humbled

I'm finishing up my week in Durban, South Africa. I came to visit a friend from college and see what she was doing for her international development internship. There have been so many things this week that have humbled me, and I wanted to share a few of them.

For some reason, close to the end of my flight from Port Elizabeth to here, I felt like talking to the guy who was sitting next to me. So I struck up a conversation and really had a nice time. Then he asked how I was getting to the place I was staying in Durban. I told him I had planned on just taking a taxi and he said in response, "You don't want to do that. It takes about a half hour to get into town from the airport and the taxis are huge ripoffs. Let me see if my ride can give you a ride into town." As soon as we're walking toward the baggage claim, he pulls out his cell phone and calls his ride and sees if he'd be willing to give another guy a ride. He says yes, and as a result I have a free ride into the city. We go to the driver's place of business, where I switch cars and get taken by my new friend's mom to the area where I will be staying. Needless to say, I was more than grateful for the free ride and tried to express my gratitude but simply couldn't.

Next, my friend gets off work and comes to the restaurant where I was at waiting for her. That's another thing. This restaurant wasn't even technically open but they let me stay there anyways. And the manager gave me a coke for free. Anyways, my friend gets there and we greet each other and head over to where she's been staying. Elise is one of the sweetest girls I know and it was so good to see another American who understood my accent. She was truly a blessing this trip. We got to catch up over the past few years of what has gone on in each others' lives and had great conversations. Her host family that she was staying with couldn't have been more accommodating, something I've come to expect from all South Africans because of my experience the past few weeks. They cooked me a ton of meals and were so pleasant to be around. Elise had to leave earlier today but they let me stay until tomorrow since my flight doesn't leave until then.

I have been more than taken care of in South Africa and have been humbled and inspired as a result. I want to open my home to travelers when I return home to the states. It's such a great way to meet people of other cultures and learn something new about the world. I will miss South Africa greatly, from all the adventure to the outstanding hospitality that continually humbled me. In 2 days though, it's on to Hong Kong, the road calls again...

South Africa so far

Where do I begin?! The last couple of weeks have been simply amazing and filled with adventure.

My first stop in South Africa was Cape Town and I was privileged enough to stay with a couple of great couchsurfers. The first one hosted me 2 nights, and the second hosted me 5 nights. The second host was named Bernard and his girlfriend Laura. We really got along well and they were simply a joy to be around. They were super busy with end of term things since they're both college students but still made time to hang out with me and eat some meals together. They're both artists and film students so I learned a lot about documentaries, which I already love. One of them is finishing up a documentary so it was cool to see her in the process of completing it.

On to the adventure part of my stay. I went shark diving on a Sunday morning and just loved it. It was pretty thrilling to be in a cage and have a shark come right up to it. They put fish oil in the water to attract them, they didn't use blood like people often think. The next day, I hiked up Table Mountain, which was a difficult 2.5 hour hike that I was glad when it was over. At the top were stunning views of all of Cape Town so it was worth the hike. Plus there's a restaurant at the top so I pigged out on a lot of food to replenish the fuel loss. Pretty sure I replenished the fuel loss and then added some on, but I was really hungry so that makes it okay, right?

After Cape Town, I went to Port Elizabeth and met up with a friend who I had met in New Zealand a couple of years earlier and kept in touch with. Her family was wonderfully hospitable and very accommodating. I helped out at a few places including the Human Dignity Center with their daycare class. I also went to a couple of game reserves. At one of them I got to play with lion cubs which was really cool, they were 3 month old twin boys and just adorable. At the other game reserve we saw a ton of elephants and I thought for sure one was going to climb on top of our vehicle at one point. He came right up next to my window, definitely sent a shudder down my spine as they are huge up close and personal like that. I also ended up going bungy jumping at the world's tallest bungy jump so that was amazing as well. It takes your breath away when you jump off a bridge and aren't completely sure if the rope will catch or not. The only thing I could think was, "Man, I sure hope this catches soon." Simply exhilarating. I've been skydiving 3 times and this was about the same amount of adrenaline. They play music loudly at the top of the bridge to help calm your nerves after the long walk out over the bridge where you can see underneath you to see just how long 216 meters is.

A couple of days ago I made my way over to Durban and am staying with an old friend from college and her hosts. I'm working with her at a creche, which is basically a French word for a daycare. The kids are cute but chaotic. Oh man, coming from a disciplined classroom it was quite a shock to my system. I've been very careful not to critique though, that's not really my place. Although one teacher said she wanted me to observe today and give her suggestions tomorrow. We'll have to see how receptive she is to my suggestions, because I definitely have a few.

Well, hope you're all having a great Thanksgiving! Don't go too crazy tomorrow at the malls...

breathing

I've been in Dublin now for 5 days. It's been mainly rainy but today it let up so I was able to go out and check out some cathedrals, including St. Patrick's. The first church/cathedral I went to I happened to be there when they served the Eucharist. It was a beautiful thing, really, the words were very impactful as I hadn't memorized them and had them lose their meaning. We prayed for, among many other things, the sick, the bereaved, the oppressed and the homeless. I used to be critical of this type of prayer the first time I heard it but I wasn't today. The thought I had when I first heard this prayer in a Catholic church was, "Yeah, but what are you DOING about it?" Now I realize that while actions are definitely needed, nothing is more powerful than prayer and that is a wonderful spot to start. I would suggest that if you want to cultivate a heart for a particular ministry or social justice issue that you both pray about it and put money towards it. Where your treasure is there will your heart be also. Plus if you pray about it you're more likely to meditate on it and think of how God is involved in that area and how He wants you to become involved with it. We are called His body for a reason, right? We are His movements in the world, He works through us to draw all things to Himself. Jesus died on a cross to reconcile all things to Himself, and we get to take part in that reconciliation. During the Eucharist we also prayed for the world and churches in the world. I prayed especially for my home church, the church in Haiti and the church in Pakistan. Haiti and Pakistan have seen such devastation with their natural disasters this past year and they will need the church to step up and take the lead to start the long road to recovery and development. A lot of people in development don't see a need for the church but if you aren't serving people's spiritual needs alongside their physical needs than you're missing a vital part of the development process. Not to mention we need to see ourselves as people who are broken as well, just in different areas. There's a book titled "When Helping Hurts" that explains that a lot better than what I just did here if you want a good resource for a deeper, more thorough explanation.

