Life Interruptions

This fall has seen a lot of change in the Hemming household.  First we had a miscarriage, then our neighbors above us had a fire, then we found a new place to call home.  It's been a wild ride, but God has been by our sides through it all.

I'm beginning to think change is more regular than constancy.  We long for constancy, but God shows up more clearly in the interruptions of life.  These interruptions are often the last thing we want while simultaneously being the places God meets us.  Without them we get so self-absorbed we forget about the important things in life.  We get wrapped up in the day to day grind and forget to think about the bigger picture.

One of our preachers shared last weekend how if you take out the interruptions in Jesus' life you aren't left with too much of the Gospels.  I had never considered that but love the idea of it.  As to whether that sinks into my soul the next time I'm interrupted or if I get upset that my schedule is thrown off for a while remains to be seen.  If I looked at interruptions as opportunities to witness God at work that would leave me much better off and open to what God wants to do with my heart.

The fire has refined our faith.  God has showed off through the generosity of His people.  He has been so faithful.  Before the miscarriage and fire I remember praying for Him to strengthen my faith.  I specifically remember praying hesitantly because I knew there was one way to increase my faith, through difficult times.  While I don't believe God caused the miscarriage or fire, I do believe He used them to increase our faith.

Fire and Consequences

If you haven't read our Facebook posts or read our email newsletter, there apartment above us had a major fire about two and a half week's ago.  Our neighbor simply didn't put his cigarette out completely and as a result the entire apartment building is unlivable at the moment. 

It's an 8 apartment building.  8 families and couple's lives, completely upended.  Thankfully no one was hurt and that's what is most important as anyone will tell you.  After that is accounted for, there are still some major consequences for everyone involved. 

When you go through something like this, there are a multitude of reactions, and I imagine many people react several different ways.  I told someone last week I was fighting a victim mentality.  Technically we were victims, but a victim mentality never helps anyone. 

A major reaction of mine has been humility.  People have been incredibly generous to us in the aftermath of this.  God's clearly at work in our lives and we're reminded of His goodness even in the midst of these circumstances. 

Worship songs ring truer now.  At first my reaction was worship was difficult.  Perhaps it just looked differently in the form of a humble and contrite spirit rather than praising Him at that moment.  

My relationship with Christ has been strengthened through all this.  For that I'm incredibly grateful.  He is there on the mountaintop but He draws even nearer in our times of brokenness. 

Sharing in Spanish

Today was one of the first days in a long time I was able to share about God in Spanish.  I have before in the Dominican Republic of course, maybe I should specify it was one of the first times in a long while that I've almost cried while sharing about Christ in Spanish.

I was picking up pizza with our shop's manager, Robert.  He too has a young son, maybe 2 years old so slightly older than David.  What God has taught me the most about His character lately is how much He loves me as His own child.  It's hard to imagine that God loves me infinitely more than I love my son.  Furthermore He even delights in me.

Frequently I've been so hard on myself that I don't see the value that God places on me simply because I'm His child.  Spiritual myopia blinds me to what God Himself says about me.  

In the past, I've always viewed God as Judge.  He is Judge to be sure, just read Revelation if you don't believe that.  He judges everyone in the end.  Simultaneously, He takes great delight in us as His children.  We can find great rest in that truth.  

As we were waiting for our pizza I was describing all this to Robert who was pleased to hear it and in agreement.  Then I shared how I can't imagine God sacrificing His only Son on the cross and Robert reminded me of Abraham in the Old Testament as a precursor to Christ to show how faithful God is to his people.

I thank God that as I grow in my knowledge and use of Spanish I can use it to glorify Him more and to different people.  What a gift that is, to be able to share about His glory in 2 languages.  Now it's finally occurring to me why I needed to learn Spanish in the first place, to witness to those I wouldn't be able to witness to without it.  Of course God uses Spanish speaking people to minister to other Spanish speaking people.  But it's an honor to be called to this cross cultural work and work alongside local believers in order to encourage and equip the saints in my second language.

May you realize as you read this how much God loves and delights in you, simply because you are His child and He has chosen you to be adopted into His family.  What a great privilege it is to be called children of God, and that is what we are!  That's somewhere in one of the letters of John I believe and I can say that now as much as at any other time in my life.  Blessings be to Him who is able to do all things.

Weight Loss Advice (for myself :) )

I listened to a podcast this past week that talked about how when someone gives another person advice, it helps them know what to do themselves.  Most people already know what to do, they just don't do it.  It's a matter of cognitive dissonance according to the podcast, in Christian circles it's known as hypocrisy.  The idea is that when we verbalize to someone else what to do we want our own actions to live up to our advice.  With that in mind, here's my take on weight loss advice to help myself in the process.

There are a bunch of different theories on how to lose weight, some say to cut carbs completely like keto, others say to cut meat and meat products completely like vegan.  I've read several diet books this year and there are some common threads among each of them.  First, cut way down on sugar if not eliminate it completely.  To be clear, processed sugar.  Processed foods in general seem like a bad idea.  Beyond that the books have different advice, so that's probably where I should start, just cutting out processed sugar and processed foods in general.  I wonder how far I'd get if I just simply did that.

People swear by keto and vegan both, but they're basically opposites.  Keto is almost all meat, so much meat that you'll feel like it's coming out of your nostrils.  Vegan is no meat, which can make it hard to stay full if you're used to a lot of meat in your diet.  Fiber is the key to staying full on that diet, and a lot of veggies are full of the stuff.

Some basic guidelines I think are helpful...

Eat more veggies and fruits

Drink more water

Cut out soda or at least limit it way back

Cut out processed sugar and processed food in general or at least limit it way back

Cut way back on the consumption of greasy stuff like burgers and fries

Cut back on meat intake, you don't need nearly as much meat as we've been sold in the American diet marketing machine

What worked for me before was going part time vegan, basically vegan during the week and then allow some meat on the weekend to keep it manageable.  That obviously increased my veggie intake which was a great thing.  I also lost about 25 pounds quickly which was awesome and welcomed.

