Hold On To Your N.U.T.s

A friend lent me a book recently with the title Hold On To Your N.U.Ts.  It was a self help type of book aimed at men in particular so the title was just perfect.  Nuts in this case stand for Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms.  The author spoke about this idea of every man should have his nuts and needs to hold on to them.

It got me wondering, “What are my nuts?  What are my non-negotiable, unalterable terms?  I used to have a list for what I was looking for in a woman and I found all of those things in Steffani (SCESFIALS - Strong Christian, Emotionally Stable, Fit, Intelligent, Attractive, Laughs, Sociable) but that’s really the last list along those lines that I had.

This list will have to be more for me than for someone else.  What am I not willing to compromise?  What is really important in my life?  He gave examples in the chapter but very few of them resonated with me for some reason.

What’s important to me?  Following Jesus is at the core of everything I try and do.  Loving and leading Steffani is a close second place.  How do I put those in non-negotiable terms?  Follow Jesus no matter the cost.  Lead and love Stef to the best of my abilities.  Maybe that’s a good start.

When I read about the N.U.Ts it reminded me of when I used to watch a show called CSI and the character named Jethro had his rules to live by.  I suppose every person needs a code to live by.  I’ve just never sat down long enough to really think through it.

These N.U.T.s are meant to be short and sweet, easy to remember.  There were some examples from other men that included working out a few times a week.  That should be important to me but it isn’t really all that important to me for some reason.  I’ve done a lot better job at working out the past couple of months but I don’t think it’s non-negotiable yet.  Perhaps I need to make it that way.

So, here are my N.U.T.s

1. Follow hard after Jesus no matter the cost
2. Love and lead Steffani well through everything life throws our way.

Somehow those don’t seem like they’re what the author was looking for and that’s why I struggled to even think about it in the first place.  But those are my non-negotiable, unalterable terms.  I will always follow Jesus and love and lead Steffani, no matter what.  Maybe there’s a beauty in simplicity there, or maybe I need to think more about it  :)

I'm Thankful For...Part 2

Another thing I’m extremely grateful for this year is the opportunity to pursue the dream I feel called to.  Have you ever seen those quotes that say, “I’m not telling you it’ll be easy, but it’ll be worth it.”?  That is sort of where I feel like I am right now.  I’m pursuing the dream that I feel God has placed in my heart and it’s really tough at times; I joked on Sunday about how I get rejected all the time while fundraising.

At the same time though, I wouldn’t trade it for all the money in the world.  It can be very tough and very discouraging at times, this whole fundraising thing, but at other times it’s actually a very joyful process believe it or not.  I’ve reconnected with old friends from different times in my past and it has truly been a joy to share with them where we’re at as a couple and to catch up on their lives.  I really love that part of it.

Along those same lines, I’m beyond grateful for all of our current supporters.  This line of work isn’t easy to be sure, and having people backing us prayerfully and financially is the only thing that makes it all possible.  This year has been focused on fundraising and there’s simply nothing glamorous about it.  All the more reason to get excited when people join our team even now before we get to the field.  

NMSI has a wise policy that you have to be 100% funded before you go to the field.  The idea is you don’t want to be stuck overseas without any money, a very wise idea indeed.  Some people have assured me that more people will give when we get overseas but that’s basically a moot point since we can’t get to the field until we’re fully funded.  With that in mind, our supporters who have been with us a while already are critical in us moving forward.

It’s incredibly humbling to live on support.  You realize you truly don’t own anything and it makes you think twice before you spend money on stuff.  It’s pretty cool though really when you think about it.  Our support paycheck comes directly from people who believe in us and are generous enough to support us financially.  It’s wonderful to think of it that way.  I don’t always succeed in thinking that way of course but when I’m at my best I remember that my paycheck comes from all different types of people who love Steffani and me.

There’s a whole lot to be grateful for this year.  Sometimes negativity can rear its ugly head and get the best of me.  That’s another reason I love this time of year; it’s a chance to recalibrate our heart’s direction.  Thanksgiving causes us to reflect on all that God has blessed us with and that is something to celebrate on a regular basis.