I finished a book last month by Tony Campolo titled, "Everybody Wants to Change the World" subtitled 'Practical Ideas for Social Justice.' In it he talks about the need for evangelism. He poses the idea that the reason it feels so unnatural to hand someone, almost always a complete stranger, a track is because sharing the gospel shouldn't be like giving a mini-sales presentation. Evangelism, he goes on to argue, should be as natural as breathing. I thought about this quite a bit and really do like the idea of it, we just need to remember to breathe. A couple of nights ago I was reminded of this as I shared my faith with someone in the hostel. It was a 6 bed dorm room but he and I were the only ones in there. I got in about midnight and he was still up so we struck up a conversation. He was from London and a couple years ago had left his job to take a round the world trip, gee, sounds likes someone else I know. The difference was he didn't have a job to come back to like I gratefully do. Somehow we start a deep theological discussion and I realize that I'm doing it, I'm breathing. He had some questions that are not easily answered and if I would have tried to answer them completely would have made them seem trite when they weren't at all. We talked about the devastation in Haiti and about all the evil in the world. We talked about how the Church had such a stained history with the Crusades and the child abuse that had been in the news the past few years among many other hypocrisies. I told him that I shared a lot of the same questions but came to realize I can no longer use other people's hypocrisy to excuse my lack of belief in Jesus. If I claim to follow Jesus, than I need to measure my belief against what He came to do and how He lived his life. We can't afford to put our hope in others, even strong followers of Christ, because ultimately they will let us down. Ever since the first tempation and consequent sin we have been tempted and fall into sin. That's what is so beautiful about Christ though. He died for all people's sins. He covered them with His blood shed on the cross. He resurrected after 3 days in the tomb to give us eternal life with Him. That is where my belief is, not just in people because ultimately people fail you. If you lean too heavily on someone else's faith you will eventually be let down. I still remember a lady who wrote me a card when I was hospitalized as a sophomore in high school that said I needed to let go of the coattails of my parents' faith and develop my own. That has stuck with me to this day. We cannot rely on other people's faith to bring us to Jesus. He alone draws us to Him and we alone can choose Him as a response to His leading. Other people may be His instruments that He uses to draw others towards Him, but they are not the end in it of themselves. He is the prize, He is what we 'get' as a result of a belief in Him. We are not promised an easy life as a result of a belief in Him nor are we promised health and wealth. If anything we are promised more persecutions and hardships as a result of following Him. As far as the health and wealth gospel goes, have they looked at the life of Christ while He was here on the earth? He could've come in luxury and all the riches of the world had he chosen to but He chose instead to come from humble beginnings. How does that jive with 'name it and claim it' types of messages? There are places where He said He was homeless. Now, there's nothing wrong with riches, except that it makes it harder to enter the kingdom of heaven. I think we're too quick to skim over that passage and get to the part where it says with God all things are possible. Of course with God all things are possible, but riches can easily get in the way of what God wants to do in our lives. I had this thought a while back after coming home from Kenya in 2006 that if I loved my neighbor as myself, shouldn't I be giving my neighbor as much as myself? So at that time I gave 50% of my income to missions. Now, it was 50% of my net but it was still a fairly sizeable amount. I've since come down from that by quite a bit but I'd ultimately like to get back to that someday. It will take discipline, to be sure, but how can I claim to love others as much as myself if I'm not either spending as much money on them as I do myself or at the very least willing to share all my possessions with my neighbors? I realize this is a radical viewpoint and not many people share it, but it's just something I've come to see I need to do in my life. It will take a while to get back to that point, but I can't wait until I reach that point again. The only reason God blesses His people is so we can turn around and bless others. If we get a raise, what's our first response? Is it to spend it on ourselves? This can be a good thing if it means helping us get out of debt. But if it just means raising our standard of living than I think we've missed the heart of God. He is the ultimate Giver, and we need to look to Him as an example. If we don't have money to give, then we need to give of our other resources, whether that is our time or talents or both. Are we really willing to sacrifice all our lives for Christ? Are we willing to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters?

debt and giving

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37423674/ns/business-personal_finance/
http://www.brillig.com/debt_clock/
http://www.economist.com/node/17041738?story_id=17041738

Well, from these three websites it appears our household debt as individual Americans is almost exactly the same as the national debt. Our individual debt is 13.5 trillion whereas the national debt is 13.6 trillion, just unfathomable numbers. I couldn't find out how much debt churches have when I did a search on that but I'm willing to bet it's not an insignificant sum either. According to the Economist article our household debt is at 126% of disposable income. So while it's popular to scold our government for reckless spending, which I agree with, should we not also be scolding ourselves for reckless spending? In one of the articles I read for this it said that only 7 states require a passing grade in a financial class to graduate high school. So we have a ton of 18 year-olds arriving on college campuses not really knowing how to handle money unless they were lucky enough to be taught by their parents like I was. And what's one of the first things to greet a college student his freshman year? A credit card offer with a free T-shirt attached that usually says COLLEGE or something else clever or stolen from a movie like Animal House. Also, I wonder how many tea-partiers attend mega-churches who are in debt up to their eyeballs. There is a church in Bradenton that just opened a new campus that is going to cost $20 million when it's all said and done. Now, I'm not an insider and maybe they already have that paid off but I highly doubt it. I heard of another church in Sarasota that was in a sticky situation because they weren't able to make their payments on the building and the land they had purchased from the bank. That would sure put the banker in a tough situation, wouldn't it? Are you going to close down a church? Should that church have taken out that big of a loan to begin with? There was a church in Lakewood Ranch near where I used to live that had a big thermometer in their entrance with a goal of $6 million to build a new addition for a worship space. Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with having a building as a church. In fact, some of them can be used to help the community a lot. How many times though, does a worship space which is typically the biggest space in a church, sit empty during the week? We call our people to be good stewards with their money and resources, but are we being good stewards as a church with the resources we're given? How much of the budget is devoted to missions? Is it less than the part of the budget required to pay for the building or land? Can we really claim to be putting others first if it is in fact less? Then there are the end times preachers who preach that the end is near but apparently that isn't enough to stop them from buying ever bigger campuses? If the end times are upon us, then why spend your people's money on a new church building? I remember talking with my buddy Ryan before we started a church and I said I thought one of our goals should be to get our missions budget to 50% of our overall budget. I still have that goal for the church but it will be very hard to get people behind that vision if they're used to attractional church. A lot of people go to church to be fed, and we need people to come to church to be sent out. We need to empower people to be missionaries in their lives whether that's with their kids or at their jobs. If churches and American Christians are in debt like the culture around us, how is that being a peculiar people? How can we be a light if we're so busy paying off ridiculous amounts of debt? Some debt is understandable, but some is just downright foolish. I'm just as guilty as the next American of wanting the latest gadget, but when does it stop? When do we say, "Enough already?" When do we as Christians start truly living out the command 'Love your neighbor as yourself?' You may ask, "What does money have to do with loving my neighbor?" Absolutely everything would be my answer. You put your money somewhere and your heart will follow. You can tell a lot about a person by their checkbooks. And when will we as New Testament believers start seeing a 10% tithe as a floor instead of a ceiling? That's where we should start, not where we should stop or stay at. What if you committed to giving 1% more a year? Not to be legalistic but to just trust God to supply your needs even more. Or, another suggestion by Randy Alcorn, is to decide on a budget of what you can live on and then anything above that you give away. That way, if your income increases substantially you're more likely to increase your standard of giving as opposed to automatically increase your standard of living. How cool and countercultural would that be? That would be a sign of a peculiar people.