The problem with short term diets though is that it's easy to lose weight and much more difficult to keep it off.  Hence all the talk about 'lifestyle' as opposed to diets.  Really though, I think a lot of people who claim to have made a 'lifestyle change' have made it for less than a year typically.  I think the part time vegan (or perhaps even veggie so it's less strict) is doable over the long term.  I'll of course have to make allotments for when we visit others but for the most part I think it's largely sustainable.  It seems healthier than some of the low carb options like keto or Atkins.  I always wonder about heart health on those diets.

Food tracking is another commonality among a lot of diets so maybe I should try that too.  Seems like most people say you can track food until you have a pretty good idea of what kind of foods you're likely to eat and what their macros are.  I don't like counting calories or anything like that but maybe that's a good strategy over the short term anyway.

Anyway, it's time for me to make a change.  I've been fitter (although I don't look it since I have my sugar gut) than I have been in years from working out a lot more.  Now it's time to add the weight loss.  A friend once told me "Weight loss happens in the kitchen.  Fitness happens on the bike."  Obviously biking was his favorite form of fitness.  I love working out which is great, I know a lot of people hate it but I usually love it.  

Now the nutrition part is what I really need to change.  Thankfully I have a beautiful wife who makes amazing and healthy dishes, just time to give up the free sodas at work and the snacking.  Easier said than done.  Consistency is so important in all areas of life and what separates those who achieve their goals from those who don't.  Here's to the eternal optimist inside me who always thinks this time I'm going to be consistent.  Don't worry about the occasional falling off the wagon but rather assess if you're moving in the right direction on a regular basis.  You've got this.

Hopefully someone else will benefit from this blog entry too, who knows?  :)

Blessing Muslims

Earlier tonight we shared a meal with our Muslim friends and another of their friends from Turkey.  It was a wonderful meal but I'd like to focus on what happened beforehand.  We were saying 'Enjoy' and I was folding my hands unconsciously like I always do because I usually pray before meals.  Then they asked me to pray for the meal.

And so, I prayed a prayer of blessing over our friends.  It caught me off guard to be asked to pray by our new Muslim friends but perhaps it shouldn't have after they invited themselves to our church.  By the way, it hasn't worked out yet for them to come, so please keep praying about that.

Praying a blessing over our friends got me to thinking this is a much better way to engage our global neighbors than our current foreign policy.  What if we preemptively prayed and preemptively loved our neighbors near and far rather than started preemptive wars?  This most likely sounds idealistic to some but surely it's closer to the heart of the Gospel than a shock and awe campaign.

A wonderful meal followed my prayer and we are so grateful they invited us into their home.  We have learned before that Muslims are often known for wonderful hospitality, really a Middle Eastern cultural value regardless of religion.  It is humbling wherever you are when others share what they have with you and something we can all learn from.

We are beyond grateful God has put this couple in our path and we intend to simply be faithful friends as they get ready to have their first child in January.  When times come to share our faith we will obey as I did when I prayed tonight.  Most of the time we just want to be genuine friends that reflect the light and joy of His glory.  We want to be a blessing to our Muslim neighbors as well as any other neighbor.  I pray the same for you who are reading this, that you may be a blessing to anyone you call a neighbor.

Miscarriage and afterthoughts

Its been a while since I've written.  In the meantime we had a miscarriage which was fairly traumatic and which we both still feel the emotional effects of at times.

Life moves on of course, and with a little one you can't simply sit in your grief very long.  I'm so grateful for David, especially now.  Before I was head over heels about him but now there's a deeper sense of gratitude after the loss.

We go on walks in the morning and evening which I know I will always cherish.  He's already a fast little guy and loves running around the loop at our apartment complex park.

Delighting in my boy who brings me great joy makes me realize my Father in heaven sees me the same way, only infinitely more.  How can God delight in me that way?  All I see is my own sin, yet I'm hidden in Christ.  Christ's sacrifice covers and removes my sin so that I might draw near to Father God.

My hope is in Christ alone.  A miscarriage is a terrible way to be reminded of that fact.  We had hopes and dreams concerning our little one, yet ultimately we place our hope and grief in the only One who truly understands us.

Between Cultures

Traveling a week to the Dominican Republic affords me a certain perspective on culture I might not otherwise enjoy.  One country is developed and the other still developing.  One is the richest in the world and the other is not.

There is poverty in my home country too, it just looks different in a developing country as anyone who has seen both types of poverty can attest.  It may surprise some, but there are parts of Dominican culture that I prefer to the states.  For one, busyness doesn't seem to be worn as a badge of honor there like it is here.

GO ministries, the organization I work for, has a strong emphasis on mutual transformation.  This is usually in regards to individuals or churches.  I wonder what would happen if cultures dared to try something similar.

What could we learn from other cultures if we weren't so busy saying how we're the best country there ever was?  What would we have to offer if we served as peace makers and known as a culture that truly listened to others?

Every country has strengths and weaknesses to be sure.  I'd encourage anyone who is willing to get out there and explore some of the world beyond our nation's borders.  We might just learn something in the process.

A Full Heart

I'm about to board a flight back from the DR right now.  Do you ever have those moments where your heart is so full all you can do is say, "Thanks God!"  I'm having one of those right now.

Every time I come down here I feel more at peace.  I'm excited to see people I know and who know me. 

This time I was extra spoiled by seeing one of my best friends down here.  Ryan recruited me to GO and it was great reconnecting with him.  He was leading an exploratory trip for those interested in partnering with a church planter down here.

I spent a total of 1 day with them and had a great time meeting them.  They were genuinely curious and wanted to know more about the work local church planters are doing on the island.  I had wonderful conversations with one in particular who said he'd be willing to let me bounce ideas off him since he used to work at a bank in Florida.

