1 Year Slump

We’ve been in Spain for a year now.  I’ve been feeling a bit off lately and was unsure why.  Until I stumbled across some old training material from our time at CIT (Center for Intercultural Training) in North Carolina last August.

This material was talking about the enculturation process and how long it takes to adapt.  There were graphs of what’s considered ‘normal’ and usually at the one year mark there was a slump in the line.

That appears to be where I’m at now, in a bit of a slump.  Can’t really put my finger on it, except maybe it’s just cultural stress that wears on you day in and day out whether you realize it or not.

While it’s certainly comforting to know the 1 year slump is perfectly normal, it’s still difficult.  Some people hear that we’re living in Spain and remark, “Must be tough.”  I get it, I do.  I heard the same when I lived in Sarasota, Florida.

However, any time you spend more than a couple of weeks in a place and have made it home, it’s just a different animal.  Whether it’s Hawaii, Florida or Spain, God needs His people everywhere.

Life is tough overseas, no matter where you live.  You’re away from your family and friends and just day to day living can wear on you.  The most basic thing takes much more time than one would expect.  That seems to be what’s lost on people who think living in Europe is just one long vacation.

While we don’t have to worry about stuff others have to worry about in developing nations, life overseas, even within Europe, can just be draining sometimes.  

When my wife posts pictures on Facebook sometimes it just makes me want to scream.  I hate Facebook at times because it’s not real life.  If it were real life everyone would post way more pictures of their kitchen and living room, and not just after they’ve remodeled it.

She struggles over here more than I do and I know the image we relay through pictures makes it looks like our life is just one large highlight reel.  Spain has amazing architecture to be sure, but that’s one tiny facet of our lives here.

Sorry if this is a discouraging post, normally I try to be upbeat and encourage people who read it.  I guess at this point I could just really use prayer for Steffani and I.  As I said life overseas can be draining and that seems to be where we’re both at lately.  Prayers are appreciated for renewal and a place of thriving.

Growth or Comfort?

Quick question...if you could choose one or the other, would you choose growth or comfort?  Which have you chosen lately?

I’m more and more convinced that growth and comfort normally don’t go hand and hand.  Growth is difficult and can be extremely painful.  Many kids hurt when they’re growing.  The same is true in life.

When life feels unbearable, that is usually when we’re growing.  We can’t see it in the moment, but that’s usually when God is growing us more into the likeness of His Son.

The Bible says He draws near to the broken hearted.  I don’t know about anyone else, but normally when I’m broken hearted God feels incredibly distant.  Why is that?

We as Christians believe the Holy Spirit lives within us.  So why does God feel so far away?  Why do our souls feel as though they’re in a desert if living water dwells within us?  Why is growth so incredibly uncomfortable?

Going through deserts is something none of us enjoy.  It has occurred to me over the last few years though that perhaps there’s a way to redeem these times.

A friend of mine asked me in Myanmar in 2014 how I was allowing Jesus to meet me in my loneliness.  It was a very rough time in my life; Stef and I had gotten engaged about a month earlier, my best friends were back stateside fundraising and I just didn’t have many people to talk to.  As an extrovert it was painful to be that lonely.

So I was caught off guard when she asked me that.  How am I allowing Jesus to meet me in my loneliness?  What?  It was a great question and one I still reflect on from time to time in different variations.  

How am I allowing Jesus to meet me in this situation?  How am I laying this discomfort I’m experiencing before His feet and allowing Him to grow me through whatever this current situation is?  

Have you asked yourself these types of questions recently?

Breathing and Prayer

The other day I was reading a book called Loving My Actual Life.  It talked about this thing called breath prayer.  You inhale and speak a name of God and then exhale and express a desire of your heart.

For example: “Immanuel” on the inhale and “Be near” on the exhale. Several years ago on my round the world trip I read about about how evangelism should be like breathing.  

This has me wondering if there is more to our prayer lives and our evangelism than strategies.  Perhaps it's more a part of us, similar to how our breathing is a part of our nature.  

I believe that we are made to worship God in Christ Jesus and so it makes sense that breathing is a part of that. Maybe that's God's way of showing us that prayer is so vital.  

There's also the imagery throughout the Bible of blood.  Christ shed his blood for us.  Blood is the life source of everything we know.  Blood brings oxygen  to every part of our bodies so that we might have life.  Without blood, we are dead.  Without the blood of Christ we are similarly dead, in a spiritual sense.  

Breathing and blood are things we never think about but are vital to our survival.  How much of our everyday life is prayer?  Is it our life source like breathing and blood?  Or do we forget about the very thing that gives us spiritual life like we do the things that give us physical life?

Breathing and prayer.  Two seemingly unrelated topics but upon closer inspection are indeed very intertwined.

Marriage: HOLLYWOOD Style

Early on in our marriage, (and yes, I realize we are still early on), it occurred to me that I too had been influenced by Hollywood movies on the idea of marriage.

Most people accuse women of wanting everything to be perfect because of too many romantic comedies.  While this certainly can be very true, men are just as guilty.

We watch action movies where men go into battle and do something to save their wife’s life.  This often involves sacrificing one’s own life.

Shortly after we were married, I can remember sitting down in a chair in our Fort Myers apartment.  I prayed for God to give me wisdom on how to serve my beautiful wife.  I can remember it vividly because He immediately answered me.  As I opened my eyes I saw a sink full of dishes that needed to be washed.

For some reason, I had expected God to answer me completely differently.  I remember laughing at myself because I thought, “What did I expect for an answer?  That I would need to jump in front of a bus to push her out of danger’s path?”  A silly example, but one I’ve succumbed to more than once.  

Service is most often found in the mundane tasks of day to day living like washing the dishes and other household chores.  We’re not often called upon to jump in front of a bus or take out a gang of bad guys.  99% of the time that’s only found in movies.

Have you ever seen a movie about a guy who loves his wife by doing the dishes and other chores?  Me neither.  It’s not sexy at all and so it isn’t written for the big screen.  But I dare say that’s how the greatest love stories are written, one act of service after another for 50+ years.