Venice, Trieste, Barcelona, and Paris so far

Venice was by far the most expensive city I've been in. Total tourist trap, cool city, but they gouge you for everything. There were definitely some cool things about it, like the complete lack of car noise and taking the water bus along the main canals, I think I was just overwhelmed at how much everything cost there. Went to Trieste to visit my friend Kelly and had a great time there. It was nice to spend time with a friend and fellow American for a change. Had to stay in a hostel when I was in Venice, which certainly added to the price of things. Thankfully, I got to stay for free at Kelly's for a couple of nights so that was a much-welcomed reprieve from paying for lodging.

Next was Barcelona, Espana. My coworkers at Tuttle had warned me to expect them to have a lisp and boy did they ever. Instead of "cinco" euros it was "thinco" euros. No one came through on couchsurfing so I had to hostel it again, which drains me of money and just sucks my soul somehow. I spent a lot of time in the hostel trying not to spend money due to the previous week in Venice taking such a toll on my bank account. My thought was that if I didn't go anywhere than I wouldn't spend any money, and it worked thankfully. I did go on a couple of free walking tours which were great and also saw the famous "Sagrada Familia" by Gaudi which is still in the process of being built. It's absolutely enourmous. I just walked around the outside and was impressed by all the cool architecture. I'll add pictures when I have wifi on my computer (I'm currently using my couchsurfing host's computer for this update.)

A couple of days ago I came over to Paris. I went to Paris in 2007 for a 5-day vacation and loved it so I thought I would come here again. This time it's much colder (last time I came in August) but there are still plenty of really cool sights to make up for the cold. I'm loving it here so far. A couchsurfer came through and he's another great guy who has been a wonderful host...I haven't eaten this well in I don't know how long. My parents were a little hesitant with me coming over due to all the strikes they've been having but I came anyways (they're supposed to strike tomorrow again so we'll have to see how that goes.) Just today alone I went to the Sacre Coeur, Notre Dame, and the Louve. All really impressive stuff and I promise to post photos once I have them downloaded on my computer and have wifi access. There were some really cool street performers in front of Sacre Coeur that I took some video of so I can't wait to post that on facebook when I get a chance. The first guy juggles a soccer ball in a way that would take your breath away. Probably the most impressive was when he was hanging from a light pole with his feet out in front of him juggling like it was nothing...really incredible. The second was a group of break dancers and I don't think I know of anyone who doesn't think that is cool. I really had a great day today and don't know how I will top it tomorrow. Oh, and I saw the Eiffel Tower give a light show like it does every night on the hour for 5 minutes. It's really incredible if you've never witnessed it before.

Well, it's almost 1 am here so I'm going to call it a night. Hope you're all doing well on your side of the world :)

Roma

Again, it appears I've been slacking on the posting of these blogs, sorry about that.

Well, Rome, or Roma as the Italians call it themselves, was absolutely fantastic and by far my favorite place I've been thus far on this trip. The main reason was because of the second couchsurfer I stayed with. His name was Francesco and he was a great host. He struggled with English but his hospitality more than made up for it. We shared many good laughs talking about Roma and its people.

Well, Roma started out less than pleasant. Note to self, when booking a hostel, do NOT go with one that is a hostel/campsite. This means it is somewhere in the woods, far away from the city. It took me a good two hours to reach this place from the airport when I got in on last Monday. Thankfully, a couchsurfer named Luca picked me up for the next couple of nights and I didn't have to go back out to no man's land. Luca was an alright host, but unfortunately he was really busy working or going to his new girlfriend's house. Ironically, I ended up helping to move his current roommate out of his place on Wednesday morning, so that was interesting. I was glad to help but was also thankful when I was excused to go to the city center.

After a couple of nights at Luca's place, I met Francesco in the city center right outside of Station Termini in front of a...you guessed it, McDonald's. You may ask why I chose this spot as McDonald's is one of my least favorite places to go. One thing is true about it though, it's a great and easy landmark to see and meet someone at. It's just too bad it's completely changed the food industry for the worse.

So I drop off my backpack in Francesco's Ford Fiesta and he asks me what I would like to do. I say in response, "Well, I'll let you be the guide." This turned out to be about the best thing I could've said at that point. Francesco KNOWS his city like the back of his hand. We went to a ton of different churches and side streets that I would never have seen as a regular tourist. He even had explanations for certain things, like why Moses was made with horns coming out of his head (it was a misinterpretation of Scripture of when Moses came down off Mt. Sinai.) I also saw the ectasy of St. Theresa which was cool and the brilliant piece of several saints with the centerpiece being Moses again. It is said that Michaelangelo asked the sculpture of Moses when he was finished with it, "Why don't you speak?" Also, there was a statue representing the four winds and legend has it that the competing artist made one figure with his hand shielding his face from the building in front of him because it was made by his rival artist and he was saying how ugly the facade of the building was. In reality, it was built after the statue but it's a fun story nonetheless.

On Saturday afternoon we went out to his place in the northeast of Rome, about an hour outside of the city nestled in this ancient city in the mountains. It was simply gorgeous. The keystone above his entrance to his house said 1590. It was built in 1590! Amazing!!! We hung out in the little town that night, made homemade Italian spaghetti with real tomato sauce, and slept well because we were going to get up and hike with two of his girlfriends in the morning. His two friends met us in the town square the next day and we got into the back of their car and drove to where the trail was. It was a beautiful day for hiking. At first, I thought these older people were going to put me to shame because I hadn't been hiking in I don't remember how long. But as it turned out I put them to shame! Apparently all this walking around cities has me in better shape than I thought! At the top of the trail we got to pick some wild blackberries, simply delicious after a 4 km long hike up a pretty steep mountain. We headed back down the mountain and the ladies came over for a glass of wine and then left. Francesco and I left not too later and were heading our way back to Rome when all of a sudden, BAM! His car dies in the middle of the highway. Thankfully traffic was pretty bad so no one was going fast anyways. However, this had already happened once in the ancient city so I wasn't looking forward to what I knew was coming next. "Please," said Francesco. "Alright," I say less than enthusiastically. So I get out and am pushing this little Ford Fiesta down a Roman highway! haha, crazy! Unfortunately it didn't start for quite some time so I had to push it quite a ways before it cooperated. It definitely made me never want to buy a Ford, I can assure you of that. I'm just thankful it wasn't a huge SUV. Then I really would've been huffing and puffing more than I already was. They really don't have hardly any SUV's over here in Europe, mainly due to the high cost of gas. Yet another reason we need higher gas prices.