I met once again with Julio, who is fast becoming my best Dominican friend.  They invited me to dinner and I gladly accepted.  We all laughed hard when she said she was going to make tacos but was tired so she ordered a pizza instead.  Anyone else relate to that?  :)

I prayed for dinner and for their family and then Julio prayed for my family before I left.   It was such a special blessing for me.  He also busted out his guitar and he and his wife sang a worship song.  I closed my eyes and tried to take a mental snapshot like a friend once taught me.

I met with several people who want to start businesses and we discussed next steps.  This job is what I was made for.  I couldn't be more excited to do what I'm doing.  I'm so grateful to be living my dream job.  There are of course parts I don't particularly like as there are with any job.  But the privilege of doing exactly what I was put on this earth to do is truly an honor.

A Father's Heart

Recently I've been thinking about God as Father more on a regular basis.  It's hard to imagine He's even more over the moon about me and my son than I am about my son.  He is though, infinitely more.  Sometimes it's easy to forget that He's for us.  He wanted us enough He was willing to send His Son to die for us.  And if He is for us, who can be against us?

Could I give up my son like God the Father did?  Definitely not.  I wouldn't be willing to sacrifice my son for anyone I don't think.  Perhaps that makes me an immature believer but other than Abraham there aren't a lot of examples of people willing to do that outside of God Himself.  

I long for my son to know the love of the Savior like I do.  I want him to search after Him with all his heart when he's older and understands more.  Stef and I are both crazy about our kid, but we know he's only on loan to us for a little while from the Father.  Then, God willing, he'll move out and grow some wings of his own one day.

For now though I'll cherish the times when I rock him to sleep and think about how God wants me to crawl up in His lap and be completely at home there.  We are given access to approach His throne with confidence, what kind of King is He?  That He allows ordinary sinners full access to Him and His love and acceptance?

He wants us to cast all our anxiety on Him.  When times are difficult, He longs for us to run to Him.  To crawl in His lap and find comfort there.  He holds us close even when we feel He is far away.  God is crazy about us, what a humbling and awe-inspiring thought!

Leading Your Family

This is certainly not a popular sentiment these days, but I believe men are called to lead their families well.  Often this idea has been abused by men to lord it over their wives and children.  The kind of leadership we're called to is just the opposite.  It's a self-sacrificing manner of leading.  We are to love and lead our families like Christ loves the Church.  That's a high calling.

Will we as believers step up and lead our families well?  Will we put their needs ahead of our own on a regular basis?  Will we consider their well being before our own?  I know I often fail at this but it doesn't make it any less of a goal.

When I first got married a little over 4 years ago, I thought sacrifice meant jumping in front of a bus to save my wife's life.  While that may be the case on a very rare basis, more often than not it's just serving and doing things that lighten your wife's load around the house or with the kids.  The chores that I hate to do, that's what I'm usually called to do, not jump in front of a bus or slay a dragon like in the movies.

And I need to do those chores with a cheerful attitude.  Easier said than done, right?  Some of the ways I try and lead and love my wife well are continually praising her.  Telling her how I feel about her is something I do on a regular basis.  This is easier for me than other men but no less necessary for any relationship.  

A few years ago I found my wife's three love languages were words of affirmation, gifts and acts of service.  We laughed because those three were tied for top spot.  Now I have plenty of ways to love her.  I can see that as impossible to do everything or I can see it as a plethora of opportunities to love her well.

I often pray for God to guide me to be a husband like Christ and a Father like Father God.  Thankfully I have plenty of examples given throughout Scripture to emulate.  My highest calling isn't serving as a missionary in whatever capacity, my highest calling is living on mission in my own home first.  If I can't lead my own home how can I possibly expect to lead outside of it?

Family Time

This last week we've been in Tennessee visiting Stef's family.  I often remark how blessed we are that we get along so well with both sets of inlaws.  My parents adore Steffani and her parents like me too thankfully.  Which is a good thing since her dad owns guns...a lot of guns. 

Stef has 2 younger brothers as well.  The middle one, Jake, has a wife and three kids so David had great fun with his cousins.  They all loved on him and were super excited to see him.

It was nice being around that many family members and having others keep an eye on him at times so Stef and I could relax more than usual.  Our boy is spoiled with love.  He's my parents' first grandbaby so they're over the moon of course.  Then on her side he's got all the cousins to boot on top of Stef's parents who love him to pieces as well.

My job has me traveling one week a month to the Dominican Republic.  I love it down there and would just assume move there.  For now we'll enjoy the time spent with extended family more.  We're 5.5 hours between each set of grandparents which we're incredibly grateful for.  Stef said she doesn't have another international move in her for a while so I'll be content with our current setup.  Contentment is key wherever you find yourself in life.

A Father's Responsibilities

Today is Father's Day in the Dominican Republic.  It was wonderful to be there and worship in Spanish.  I also really enjoyed the message in spite of not understanding it all.

The pastor talked about a father's responsibilities.  Some he mentioned were taking care and providing for your family.  He also talked about how fathers are responsible for the home environment, meaning how things are within the home.  Is it an environment of mutual respect between all members?  Does every member feel loved and appreciated?  Is it a negative environment?

That last one cut me to the core.  Lately I've caught myself being negative towards Stef.   It spills over from my negativity towards myself.  It's been a long battle and one in which I'm still learning to submit my thoughts to God. 

One of my spiritual gifts is encouragement, now I just need to delete the negativity in my life.  That's the last thing I want to promote in my family.  I want my family to thrive, and part of that is making sure it's a culture of encouragement where each member feels free to be themselves without having to worry about being criticized.

I pray as a father that I learn to better imitate my heavenly father in the day to day.  From showing my wife and child love and encouragement to encouraging them and building them up, may I allow the Father to shape me as a father.

