to my body.

This path will be slower than most but I think it will be better long term for my health rather than my weight yo yoing like it has in the past.

Befriending the "Other"

Why do we label each other and those we don't know?  We all do this, I think it helps us make sense of the world and is often done without malice intent whatsoever.  However, sometimes it can lead us to put up walls between ourselves and someone from the other group, no matter what that group may be.

We're often scared of who we don't know.  Part of that is because we were raised to be weary of strangers, which is a great thing for children.  Once we reach a certain age though we must fight against our comfort zones and reach out to the 'other', simply someone different than who we usually hang out with.

You hear these labels in the news like "illegal immigrant" and "asylum seeker" and you're made to think they're all just terrible if not dangerous people.  I dare say if you know someone who fits one of those labels though you feel quite differently.

It's often that way, isn't it?  Once we meet and reach out to someone who is in whichever group is different than our own, we realize we're not so different after all.  We realize they're not to be feared but rather embraced.

I would suggest that whatever culture you're in, if you're in the majority or the minority but seen as someone who has power and is in a better situation, the onus is on you to reach out to the 'other.'  Get out of your comfort zone and go where God has called you.  If you live in the states you don't have to travel far at all usually to befriend someone from another culture.  Do not live in fear of what others may say about another group of people.  Find out for yourself.