We finally make it back to Rome, what took us an hour on the way out took about 3 hours on the way back due to heavy traffic on a Sunday night. Oh, and I also learned that the center white lines make a "scooter lane" which holds pretty true as all the scooters inevitably use it as their lane to pass everyone. The scooter drivers are nuts there, completely fearless.

Needless to say, Roma was my favorite city so far on this trip. The people are loud, the cultural atmosphere is intoxicating, and the food is out of this world! Even though I didn't throw a coin over my shoulder at Trevi fountain I know I'll be back there someday, God willing :)

Vienna and Greece

Just realized I haven't posted for a while, oops.

I spent a week in Vienna and loved it. Had gorgeous weather the first 4 days, followed by rainy weather the last 3, but it was still good. I went to a fantastic symphony orchestra concert of Beethoven's 9th symphony and absolutely loved it. Following that was a famous Viennese cafe with my couchsurfing host for hot chocolate and some chocolate truffle torte, excellent. Vienna was split up into 2 hosts, both of which were great. The first one was a couple who I really connected with, we had a ton of fun. The second one was a Polish woman aged 36 who I enjoyed getting to know as well. Plus she insisted on feeding me every meal, okay, you twisted my arm, I guess I'll let you cook me every meal :) Made me think there might be something to these mail-order brides if they're anything like this haha, jk, kind of.

Went to Athens late Monday night, didn't get to my host's until 12:30 at night, at which point I show up and they're having dinner on the patio, gotta love those Greeks! Got up the next day and spent all day walking around the Acropolis and the National Archaelogical Museum, both of which were truly fascinating. I saw heiroglyphics at the Museum, how sweet is that?! Not to mention the Parthenon is as great as it's made out to be, would definitely recommend it to anyone.

Yesterday I came over to Santorini on a ferry ride. Picked up a scooter today and was super excited about driving a scooter again. Only difference was that this time I had the less-than-great experience of laying my scooter on its side as I wiped out. Haven't been this scraped up since riding bikes as a kid. Oh well, what's life without a few scrapes and bruises along the way, right? Went to a beach this evening and got to see a wonderful sunset, which I forgot to take pictures of, of course. Santorini is beautiful, I'd highly recommend it to anyone looking for a great getaway. By the way, Santorini is the first place where I've had to stay at a hostel. I thought I was going to in Prague but my couchsurfing host let me stay another night. Oh yeah, second host in Prague was way better then the first one, wasn't in the same ballpark. He was an American so it was nice to talk to someone with a similar background.

Well, I can't really think of anything else right now, so I'm going to sign off.

Till next time,

Justin

one week

Well, at this point I've decided spending a week in one city is too much time to spend in one city. Maybe from here on out I'll volunteer in different cities or something. You can truly do only so much sight-seeing before you feel like you've already seen all the main hotspots in a city. This is the point I've reached here in Prague. I've seen a lot, but everything else that I could see costs too much money.

Lately, I've found I really enjoy hanging out in local cafes and reading and journaling to God. It's been really nice to get back in the Word and also spend some extended time in prayer for people back home. I can spend 2 or 3 hours easily in a cafe before I'm ready to move on. I have a Kindle so I have plenty to read, plus I've been getting a copy of The Economist in every airport or train station that I've been in so far so that provides plenty of reading and catching up on current events as well. For whatever reason, I really love The Economist now, maybe that's a sign of growing older. Or just of me being a geek, as one friend so lovingly puts it.

I went on a couple of free walking tours in different parts of Prague on a couple different days so that was fun. On the first tour I met a lovely woman, probably my mom's age, and we talked for the entire 2.5 hour tour. She was an economist, so of course I had plenty of questions for her. She also owned her own business so I was also interested in that as that's something I've considered doing down the road. She told me to enjoy this trip, because I'd probably get snagged by a woman when I get back home. I thought aloud, "Yeah, I probably wouldn't be able to travel a lot if I started dating or ended up marrying a woman." I mean, even if the other person likes to travel, suddenly now it's twice as expensive. Plus they would probably not be down with couchsurfing, which would add enourmous expense to a trip. The only way I'm able to do this trip is because of couchsurfing. Tomorrow I'm staying in a hostel for the first time on this trip, and I will have been traveling for about a month so I'd say that's a pretty good job of getting couches along the way. She also said that if you want your own business to become successful, you basically have to eat, breathe, and live your business. According to her, you can either marry a business or marry someone, but usually not both. I'm sure that's the reason behind a lot of divorces, but in the same breath I know people who either have their own business or are the CEO of a business and still manage to find time for their spouses. At this point I think I'd rather marry a business to be honest. That way I could provide jobs for people in this tough economic climate. I still remember my pastor asking me a couple of years ago what people needed (he was starting a church and wanted to meet needs in the community.) I told him, very simply, that people needed jobs. How cool would it be if a church had a program for either training people with basic job skills or having a database of companies looking for people so when someone came to a church and needed help with a job we could really help them? Just an idea. I have lots of ideas, unfortunately they usually don't gain a lot of traction due to my inability to stick with a project for very long.

I'll be in Australia in a little less than 3 months, and I think I'll be ready to settle down in one place for a while by then. Need to start praying for a job to open up when I get there. I've got the first part down in already having a work/holiday visa so that part is taken care of. Another thing I need to arrange will be renting a flat somewhere in Sydney. I got in touch with a secretary from Hillsong Church and she gave me a list at the time of people looking for renters so I'll be in touch with her again soon so I can look at some options when I get there.

Well, that's all for now. It's been nice catching up with some of you over the last couple of days and hopefully I'll be able to contact more of you either tonight or tomorrow.

German history and a concentration camp

Well, I've been in Berlin for a few days now so I figured it was about time to write again. Relax, it's about my trip this time, for the most part. I don't think I can write a whole post without inserting at least some opinion, lol.

I arrived in Berlin's Tegel airport on Monday night around 9:00 pm and their customs consisted of grabbing my bag and going on to the information desk to buy a 7-day pass for public transportation. No, really, there was absolutely no one who checked my bag and no passport control whatsoever. Maybe that's normal for internal EU flights, I really don't know at this point. I did find it extremely interesting and completely foreign to what I'm used to when I travel anywhere overseas.