Mini Habits for Weight Loss

Just finished a great book titled Mini Habits for Weight Loss by Stephen Guise and would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a different take on weight loss.  I found it to be of great benefit and am already trying some of the things suggested in it.

He talks about the 3 macro nutrients of proteins, fats and carbs and how we used to demonize fats and now we demonize carbs.  According to him and several studies he cited though those aren't the problems.  Overly processed foods are where we're going wrong as a society and in other societies around the world that have followed in our fat footsteps.  There are good fats and bad fats and likewise with carbs.

Basically, if it comes in a package or a box, don't eat it.  Easier said than done, right?  That's where the strategy of mini habits come into play.  So often we go on these big diets and simply can't sustain them over the long haul.  It's because of our mindset.  There's a big difference between saying "I can't have something" versus "I don't eat something."  One is going to make you want to rebel and one is just part of your identity.

Almost all diets work in the short term but very few if any in the long term.  There's a very high rate of failure if you follow dieters over the long haul.  I'm a prime example.  My wife and I went on a weekday vegan diet last year and I lost a ton of weight only to regain it now that we're back home and eating meat again.

So now I'm trying this mini habit strategy.  The basic idea is to have a habit so small it's nearly impossible to fail even on a bad day.  Then when you have a good day you can do bonus reps for example.

My first mini habit is not eating past 7pm every night.  This helps me avoid snacking at night and gives my body a good 12 hours to digest and lower insulin.  Last night I ate at 8pm but didn't eat until 8am so I'm alright with it.  Maybe I should rephrase my mini habit as eating within a 12 hour window, not sure on that one.

I've also stopped drinking soda due to something I saw on YouTube and that this author mentions as well.  You want to try and eat mindfully.  Sounds new age I know but it works.  I drank a couple of sodas mindfully and all I could taste was the chemicals and think about what it was doing to my body.

This path will be slower than most but I think it will be better long term for my health rather than my weight yo yoing like it has in the past.

Befriending the "Other"

Why do we label each other and those we don't know?  We all do this, I think it helps us make sense of the world and is often done without malice intent whatsoever.  However, sometimes it can lead us to put up walls between ourselves and someone from the other group, no matter what that group may be.

We're often scared of who we don't know.  Part of that is because we were raised to be weary of strangers, which is a great thing for children.  Once we reach a certain age though we must fight against our comfort zones and reach out to the 'other', simply someone different than who we usually hang out with.

You hear these labels in the news like "illegal immigrant" and "asylum seeker" and you're made to think they're all just terrible if not dangerous people.  I dare say if you know someone who fits one of those labels though you feel quite differently.

It's often that way, isn't it?  Once we meet and reach out to someone who is in whichever group is different than our own, we realize we're not so different after all.  We realize they're not to be feared but rather embraced.

I would suggest that whatever culture you're in, if you're in the majority or the minority but seen as someone who has power and is in a better situation, the onus is on you to reach out to the 'other.'  Get out of your comfort zone and go where God has called you.  If you live in the states you don't have to travel far at all usually to befriend someone from another culture.  Do not live in fear of what others may say about another group of people.  Find out for yourself.

On the Road to Damascus

We recently had to get a new doctor for David because we got new insurance.  Me, being the weirdo that I am, purposely picked a doctor whose name sounded foreign to me.  His first name is Yassin so I figured, well, I've never heard that name so we'll see where he's from.  Probably not many people's way of choosing a doctor I realize haha  We had asked others for recommendations but our insurance didn't cover any of them so this was the next best option.

This past week when we had a check up for little buddy I started asking our doctor about himself.  He said he was from Syria, Damascus to be precise.  He's lived here for 30 years and has raised a family but that's where his roots are.  He and Stef talked the week before when I wasn't there and he talked about how he cried when he visited Toledo, Spain because it reminded him of how Damascus looked before the war.

I asked if he still had family in Syria or if they had all fled.  He said most of them are still there.  I can't imagine what that must feel like, to have family back in a war torn country like Syria.  All I could tell him was that I would pray for them, which might have sounded a bit odd had I not told him prior to that the fact that I'm a missionary.

There is a certain temptation to believe that the answer to terrorism is to just bomb all the terrorists.  Hate doesn't overcome hate though, it just creates more of the same by way of innocent blood and revenge.  

What's the answer to terrorism?  In a word, Jesus.  Now, before you accuse me of being idealistic and naive I've actually witnessed it happen before.  I met someone in Spain who was at the top of the local terrorist watch list after having been radicalized in Mecca.  Then he met Jesus and accepted him as his Lord and Savior and his life was changed.

I even understand the desire to protect our borders and keep people from certain countries out.  I don't think that's the answer though.  Most Muslims come to Christ when they're outside of Muslim countries so we should welcome more of them, not ban them.  I know that's of course hard to do without letting in potential terrorists as well.  However, one could argue Jesus himself was a refugee from Egypt when he was a baby.  As it stands now, if He was a refugee from Egypt today He wouldn't be allowed into our country.

Same with Paul in the New Testament.  Paul was blinded on the road to Damascus, Syria.  Which means he traveled around that area.  So we'd keep Jesus and Paul both out because of stamps in their passport if they were living today.  Interesting thought, isn't it?  

40 years

My parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary yesterday.  40 years is a long time to do anything, so I thought I'd honor them with this post.  

My parents have always taught me in relation to marriage, "You have to be committed to commitment."  Feelings come and go, but commitments are forever.  You won't always feel in love with your spouse; anyone who has been married more than a year can attest to that.  Feelings are what can help jump start a relationship, but what keeps you there in hard times?  A commitment to commitment.

They've been through more than I will ever know.  It hits home a lot more now as I have my own son what they must've gone through when I was sick in high school and the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong.  They were always by my side though, and that's a lesson I'll always take from them.  Stick by loved ones no matter how difficult things become.