I'm Thankful For...

We’re almost upon that great American holiday known as Thanksgiving.  It’s always been one of my favorites...overeating and sharing your gratitude for others in your life, what could be better?  Truly though, as cliche as it is to say, an attitude of gratitude goes a long way toward making every day a little bit better.

Without further ado, I’m thankful for many things this year.  I’m thankful for Jesus; as a matter of fact I basically broke down in the middle of a church service a week and a half ago thinking on His great sacrifice.  It doesn’t happen very often that I just break down and cry like that but there is something cleansing about it, ya know?

In second place I’m obviously thankful for Steffani, my beautiful wife.  It is not good for man to be alone and it sure took me a long time to wake up to that realization.  Some people can be single for life and do a wonderful job serving the Lord in their singleness but it took me quite a while to figure out I wasn’t meant to be one of those people.  I loved my 20’s and being single, but marriage has fit me better I think.

Steffani is so wonderful.  One of the many things I love about her is that she just does stuff without needing praise or comments.  Me, on the other hand, I want a pat on the back if I do the smallest thing like picking up a towel or something silly.  It’s definitely an area I need to grow in, and as a result I really admire Steffani for all the stuff she does on a daily basis without having a need for any recognition.  

To be sure, I try and point out when I love something she has done, but I don’t do it nearly enough.  Thankfully she doesn’t require it every time she does something; otherwise half of the stuff she does wouldn’t get done.  She just really has a servant’s heart, and my life and everyone else’s life is enriched by it.  I have often prayed to be a servant and graciously God has gifted me with a woman who is a wonderful example of a servant.

I’m so grateful to be married to this wonderful woman whom I call my wife.  It’s also nice that we had a rock solid friendship before marriage.  This isn’t possible for everyone to have of course but I’m thankful we had the opportunity to build a friendship before we got married or even engaged for that matter.  Our friendship prior to dating probably lasted longer (okay, maybe much longer, right Honey?  ;) ) than Stef would’ve wanted, but we often comment on how nice it is to be married to your best friend.  I have other men in my life too who are best friends, but there’s obviously a difference when you’re romantically involved with a friend.

While there are stresses on a consistent basis in all our lives, let’s take time out on a regular basis to remember what we’re grateful for.  It’ll go a long way toward making our lives better or at least more manageable.

Living and Giving

Last night was our last night of FPU, Financial Peace University, a class put on by Dave Ramsey.  It’s a 9 week long course that you typically take at a church where he teaches on DVD and then a coordinator leads the discussion afterwards.  We had a really nice final class with a potluck where different people brought food to share.

The final class was called ‘The Great Misunderstanding’ and was about giving.  Dave talked about how a lot of people simply don’t give at all and are missing out on joy as a result.  Giving is the best thing we can do with our money; not because God needs our money but because it helps us become more Christ-like.  God is the ultimate giver and gave His own Son for our sins; therefore to be more like Him we must learn to be givers as well.

He made it clear that no matter where you are in the baby steps (his method for financial peace) you should be giving at least a tithe.  It may seem counterintuitive to give while you’re still getting out of debt but again it’s just good for the soul.  He didn’t really touch on it but I’ve often associated giving with the idea of sacrifice.  I had a wonderful preacher growing up who used to talk about sacrificial giving; the idea that if it doesn’t hurt a little than you’re not doing it right.

I couldn’t agree more.  Is giving really giving if it’s not causing you to sacrifice?  For some people that means just getting started with giving.  For other people that means they need to increase from the tithe if that’s what they’ve been giving for a long time and no longer really feel it.

It’s incredibly humbling to be on the receiving end of so many people’s generosity.  People’s giving is what enables us to do what we want to do; try and start an entrepreneurship school in Cuba or Central America some day.  Right now we’re still in fundraising mode, but that can be a joy as well to see people give on top of what they might be already giving.

If you are one of our supporters, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  It means the world to my wife and I and we are consistently humbled by other’s generosity.  We try and give to others as well to try and pay it forward.  Without other people’s giving though, we would be nowhere.