The first stop was getting to my couchsurfer's place by successfully following his directions. I'm getting pretty decent at that, which is saying a lot if you know my sense of direction. When I arrive, I'm greeted by a smoky haze caused by 2 girls smoking in the bedroom. 'Great,' I think to myself, 'this is just what I need to sleep tonight.' Then they ask me if I want to 'go out.' 'Sure,' I say, not having any idea what I'm getting myself into. All I know is that if it's anything like 'going out' back home I probably won't enjoy myself as that isn't really my scene. So we go to this techno club with everyone 'dancing' which really consisted of people barely moving, reminded me of when I try and dance. Oh, and we had to say a password so we wouldn't have to pay a cover charge. I tried saying this password for about 10 minutes and the bodyguard laughed and said, "Nice pronunciation." To which I replied, "I've been practicing for 10 minutes!" My couchsurfer's roommate asks me if I want to play table tennis and I think I mishear him. 'Did he just ask me if I want to play table tennis? Where exactly are we supposed to do that here?' Much to my surprise, we go to a back room, again smoke-filled and lo and behold there's a table. Now, I've never seen or played table tennis like what I did that night so I'll try and explain it to you. After getting our paddles, we join in this circle that encompasses the table with about 15 to 20 people walking around it and hitting the ping-pong ball in turn. If you mess up, you have to sit down. Then the last two standing battle it out with a game to 5. Definitely different than what I'm used to and I never got to the final two people standing but I enjoyed myself all the same. It was far better than pretending to enjoy dancing and making terrible small-talk with people who I don't know. After the club, probably around 2:30 or 3 in the morning, we head back to the couchsurfer's house. Thankfully, he left the window in the bedroom open and the smoke had cleared by the time we returned. There were 2 twin beds in the room on the floor, and there were 2 guys and 2 girls, go figure. I got one of the beds, one of the girls got a mat and a sleeping bag, and the other 2 shared a bed. Don't worry, though, they were 'ex-boyfriend and girlfriend,' riiiiiight.

The next day I go to Alexandre-Platz which is a hot-spot for tourists. They have an outdoor exhibition with huge pieces of art with words describing what the scenes were portraying. Being the nerd that I am, I spent 3 hours reading through the whole thing, which discussed the peaceful revolution in East Germany in the 1980's and early 1990. Very interesting stuff I must say. Basically, the East Germans were under communist rule and wanted a democracy like the West Berliners who were separated by a wall. After several desperate attempts to squash the opposition leaders and movement, the East Germans won their democracy, without shooting anyone, imagine that, it is possible. After that, I head back to my couchsurfer's place for the night. At this point, I haven't even opened my big bag because I know I will be switching couchsurfing hosts in a couple of days. That's right, I wore the same outfit for 2 or 3 days straight, I don't even remember at this point. Probably gross to most of you, but they were comfortable clothes so it didn't bother me at all. Also, probably not the only time that will occur on this trip I'm sure.

The next day I wake up and get ready to go to my new couchsurfing host's place. My current couchsurfing host has graciously offered to drive me there which I readily take him up on. Before we go, though, he eats one of my fish-oil pills. Not just swallowed it, mind you, but actually chewed the thing. This is coming from the same guy who informed me he smuggled hashish into the EU from Morocco by sticking it in his, ahem, 'backside.' A weird dude for sure. He was funny though, so that kind of made up for it.

Yesterday, I arrived to my new couchsurfing host's place around noon and set my stuff down and head out as he has a meeting to go to so I need to leave his place. Some couchsurfers give you a key, as the one in London and the one in Amsterdam did, but some of them don't want you home without them being there. Fair enough, so I go out and head to the German Historical Museum. I spend 3.5 to 4 hours in there, because I read about everything they have to offer in the exhibits and find it truly fascinating to go through the whole history of the Germanic people. After that, I go to a cafe and get a coke and relax for a bit as my host told me he wouldn't be home until 11. Then the fun really begins. I text him to let him know I'm on my way and he lets me know he's already home. Perfect, I think, now just to get there. I look at my public transportation map and behold! I find a shortcut to get to his place. Some of you already know where this is going. Well, of course the underground didn't go all the way to the stop I needed it to, so I have to take it back to where I came from. Then other things happen and a half hour journey turns into a 2.5 hour catastrophe, at one point with me thinking to myself, 'Well, I just might have to spend the night in this train station.' I finally get home at around 1:30 in the morning and apologize to my host for being so late. He's astounded that I didn't ask for help. No, no, no, that would make way too much sense. I'd rather try it on my own and fail miserably thank you very much.

Today, I went to a concentration camp just north of Berlin. It was pretty intense, to say the least. It was very sobering as well, to think that 250,000 people had been interned there and 100,000 of them put to death. How could something like that happen in a civilized society? How could God let that happen? These and other questions swirl in my mind as I take in everything from the rebuilt barbed wire fence with an electric fence behind it to the bunks to the camp prison. 6,000,000 Jews were murdered it's generally agreed upon. Some people say it's closer to 5.4 million but either way just an unfathomable act of terror. There were also Roma and Sinti people sent to the camps, which made me think of the article in the Economist that I read last week about Sarkozy kicking out the Roma out of France. Why is it that certain people groups are hated throughout the ages? Particularly the Jews, I can't even begin to imagine. I mean, you've been told your whole life that you're God's chosen people and then something like the Holocaust happens? How does that play out in your faith? Not to mention a history of being slaves to other nations and regularly occupied. Really makes me question the goodness of God. It's not like I'm going to lose my faith or anything, but I don't see how something like going to a concentration isn't supposed to shake you up a bit and make you question what you believe.

I came back tonight to the house and had a great dinner of lasagna. It seems like with some couchsurfers I eat better than I do at home. On top of that, even when I don't eat at a couchsurfer's place I eat out and the portions are so much smaller. It's no wonder I've dropped some weight. Now if I can just keep up the small portions when I get back to the states, that'll be the key.

It occured to me the other day that technically speaking, I'm currently homeless. I put all my stuff in my friends' garages so I didn't have to pay for storage and when I get back 'home' I'm not sure where I'm going to live quite yet. Interesting. So far I've been having an amazing time living off the generosity and hospitality of others, but what do I do when I get back. Oh well, there's plenty of time to figure that out between now and then. It is interesting living out of a backpack though. It hasn't bothered me up to this point, but I'm sure there will come a time when it gets old. Hopefully I'll be in Australia by then and can rent a room in a flat for 3 months to kind of settle down for a bit.

That's all for now, hope you enjoyed!

The results of Christian fatalism

I've been wanting to talk about this topic for quite some time now, so here goes nothing.