They still like to have fun together and tease each other.  That's probably where I get my sense of humor from.  They still enjoy each other's company, for the most part.  No one is perfect of course and I know they each can push each other's buttons at times but they're still very clearly 'for' one another.  They are 'for' the other person doing well in life and want to help them get to that point.

It's weird thinking they've been married 40 years and even weirder thinking I turn 40 in a few short years.  What all have they been through that I have no idea about?  What was life like before I came along and after Nathan and I left the house?

They raised us to be independent.  Nathan and I both have lead fairly successful lives and have both traveled the world so I'd say they were successful at that attempt.  I hope to raise my son to be independent as well.

When I have questions about raising David, they're the first ones I turn to.  I'm grateful that Stef gets along so well with them and I get along so well with her parents.  We both come from 'good stock' if you will and hope to carry on that tradition to the next generation.

If you know my parents, please congratulate them the next time you see them, would you?  

One Foot in America

Especially now, it feels like I've got one foot in America and the other in the Dominican Republic.  It won't always feel that way I'm sure but I just got home about a week ago and leave in another week.  Just how it turned out this time around.  I will be going down there one week per month from now on.

This last time I loved my time down there, but it is difficult to readjust to being back at home after being away a while.  In fact, I just felt like I got used to it again in time to go back there in a week!  I'm sure that will get better as the rest of my trips will be more spaced out.  These two just happened to be the very end of May and the third week of June.  Plus I went home to Illinois right after my DR trip so that shortened the time home as well.

It will take some getting used to, all this traveling.  However, I love being down there and I love being here, although I could go for a few more sunny days up here lately.  My boss told me I could get status just from the amount of travel I'm going to have so that'll be nice as I'll be eligible for free upgrades in the future.  In fact, this last time I got upgraded because my boss has status which is the first time I've ever flown business class and it was pretty awesome.  As my mom said, roughing it for Jesus haha

I've never been one on frequent flier stuff but maybe I should've been all along since I've traveled so much.  It has been truly a privilege to serve Jesus all over the globe and sometimes just travel for the fun of it.  Now it's in my DNA, way down deep in my bones.  And I met an incredible woman who loves to travel as well so double bonus!

I just filled out a global entry/TSA precheck application and am hoping I get those.  My boss said it probably looks like I'm a spy haha  It asked where I've lived since 2014 and that includes Myanmar and Spain.  Then it asked how many countries I've been to in that time and realized I have still kept up traveling in my 30's even though it felt like I had slowed down since my 20's.  As I said before, it's truly been an honor to serve Christ in vastly different places and traveled to several countries for fun as well.  Many people may not realize but when you're in different parts of the world it's extremely cheap to travel to different countries.  

I think this job will fit me quite well.  It requires a lot more travel than I'm used to for work but I think I'll end up enjoying it.  If I had a job like this earlier on I don't think I could've handled the contrast every few weeks between the 2 countries but now having traveled a lot I'm more used to it and have a better understanding of the differences than I did a decade or so ago.  So far, I've enjoyed it greatly.  It's hard to be away from my wife and baby of course but as I heard someone once say, it's okay for your kids to miss you.  Not that I'd like a job that required full time travel but this is okay for me in this stage of life.

What I've been up to...

This past week I was in the Dominican Republic for 5 days.  It was an absolute blast but also really challenging.  One of our first businesses is really struggling to stay afloat.  I missed my wife and baby like crazy.  Overall though, my time down there was great.  I had some great meetings with a few guys who want to start businesses and that's why I took this job, to equip and empower people to start kingdom businesses.

This is so exciting, and I'm sure I'm still in the honeymoon phase, but I truly love what I do now.  I've wanted to help start businesses ever since I served in Myanmar for 10 months over the course of 2 years.  And now, finally, I'm doing exactly that.

There was the restaurant, Pica, that I got to see all the progress they've made on that.  There was the GO store that is being moved and looks great in its new space off the back of the restaurant.  I met with a guy who wants to start a graphic design school for high school dropouts and also offer advanced certificates to professionals as a means to pay the bills.  I met with 2 chicken farmers who want to start their own chicken farm now.  All three of them just passed our church planting assessment and these are ways they can sustain the churches they're going to plant.

I'm beyond excited for this endeavor in the DR.  As I stated before, it's of course hard to be away from my family for 5 days each month.  What helps is that I love what I'm doing.  It's not going to a job I hate, it's going to a place and job I love.  I work from the home office the other three weeks of the month in Louisville, KY.  So, when I'm flying nowadays I'm either going to a part of my job I love or returning to the ones I love.  I'm incredibly grateful for this life I get to live and feel beyond blessed.  There are stresses and challenges in balancing both work and family but they are so very much worth it.

On Being a Daddy

For some reason, I decided to put off being a husband and father.  Everyone around me could see I'd be good at it but still I resisted.  As my own dad says it was because I was hard headed.  Be that as it may, I finally came around to the idea and am very glad I did.

I have a beautiful wife and a wonderfully playful son.  I adore both of them so much and will try not to sound too cheesy in this post about it.  My cousin and I were discussing fairly recently how great it is to watch our wives be mothers to our children.  He's a fairly new father as well, they had their first child a few months prior to David being born.  

David turned 1 year old a month ago, and things have really started taking off for him.  A day after his first birthday he took his first steps and now he's already practically running.  He's a blast to play with at this point and we've started play wrestling which I love and miss from when I was a boy myself.  I obviously can't be too rough with him but I do love snuggling him close and rolling around on the floor with him up in the air over me.

He brings me such joy it's hard to describe.  And then I think of how God our Father takes even more joy in me and it is nothing short of mind blowing.  How can God take that much joy in me?  But He does, He lavishes His love upon us and calls us His children.  He sings over us with joy.  These verses mean so much more to me now that I have my own child.  I understood them intellectually before but now I get it more on a heart level.  Some people don't need to have children to 'get it' by the way, please don't misunderstand me.  But for this hard headed guy it was necessary.

