Cause for Concern

1-2 min read

Most people in my generation (millenial) want to live lives of significance and change the world.  I would count myself among those with this type of mindset.

My approach is a touch different though.  In my 20’s I spent a lot of time chasing after different types of ideas and projects that I felt could effect change.  Clean water, church planting, education, small business development.

There are an infinite number of causes to get behind.  One of the problems I see is that we all get distracted by the next shiny cause.  This is a major problem because it can easily lead us to lose our focus.  If our energy is dispersed among 10 causes than we make no progress in any of them.

Additionally, once we choose one cause to focus on we’re often surprised once the shinyness wears off and we realize how incredibly difficult it will be to effect change in that area.  Many times we become disillusioned and move on to the next shiny cause.

As my friend Ryan from Myanmar told me once, anything worth doing is difficult.  Easy solutions, while obviously appealing in a microwave society, are terribly difficult to come by.  Personally I’ve been afflicted with ‘paralysis analysis’ more times than I care to admit.

A possible way to start is to think about what cause would you be willing to give decades of work to?  What in the world could possibly be worth that much of your time?  Would you also be okay if you didn’t see hardly any progress in that area?  If your dreams were shattered overnight and you felt completely hopeless once more?  Could you keep going?

Victim or Victor, Part 2

1-2 min read

Our best leaders have been ones that have lead with an aspiration for better lives for people.  They have a vision for the future.  Other leaders appeal ever so successfully to our collective victim mentality.

There is no shortage of individuals, systems, and governments for us to blame.  There is no limit to the number of problems that others have created that we have inherited.  We can spend decades or even lifetimes feeling and defending our notion that the deck has been stacked against us.

However, I’m much more interested in what we do have control over.  How can we help ourselves and others?  How do we help ourselves and others overcome a victim mentality?  How do we switch to a victor mentality?

Personally, I’ve struggled a lot with negative thinking through the years (see my last few blogs about the coming crisis for verification :) ).  There have been episodes of depression but even apart from that it’s all too easy for me to become ensnared in a cycle of negative thinking that quickly clouds my ability to be grateful or even think clearly.

Something I’ve been mulling over is a twist on something my dad used to tell me.  One piece of advice he gave me in the past is that you get an abundance of what you tolerate.  I’ve seen that to be true in just about every arena of life.

The twist I’ve been wondering about is if I might get an abundance of what I focus on.  If I focus on gratitude might I have an abundance of positive thinking as a result?  If I focus on my problems and society’s problems might I have an abundance of negative thinking and feelings of hopelessness?

If I focus on who I am in Christ might I forget about myself altogether in the best possible way?

Victim or Victor?

1 min read

The past few weeks it has occurred to me I’ve been exposed to quite a bit of what I would call a victim mentality.  I see it in our worksheets for language school.  I see it in my business classes with young American students studying abroad.  I see it in news cycles.  I saw it in our latest political election cycle especially, from both pundits.

Basically, a victim mentality can be described as an overarching theme that life isn’t fair and outside forces have caused your situation and/or are preventing you from changing your situation.

To be certain, there are circumstances like that all throughout the world.  There are systemic injustices around every corner.

However, another problem that is often overlooked is an individual’s mindset.  While political protests are necessary and encouraged, what do we do in the meantime?  How much of our energy is spent complaining about the system versus trying to improve our own circumstances or another’s?

One might easily argue that protesting is energy spent trying to improve someone’s circumstances.  While that is true, I’m more concerned with how we might help even just one other person on an individual level.

I would argue it is much easier to protest than to actually effect change on an individual basis.  Perhaps that’s why protests are so appealing to us.  Clictivism has taken protests to an all new level, one which is even easier and less effective.

Standing on Shoulders, Part 2

In Spanish class the other day we were talking about our parents and what our growing up years were like.  I shared how my parents were still married after all these years.  And how by some miracle they still have a happy marriage.

The first time I met and became close to people who came from broken home lives was in college.  I knew people in high school of course but was mostly close to people who also came from stable homes and strong marriages.  It occurred to me then that although my parents certainly weren’t perfect they did a wonderful job at providing stability for my brother and me.

There have been several times since when it has been reinforced that not many people come from stable homes like my brother and I did.  My teacher remarked that probably one of the reasons I felt marriage could indeed be a good thing was that I saw one growing up.  She couldn’t be more right.

To be sure, anyone can have a strong marriage, especially if that marriage is based on Christ.  Steffani and I do have an extra advantage though in the sense that we both saw healthy marriages growing up.  

I’m sure both sets of our parents had several of what my mom lovingly refers to as ‘discussions.’  Overall though, they provided a home in every sense of the word.  A safe place for both of us to express ourselves and grow up.

Even to this day, I enjoy watching my parents when we’re around them.  The wisecracks my dad makes with the subsequent hit in the gut he gets from my mom.  My mom messing with dad’s hair after church just to drive him nuts and it never failing to drive him nuts.  Every. Single. Time.

I stand on shoulders you understand.  I am incredibly grateful for my parents and everyone else who has poured life into me.  They are all an incredible inspiration.  

The best I can hope for is to live a life similar to my Grandpa’s. Where at the end of it all, I leave a huge hole in people’s lives.  The kind of life where more than 6 years after my passing someone weeps at the memory of the impact I had on their lives.

Standing on Shoulders

A week or two ago my wife and I were watching our new favorite show titled ‘This is Us.’  This show is way out of my norm in terms of tv shows or movies.  I usually prefer stupid humor types of movies or over the top action movies.

The most recent episode we watched was one in where a 36 year old’s biological father is in a hospital bed and passes away after a long battle with stomach cancer.

I don’t mean to rat myself out as an emotional man, but almost every episode of this show has left me with a tear in my eye.  This episode though, was altogether different.  It instantly transported me back to Paris in 2010.  Allow me to explain.

I was in the middle of a round the world trip when I was 28 years old.  I was staying at a couchsurfer’s house on the outskirts of Paris when my mom called.  My grandpa was sick and in a hospital bed.  He told me “I love you, Justin.”  My mom got back on and told me he might end up turning a corner soon, they weren’t really sure at this point.

For some reason I just knew though, I could hear it in his voice.  I could hear he was going to pass soon.  And so, I wept.  I wept in a complete stranger’s home on the outskirts of Paris in the middle of the night.  I wept for what felt like forever and slept for even longer the next day.

Then we watch a tv episode years later and I’m suddenly transported back to the random Parisian’s home, memories come flooding back and before I can stop myself I’m weeping again.  And not one of those barely crying, man sniffles.  No, I don’t really do those.  When I cried this last time, I wept.

I wept for a man who left a hole when he left.  In my humble opinion, when some people pass they just leave a bigger hole in this world.  They make a tremendous impact on most everyone they meet.  My grandpa was one of those men.

As I get older I seem to become more acutely aware that everything I am and everything I have done and will do in the future is not isolated.  My life has been shaped by outside forces and influences.  First of all by Christ Himself, and secondly by loved ones who poured so much life into me.