In the Christian faith, we believe that Christ will come back someday and replace the existing heavens and earth with a new heaven and a new earth. Now, there's nothing wrong with that and I subscribe to that belief myself. However, a problem arises when we take that to mean that we might as well live however we wish because it's all going to pass away anyways. I've heard several fellow believers say things like, "I'm just not concerned about the environment because it's all going to pass away at the end of time." Along these same lines are the thoughts and motivation behind 20th and early 21st century evangelism. "These days may be awful, but put your hope in Christ and you'll go to heaven when you die." That sort of thing. That kind of evangelism converted 80% of Rwandans to Christ, and then they had the genocide which had Christians killing Christians within their own congregations because of a different tribal descent. I would argue they had been taught an incomplete gospel, which is still being spread today. As Christians, we are to work on bringing the kingdom of God to this earth, here and now, not off in some distant future. If we have nothing to offer people in the here and now then we have nothing to offer them at all. People are in the midst of suffering and the best we can do is, "Well, you don't want to go to hell when you die, do you? Then put your hope in Christ." We need to do better than offer fire insurance. What about the abundant life that Christ promised? Was he not speaking in present tense when he said that? All people will suffer, and Christians even more so since we are to expect persecutions on behalf of Christ. The difference is we are to live a life of abundance that Christ promised right in the midst of all the suffering. I've heard it said that a life lived to the fullest is a life lived for others. I love that. Those who want to lose their life will gain it, that type of thing.

My friend is a summer director for a Christian camp in the middle of Florida. He got a lot of emails/calls of concerned pastors and parents when he said the theme for last summer was going to be "Dirt", talking about creation care. Why would people be upset about that? They were upset about that because they saw Christianity through a myopic lens, one that only focused on the soul and what happens after you die. That type of belief system isn't enough for me. I need one that addresses life in the here and now. A belief system that has something to say to the ills of this world and not just about believers' individual lives. Our churches should effect change in the world around them, not just within their walls. Are our communities better places because of our church's presence in them? To quote someone else, I forget who now, "Would anyone object if the city came and closed down your church, besides your own members?" We need to wrestle with these issues.

Evangelism has to be about more than handing someone a tract and telling them they are going to hell without Jesus. We have to meet peoples' needs. The gospel is to be good news to the poor. How is it good news if we hand someone a tract and they are still homeless? Especially if we have a spare bedroom in our homes that isn't being used. We need to bring a gospel that effects the whole person and the people around them, not just their souls.

Anyways, I rant. Sorry for those of you who thought this was going to be a blog solely about my world adventure. It's also a blog about thoughts I have on certain things. I didn't mean to mislead anyone.

couchsurfing and travelling

It's been a while since I last posted so I thought I'd give it a whirl again. There have been several times in the last few days where I have thought, 'Ooh, I should blog about that' but alas, as with many things in my life, they have been left unaccomplished. I'll try to update this more often, and I ask you to have patience with my absent-mindedness when I forget.

London turned out to be wonderful, the last couple of days it was mostly cloudy with only a little rain. I ended up going to Stonehenge and Cambridge on my last couple of days in England. Stonehenge was breath-taking, simply has to be seen in person to be truly appreciated. My newly found couchsurfing friend, Aaron, and I laughed at all the people who were jumping for pictures. They'd try to get the timing right of course, but this usually took several tries and in the mean time the ones who were out of shape were having quite a difficult time continuing jumping. This doesn't mean I would've done any better mind you, I just know not to jump a lot anymore because I'll get unnecessarily winded and only have a stupid picture to show for it. I went on a 'punting' tour in Cambridge, where you sit in a canoe-like boat while a 'punter' stands on the back of the boat and propels it forward by using a wooden or metal pole. You don't go very fast, but that's really not the point of punting. He gave commentary as we went so it was interesting to hear about all the different colleges and how they came into being. Unfortunately it rained for about half the trip which made it a 'shame' as the Brits who I was sitting with kept calling it. Afterwards I went to the King's College Chapel which was quite inspiring. A ton of stained glass, and the largest vaulted fan ceiling in the world. My only real regret about Cambridge was that I wasn't able to stay longer, I had to be back in time for my couchsurfing host's evangelistic service at church.

My couchsurfing host was a devout Christian, and I was inspired to live more for Christ on a daily basis by being around him, something I hope to inspire in others as well. His church was quite interesting and definitely different from the church that I go to back home (shout out to all you Creekers, you know who you are.) They sang hymns with an organ, and not just hymns but 17th and 18th century hymns, by people such as John Wesley and Martin Luther, among many others. Some would argue that the old hymns have more depth than today's worship songs and after singing some of them, I don't necessarily agree with them. The main difference is more verses and words, but essentially a lot of the verses say the same thing, just with different words. Modern worship repeats the same words over and over again, allowing you to really concentrate on the meaning of the words and ideally enter into a more worshipful experience. Often though, the songs go on, and on, and on, as my parents used to lament after church when I was growing up. We would laugh about who counted how many times we would sing the chorus to many of the songs. Obviously you have moved past a worshipful experience at this point and are either irritated or glad to practice singing. My hats are off though to those of you who can worship for the entire time, I really wish I could but I simply can't, either because I'm just not spiritual enough or because I have adult ADHD. My psychiatrist assures me that it's simply the fact that the symptoms of bipolar and ADHD overlap, but I wonder as I often have a hard time concentrating on one thing for very long, as this blog can attest to. Now, what was I talking about again? haha

Richard was my couchsurfing host in London, and he was great. Very hospitable like all couchsurfers and opened his home to the stranger as we're commanded to do in Scripture (can I say that being a couchsurfing host is commanded by Scripture? Probably not, but I think it's safe to say in the states that Christians need to be better practioners of hospitality than most of us currently are.) He was confused at the notion of how Aaron (another couchsurfer who stayed there and also happened to be American, and taking a round the world trip, and starting in London, and from Florida, weird, but anyways) and I would use the word 'awesome' to describe seemingly ordinary things, such as public transportation. We said that was our culture, to say awesome all the time and to exaggerate in general. It makes life better, and stories way more interesting, oops, there I go exaggerating again, haha. He made us this stuff called Holix, which helped me to get to sleep since I was fighting jet lag so badly. He also made us traditional English porridge, known more commonly in the USA as oatmeal. I've never been a fan of oatmeal, and still don't like it, but I at least ate most of it as not to be rude. Richard lived with 6 others, according to him, who all came from different walks of life but shared a common faith. As those of you who know me can imagine, I loved staying there for a week as it was something that was right up my alley.

Yesterday I arrived in Amsterdam after a short 40 minute flight and was amazed at how quickly I got through security. In London it took two hours to get through security whereas in Amsterdam it only took probably less than 5 minutes. The passport control officer barely looked at me before he stamped my passport and sent me on through to get my luggage. Another thing I forgot to mention, apparently my bag doesn't count as a carry-on, d'oh! So now I have to pay those annoying checked bag fees which I've managed to avoid for the most part on my travels, usually only carrying a backpack for trips of a week or less. Admittedly, I'm a little ashamed that I couldn't fit it all into a carry-on, but in the same breath they let me use it as a carry-on from Sarasota to New York City.