It's not always easy either of course.  The joy and pride I feel over him far outweigh the difficult times at this stage in the game.  I'm sure that may be more difficult to remember as he gets older and starts back talking like every kid does.  I think if I can remember to spend more time helping things go right than time spent disciplining and correcting him things will be alright though.

I mean, I thought I'd hate being a dad in the first place and I turned out to be completely wrong on that side of things too, right?  :)

The Difficulty of Parental Empathy

This past week, we had our son circumcised.  Needless to say, it was a long week.  Most people get their sons circumcised at birth but they don't normally do that in Spain where we were when we had him.  It has been really hard on him and on us as his parents.  The good news is he won't remember this.  That softens the blow a little but it has still been really hard to watch our son in pain like he has been.

There's just this feeling of helplessness.  He has been waking up in the middle of the night after finally sleeping through the night once we settled in Louisville which has left everyone a bit off center.  The pain meds wear off and that's usually when he wakes up.  He did finally sleep through the night last night so we praise God for that.

As I understand it, that usually never goes away; watching your kid in pain never really gets easy.  You just learn to cope with it after some time.  I can handle pain on my own, but watching my son struggle with it, that's another thing altogether.  Please don't misunderstand me, I know it could always be worse and there are a lot of kids in way worse situations.  But we've been blessed to have a baby boy who hasn't even hardly been sick his first year of life so it's a new thing for us.

The first day especially was rough as one might imagine.  General anesthesia is something I'd prefer to not ever have to see my kid need again unless it's for wisdom teeth when he's a junior or senior like I was.  Plus the days leading up to it you just have this underlying stress and nervousness because you think of what might happen rather than what usually happens.  What if your kid is the anomaly?  What if something were to really go wrong with the procedure?  Irrational thoughts like that go through your head and I'm sure that's pretty common amongst new parents.

It does give you a new appreciation about your own parents and how they used to worry for you when you were a kid.  Pain and suffering are common to the human race.  Some have a lot and some very little.  Worrying doesn't help though.  I kept praying prior to the surgery to just help me leave it in His hands.  I'm sure that'll be a common prayer now that I'm a parent  :)  

What Kind of Legacy?

I went to church earlier tonight and the sermon was about legacy in honor of Mother's Day.  The preacher talked about how Timothy was encouraged by Paul to walk in the ways of his mother and grandmother.  He spoke of his own grandmother and the legacy she had left behind.

A really good thought he had and drove home was that the legacy we inherited doesn't have to be the legacy we leave behind.  Many people have unfortunately inherited a legacy of abuse, addiction, any number of things.  That's not the end of the story though.  Change and transformation is available to all who believe at the foot of the cross.

I thought of my own mom and grandmother, each of whom have an incredible legacy that they're living and will outlive them long after they've gone onto glory.  I like to say I come from a long line of criers...my grandma and my mom both cry almost every time we say goodbye and now I'm about to the same point.  Particularly when I'm going to be away from my son for any length of time.

We all three cry for any number of reasons; sadness, grief, joy, happiness, reconnecting, worship, truly just about anything can trigger it.  It can be annoying at times, but I've learned to appreciate that side of me.  In my opinion it's because I love on a deep level.  I feel things more than others, and that's nothing to be ashamed of even though I'm a guy and guys aren't supposed to cry in our culture.

I have been broken over many things, both personal as well as things on a global scale.  That brokenness expresses itself through tears most often.  There's just something cleansing about having a good sob for some reason.

Steffani and I laugh that crying is one of the things where we take on different roles than what is stereotypical.  She can still cry of course but not nearly as frequently as I do.  Even during her pregnancy I was the one who would cry more often.  We'd laugh as I questioned whether I was the one with the pregnancy hormones instead of her.

If my son cries like I do at different things, I'm quite alright with it.  I don't want him to be overly sensitive but I do want him to have a soft heart towards the things of God and towards other people.  Most importantly, I want to leave him with a legacy of pursuing Jesus and His ways for us, not our own.  

I of course can only plant and water seeds and pray the Holy Spirit grows those seeds into fruit in his life.  Ultimately I have no control over where he'll end up.  But I'll do my best to point him to the One who loves him more than even I do.  I'm sure I'll screw up plenty of times, but I pray he's able to see past my insufficiencies and put his hope in the only One who is truly sufficient.  

Church in America

Before living overseas for a couple years in a very difficult area spiritually I was quite critical of the American church.  To be sure, there's room for improvement and I think we need to have constructive criticism.  Now when I look at the American church though, I see beauty I never realized was there all along.

For instance, the worship one generally finds here.  It can vary wildly depending on the church to be sure, but just being able to worship in your native tongue is an act of grace and beauty that I find myself in on a weekly basis now. 

I get emotional at times during worship, which is kind of ironic.  Before I moved overseas, I didn't have much use for worship in the traditional sense of singing and music which is what I've been referring to.  I just wanted a good and challenging sermon that kicked me in the butt and pointed me towards Christ and what He wanted to do through me.  I was a crotchety old man in that regard even before the age of 30!  God had to break me in order to show me what a gift singing to Him can be.  We sang in church in Spain, but I usually didn't have lyrics so it made it rather difficult to keep my mind from wandering.

I've also enjoyed taking communion on a weekly basis again.  That too depends on the church you normally attend, but I grew up in one that took it every week and find myself in another one that does the same.  It might be my favorite part of every service, when I reflect on what Christ did for me and for the world.  I repent and trust in faith that His blood washes me clean.  Again, it's an act of grace and beauty on the part of God Himself.

If you've been following this blog for a long time, this entry may shock you as I've been hyper critical of the church in America in previous seasons of life.  As I mentioned, there's always room for improvement, but in this season I'm enjoying her more than I have in a long time and I'm grateful to God for that gift.

Church, The good, the bad and the ugly

Oftentimes, especially in the past, I've gotten very cynical about the Church as a whole.  There are so many abuses committed behind closed doors, so many scandals, so many cover ups.  Add to that how many times the Church is no different than the culture around her and it's tough to stay positive about her.

But there is beauty within her.  In spite of all her misgivings, Christ loves her and calls her to Himself.  The Church is the Bride of Christ.  I used to bad mouth her and still struggle doing that sometimes.  Then I remind myself, if someone spoke about my bride that way I'd be irate with them.  Probably not a good idea therefore to bad mouth Christ's Bride.

We're given a picture I believe in the Old Testament of how Christ views His bride now perhaps.  In the Old Testament it's a metaphor for how God views the Israelites but I think it applies to the New Testament Church as well.  A prophet is told to marry a prostitute.  He does and doesn't hold her past against her.  Then she cheats on him and runs away and he's told to go and get her again.  I don't know of too many people who would do that, but God says that's how He treats His people the Israelites.  He forgives them of their many sins and buys them back and pursues them.  He does it again and again and again.

Like the news in general, our minds are attracted to the negative, to the worse things that happen in churches.  There is good news though.  People are introduced to Christ and He saves them.  Churches put up tiny home villages in their parking lots.  Churches take the money they were going to spend on advertising campaigns for Easter and instead spend it on forgiving people's medical debts.  Those were two stories I read yesterday that about made me cheer out loud.  Churches send out missionaries around the world who do good work and help the poorest of the poor.  Churches send people on short term trips around the world to encourage missionaries and help them serve the local people in different countries.  Not all missionaries are great btw, I know that full well as there have been recent scandals in that area too.

The Church should be a reflection of Christ.  Oftentimes it isn't but man is She beautiful when she is.  If you've been disappointed in the Church which most people have if they've been around a while, I pray you give Her another chance and realize the Church is more like a hospital of sick people taking care of other sick people.

Livin' the dream

Life has been really good lately.  We've visited almost all of our family and friends the past few months and have spent the last couple weeks getting settled down into life in Louisville.

A few years ago, a friend of mine told me "This is the best time of my life!"  I couldn't relate to him at the time but I can now.  I have an incredible wife, a beautiful baby boy, and I'm living my dream job.  Things are really good now.  

Hard times make the good times so much more worth it, don't they?  They make them that much sweeter.  I know when people think of Spain they think of where Americans go to vacation.  For us though it was hard.  We didn't have much of a community which is what makes life worth living no matter where you are.  My plans for an entrepreneurship school over there fell flat on their face for various reasons.  Our pueblo was incredibly isolating.  We were an ocean away from family when we had our first child.  

I'm not ignorant or naive enough to think we had it worse than others.  Of course not.  There are always people who have life worse off than you do.  It was hard enough though that this time is much more appreciated than it might otherwise have been.

I truly love my life right now, and I'm incredibly grateful for it.  I have a dear friend in Florida who always responds the same way when I ask how he's doing.  "Just another day in paradise living the dream."  He lives in Sarasota which is a beautiful location, but most people still wouldn't call it paradise or living the dream.  It's more a state of mind, of counting your blessings and realizing just how much one has to be grateful for.  

I lost sight of that for a while during this last chapter of life.  I pray I can keep perspective the next time things get hard.  May we all find times of respite and rest and purpose where we feel we're living the dream.  It won't be all the time of course, but we can all hope for a few along the way.

Free therapy

We arrived to Florida on Thursday morning after a short 2 hour flight from Louisville, Kentucky.  After we landed in Punta Gorda (gotta love the random places where Allegiant flies, right? ;) ) we picked up our rental car and headed north to Sarasota.

I lived in Sarasota for about a decade.  I lived overseas for part of that time but Sarasota was where I considered to be my home.  It was where I came back to after each overseas adventure and/or mission trip.

I used to teach elementary school in town here and after a week of teaching all I wanted to do was sit in silence.  Most weekends I'd spend a couple hours either Friday or Saturday night going to the beach and just walking in silence.  I'd go right around sunset and enjoy the show and then after everyone else left I'd go for my 'W and T with G - O - D' - walk and talk with God.  It's cheesy I know, but so is the author of that idea, your's truly  :)  

This last week had been wearing on me with the weather in Louisville.  It was mostly overcast and so I'd been feeling a bit down.  After we arrived and got settled down in our friends' place, I went to my tried and truest form of therapy, Siesta Beach.  The sand feels like baby powder between your toes, the water was the exact right temperature.  A long walk on the beach is not simply something to put in a dating profile, it's a little slice of heaven.

Maybe that sounds weird to go to the beach after dark but don't knock it till you try it.  Plus I burn really easily so going during the day isn't always my favorite unless I lather up with sunscreen several times throughout the time spent on the beach.

Walking on the beach at night or hiking a mountain in the morning are two of the best forms of therapy I've ever experienced.  If you're near nature and it's not snowing like it did in Illinois where my parents live yesterday, I encourage you to go get some fresh air and just breathe it in.  I promise the world will keep turning if you take a short time out from it  :)

Let's put the 'fun' in fundraising

A co teacher of mine once had a poster that said, "Let's put the fun in dysfunctional."  I laugh every time I think of that poster.  It's applicable to just about every group of people, isn't it?  Doesn't matter if it's a family unit, a classroom or a workplace, there's bound to be some dysfunction going on at some level.  So you might as well put the fun in it.

My beautiful wife, baby boy and I are in a season of fundraising right now.  We've been reconnecting with old supporters as well as connecting with potential new supporters.  Many missionaries dread this and see it as a necessary evil.  I don't look at it like that.  I understand where the sentiment comes from of course.  However, the people who invest in your ministry whether through prayer or finances or both can become some of your closest friends if you invest your time into the relationship as well.