Karl is my host in Amsterdam, and he's awesome! He's really funny, having what he refers to as Dutch sarcasm. I remember that a little from my time here in '07, and I remember enjoying it thoroughly then as well. I'm sleeping on an air-mattress this time around, last time in London it was an actual bed. In both places I lucked out with getting a room all to myself, which my mom will say is a very good thing since I tend to 'spread out' as she calls it. Probably each of my former roommates would say the same thing, I guess we all have our flaws :) We have talked quite a bit about politics and healthcare since I've arrived. As many of you know, I love to talk politics, although this time it's with someone I agree with, in the states it's usually with people I disagree with, which makes it a little more fun and animated. Is it really any surprise that I agree with a European on politics more than Americans in general, at least the Americans I associate with? I'll try not to dive too deeply into politics right now, as I like to save that for little bits here and there, sometimes a little more than a 'bit.' We had pizza tonight, and laughed when we were in Albert Hein (their national grocery store) and saw the difference between an 'Italian' pizza and an 'American' one. One was even called the 'Big American' as a title of the pizza, hilarious. We opted for the Italian one, probably a good choice since I need to watch my weight. Tonight he asked me who my favorite singers were and I told him Jack Johnson and Ben Harper. To this he replied, "Is Jack Johnson the one associated with the monkey movie?" "Yes, if you're referring to Curious George." haha He hadn't heard of Ben Harper so he pulled him up on a website and I've been listening to him through his great sound system ever since. Meanwhile Karl has gone to bed but the blog calls for me to stay up a little bit.

Travelling is a big part of me, and probably always will be. I love experiencing other cultures, although sometimes I do listen to my I-pod just to hear some English speaking people if nothing else. What is it about travel that lures me in like a fish attracted to worms? I think it's just the different and 'out of the ordinary' that comes with it. For whatever reason I tend to thrive in these situations where I'm dropped in a country and need to find my way around. That's one of the few things I would argue I'm decent at. For this, my life is deeply enriched. During the housing market crash I was tempted to buy a house. It was basically a decision between that and this trip, and I couldn't be happier with my decision. Who wants to take care of a house when you can travel the world for 8 months instead? :) Actually, I know quite a few people who would seemingly rather that, at least that's where their money goes if that says anything, which it usually does. Nothing wrong with owning a house, mind you, it's just not for me at this point in my life. It seems like the more stuff you have the more you have to worry about, so I like to keep it simple and have a car and relatively few other possessions when compared to most other people that I am around. It's different, I know, but it works for me and I love it.

jet lag

Well, it's 6:10 am and I haven't fallen asleep yet, so I guess the best thing is just to stay up the rest of the day and then sleep tonight hopefully. This jet lag is killing me. I now remember last time I went to Europe it took me about 5 days to adjust to the time difference. Oh well, yesterday was a really good day. Wanna hear about it? Good, I thought you did :)

Went to the National Gallery and the National Portrait Gallery on Trafalgar Square. Personally, I liked the National Portrait Gallery better than the National Gallery. They had an exhibit on the road to the 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games that are going to be in London. It was interesting because it had photographs of different athletes and people who had worked behind the scenes to get the Olympics to come to London. I liked it because it shared a part of their story next to the portrait. I love hearing people's stories. Not sure what it is, but I find it absolutely intriguing to hear where people have been and where they want to go in the future. There were also other floors with different portraits of famous people throughout England's history. I didn't find those nearly as interesting, but it got me thinking along the lines of, 'What is my life going to count for when it's all said and done?' Is it going to be worth anything to anyone besides myself? I certainly hope so. I also people watched out of a cafe today which got me thinking along the same lines of there are so many people and so many stories to be told.

After going to the galleries, I went to St. Martin in the Fields church for a concert. It was Mozart's Requiem and also a world premeire of another conductor's piece. It was absolutely phenomenal and well worth the 10 pounds that I paid to get in. The violinist was very impressive as well as the chamber choir blending with the orchestra. A few times I would just close my eyes and try to soak in the moment and capture the beauty with my ears. It was simply magnificent.

I went to a cafe today called Petra and was really encouraged to see their commitment to sustainability and good wholesome food. Instead of just a garbage bin they had a few different slots and had the statement above that 96% of their packaging was recyclable. Obviously this stood out to me as that's a pretty bold claim. I think they would probably do a really good business in America as we're also going that way as a society. England seems to be ahead of us in the green movement, as is the rest of Europe from what I remember. Hopefully we can catch up in the near future. It's going to take the right policies though, which seems to be beyond our state and federal governments on just how to do that. And now corporations can support politicians with unlimited funds? How is that democratic? Corporations have an ungodly amount of money and now they get to back politicians with those dollars? I really hope that's overturned soon as that is going to undermine our political process and democracy even further than it already is. It'll stand if the corporate-hugging Republicans have anything to say about it though.

Today I'm going to go to Greenwich and see the international date line so that should be cool. Also planning on going to Westminster Abbey and that whole area over there, just need to get proper directions, as they say here in England. My couchsurfer host Richard told me there's a boat tour that goes from Greenwich to Westminster Abbey that would be worth the ride as they have commentary along the way and it's a good scenic route that's a little different than the usual walking tour. In a couple of days I plan on making a day trip to Cambridge to check out some of the history there.

Hope you're all doing well back in the states!

goodbye

Well, the day has finally come...August 22nd, the day I take off for my round the world trip! It's been really hard this last week saying goodbyes, especially to my friends' kids. Admittedly, I got rather choked up when I said goodbye to Josh and Missy's kids last night and Ryan and Lori's kids this afternoon. They hold such a special place in my heart. It's hard enough to say goodbye to my friends, but my friends' kids have really worked their way into my heart in a big way. I don't know what it is about kids, but I envy them. They are so happy and care-free it seems like. Saying this, I realize from seeing it many times firsthand, that kids aren't always care-free as they can shed a lot of tears sometimes. During the times when they're happy, though, you can't wipe the smile off their little faces. It seems like I've lost that to a degree. The ability to truly live in the moment and soak in all that life is giving you right then, right there. More often then not, my mind is distracted with other things while I'm physically present somewhere else. With kids however, their whole being is thrown into the moment they find themselves, they simply don't know any different. It's a fascinating thing to watch, really, to see them live in the moment with reckless abandonment. I'm thankful that their parents are able to provide a safe and loving environment for them to become the person God created them to be. It's been an honor to watch my friends' kids grow up, and I look forward to getting back to that when I return.

Well, I've managed to pack my life for the next 8 months into a carry-on backpack and a little backpack, which I'm going to refer to as my small personal item if they ask me about it. That's crazy when I think about it, everything I need is in a backpack, and my electronic goods in the smaller backpack. I pack pretty light as it is, but this is pretty impressive even for me :) This backpack will be my life for 8 months, wow, interesting, isn't it? How many of you could pack your life into a carry-on backpack and a small personal item? Of course, as many of you already know, I'm not the most normal person to begin with, so maybe this just fits that idea. This backpack will see a lot of couches on this trip, as I'm going to try and couchsurf most of the time I'm overseas.