I've always tried to send a few emails to our supporters through the year in addition to regular updates through Mailchimp or Facebook.  I try and send ones for their or their kids' birthdays, anniversaries, as well as asking for prayer requests at different points.  It's a good way to stay connected and actually treat people as partners rather than simply someone who sends you a check each month.  I'm not perfect on that front but I'm more consistent than I have been in the past.  The prayer emails have been fewer since having a baby though so hopefully I can get back on track with that this year again.

Perspective matters in regards to fundraising, or partnership development, or support raising, or whatever else the current lingo is.  Some people view it as simply asking for handouts but I see it as so much more than that.  If you believe in what you are doing than why would you not want to invite others to be a part of that?  Furthermore, you get to reconnect with people you might otherwise not which makes partnership development a great way to reach out to people you've lost contact with.

I see this time as a great way to reconnect with old friends as most of our friends are also our partners in ministry.  We'll get to catch up over the last couple years in a way that isn't doable over the interwebs.  It will be difficult, basically everything in life is more difficult with a baby.  But I can't wait to introduce our partners and friends to my beautiful baby boy, who is currently screaming in the background.  He's a great baby and I know a lot of our friends are looking forward to seeing the baby of someone who used to swear up and down he would never be married much less have a baby.  I'm sure I'll hear more than a few 'I told you so's' and am looking forward to it actually.

Raising support is a roller coaster ride as sometimes you're greatly surprised at someone's gift and other times you're hurt by someone else's ignorant words.  So, it's important to try and enjoy it as much as possible.  Over this next month as we travel to Florida and then Illinois, I hope to be able to put the fun back in fundraising  :)  

"Someday I'll miss this..."

Someday I'll miss the middle of the night cries that require cuddles.  I'll miss when he snuggles his head on my chest and sucks his fingers to soothe himself.  I'll miss all the cuddles and helping him soothe himself to sleep something fierce in the future.

That's one of my favorite parts of being a dad, simply putting my boy down for sleep be it a nap or for the night.  It's always such an intimate moment where I take great joy in him, I delight in him.  And then I contemplate in wonder at the thought that our Father God looks at me the same way.  He's crazy about me just like I am about my son, only infinitely more so.

I've never viewed God like that.  I've always known intellectually that He loves me.  I've read the Bible a few times and get that on my own as well as from other people preaching or encouraging me.  It's different after I became a dad myself though.  Now I understand it on a much deeper level.  Please don't misunderstand me here.  I'm not saying at all that single men can't understand what it's like until they become a father.  That's patronizing nonsense and I used to hate that garbage.  What I am saying is simply that's it's changed my personal perspective on God as Father and how He views me as His adopted son.  

He chose me.  I've always struggled with feelings of self-worth but then I'm reminded that the Creator of the universe chose me as His own child.  Do you know what that means?  It means I'm worthy simply because He calls me worthy and has chosen me to be worthy.  Jesus died for my sins and to reconcile me to the Father God.  I am hidden in Christ.  Many sermons I've heard seem to bypass this fact and just focus on how unworthy we are to receive the gift of salvation, which is also true.  However we should never forget that He makes us worthy, that's part of salvation.  So while we don't deserve anything from Him He makes us worthy.

This leaves no room for feeling unworthy or bad about ourselves.  We've screwed up before and surely will in the future as well as the present but that doesn't take away from our self-worth.  Maybe self-worth isn't the right description.  Our worth that is bound up in our identity in Him.  I've reminded people a lot through the years that our only true identity can be found in Christ.  I remind people of this often partly because I need to remind myself of it almost on a continual basis.

He has called us to Himself and made us His own.  How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God?  That's in the book of 1st John I believe, perhaps chapter 3.  Let's revel in that fact.  Let's lay our heads on our Father's chest as He listens to our worries and problems and rocks us to sleep and rest in His great love.  Who's with me?  

Thoughts on being 'Home'

Well, if you haven't heard yet, my wife and son and I are back in the good ol' US of A.  We returned on January 6th into Chicago for a night with my uncle and aunt before we went on to Springfield for a couple weeks.  Following that we went to Louisville for a night and were able to view some apartments before we went on to her parents in East Tennessee.  

It's a mix of emotions being back after a little more than 2 years in Spain.  I miss my friends there but it's really nice to be around our families again too.  Next week we head to North Carolina to visit her brother's family of 5 and so all the cousins are looking forward to meeting baby David too.

And it's just nice to be around good people again.  Maybe I should specify, being around good Christians is so refreshing.  We had Christian friends in Spain of course but very few and far between.  Here there's a church on every corner practically which can have its own problems of course.  However it's nice to worship in our heart language and talk to really good people.  I know that's vague but sometimes we really just missed what we view as common courtesy here, looking at people and saying hi when you're in the store or walking on the street for instance.

What's weird is the difference in the size of cars here.  SUVs and pickups galore compared to mostly station wagons over there.  I think the main reason is the cost of gas between here and Spain.  At one point I calculated the gas price was the equivalent of roughly $5.25/gallon.  So cars like SUVs and pickup trucks aren't nearly as popular obviously.  Almost every time I'm in a parking lot (looking for our own SUV mind you) it strikes me as weird.  I mean, what is an SUV except simply a station wagon raised up a bit, right?  Am I the only one who sees that?  :)

Reverse culture shock hasn't hit me nearly as hard as I anticipated so that's been a nice relief.  I'm sure it'll come in waves like it normally does but for the time being it's just been a nice time of decompression and rest for us as a family.  Coming back to my parents' place and then her parents' place has helped a lot too.  I think if we had moved straight to Louisville it would've been a lot harder on us.

So, being home has just been nice to be honest.  I was really dreading it as reverse culture shock has been really hard in the past.  But this time is different.  Maybe I was more ready for the good side of things than I expected, not really sure on that.  

Blessings to all of you who live in the states or wherever else on this day!