My trip will cover 6 continents if you count my starting point and ending point as North America. Well, gotta go, my plane's leaving...I better not be late for this trip!

How Often Is the Gas Tax Raised? Most Americans Have No Clue

How Often Is the Gas Tax Raised? Most Americans Have No Clue

gas tax

The average state and federal tax on gas combined is 47.7 cents per gallon. What's scarier is the fact that the federal gas tax has been unchanged at 18.4 cents per gallon since 1993! See above post for a link to that info. Also in the above article it states that 60% of Americans think the federal gas tax increases every year. It doesn't even change for inflation, which means that 18.4 cents per gallon does a lot less towards rebuilding infrastructure today then it did in 1993. Gas is about $2.67 per gallon in Sarasota today, depending on where you fill up.

How do we expect to get off fossil fuels if we continue to fill up for incredibly cheap prices? We'll only get off fossil fuels this way when the demand starts to exceed the supply. I would argue we need a much higher gas tax in order to ween us off oil sooner than later. As my friend Tim put it, we didn't run out of stones before the Stone Age ended. Look what happened back in 2008 when gas went up to $4 a gallon. People started car pooling more, biking to work more, using public transportation more and even selling gas guzzling SUV's in order to get more fuel efficient cars. Demand went up for hybrid cars and demand went down for SUV's. Desperation leads to innovation. If gas goes up in price dramatically we will find alternative modes of transportation and learn how to get more bang for our buck with gas, i.e. much higher miles per gallon in our cars and trucks.

Now, some obvious problems arise with this. I read a book called Naked Economics that described what some of these problems would be as creative destruction. The idea is that as we move off of a certain technology there will basically be growing pains along with it. One of the creative destruction things along with getting off gas would be learning how to retrain mechanics to work on electric cars and hybrids rather than just your typical gas powered car like they do now. Obviously, this is doable, but would probably involve a pretty steep learning curve. Another problem is the car batteries found in electric cars include quite a bit of mercury, so we would have to put investment towards finding either a way of recycling that mercury once the battery is finished or how to make a battery without mercury to begin with. Another thing, and this is perhaps the hardest pill for me to swallow, is that it would effect poor people on a much higher percentage of their income than rich people. Maybe this could be offset by offering discounts on public transportation passes based on income level. The other problem, is that with making more electric cars are we just increasing our dependence on other fossil fuels such as coal? How would we incentivize towards getting off of coal for electricity at the same time? One suggestion is a Feed In Tariff, which Germany has successfully implemented to move towards a much higher renewable energy production.

I used to believe that Americans would want to get off oil just because it was the right thing to do. Now I realize that beyond environmentally conscious people and Christians who believe in creation care, this will simply not happen. Unfortunately, the only thing that really speaks to most Americans is what effects their pocketbooks. Rather than get off oil, we have many politicians, Republicans mainly but even some Democrats, who want to expand our offshore drilling. And this is after the BP disaster! Are you kidding me?! So not only will we run the risk of more oil spills (sure, we can increase the chance that it won't happen but the only sure way of not having an oil spill is by not drilling for it in the first place) but we will also prolong getting off oil due to the obvious consequence that gas will stay cheap or possibly get even cheaper? And this is coming from people who claim to have the best interests of their children in mind? How is raping the earth even further having the best interests of your children in mind? So we can live how we want now and in essence say "Screw you" to our children when we run out of fossil fuels and they're stuck having to find alternatives when all along we had the brains and technology to get off fossil fuels but simply lacked the will to make for a smoother transition? Are we really that reactionary as to not be proactive at all? Really?

camp, giving, connecting

Well, it's 4:30am and I can't sleep. This is probably not a good thing since it's the first full day of camp in a few hours but when you can't sleep you can't sleep. I'm going to share my testimony tonight which should be interesting. I think they said I have 15 minutes. How am I supposed to fit 18 years of following Christ into a 15 minute talk? I should probably prepare because if I don't it'll turn into a half hour easy. So far my campers are awesome. We were only a few minutes later than the 10:30 curfew and they went to sleep right away with no one really talking. It's good to see old friends too at camp and hopefully make some new ones as well. I've been having a hard time getting my heart right for this week. Josh told us to pray and really prepare our hearts for this week but I've neglected the heart part of that. I've prayed a little bit about it, but my heart has been distracted with other things.

Women have played a key role in this, which is usually what distracts my heart to be honest. I recently broke my streak of not kissing a woman for 3.5 years so it's weird having thoughts about that aspect of a relationship again. Not that the aforementioned woman and I have anything close to a relationship, we don't, it's merely a friendship, but I simply refer to the fact that I haven't kissed someone in so long I had forgotten what it was like. It seems as though my friend described it best when he said, "Justin, I think you try to be a good boy so much of the time and then sometimes you're just like f#$!@ it, I want some action." Sometimes I have these sudden uncontrollable urges and given the right situation I will fall every time. Not sure how do gain self-control for those situations or even if I'm necessarily supposed to, perhaps the key is to avoid those situations altogether. But as a dog returns to its vomit, so I continue to go back to places that I know will get me into trouble. Not that kissing is a bad thing at all, but you should at least be in some type of relationship or about to start one if you're going to go down that road.

Thankfully, the last couple of days and especially last night/this morning while I was lying wide awake in bed I've been able to pray for this week of camp and particulary my campers. That has made it easier to transition into an expectancy of what God is going to do in the lives of the campers and the staff alike. Josh and Matt talked about expectations and perhaps the best expectation to have this week is to see God move. Sometimes I close myself off to the movements of God but my life is never better for it.

Yesterday at church I gave a little talk on giving. It was decent I think, and pray that it got through to the audience. I originally wanted to come at it hard and almost get fired up but I didn't end up going that route. Instead I talked about how worship could be defined as growing in your love for God in the areas of your heart, mind, soul, and strength. If you want your heart to grow in love for God, then you should put some treasure towards it. Where your treasure is, there will your heart be too. What a true and fascinating statement. Put money towards your house, and you will clean, maintain, and repair it because you care about it. Put money towards your boat and you will take care of it. Put money towards your education and you will value it. Put money towards the things of God, and your heart will grow in love towards God. Many times, the things of this world get in our way of seeing and experiencing God. We covet more and more stuff until we forget where it all came from. Maybe there's something to the fact that whenever I go overseas to 3rd world countries, I notice that the people who have nothing seem to be a lot happier than the people I know back home who have more than enough. Just a thought there. They are also a lot more generous with the little they do have, always serving you their very best food and inviting you into their home, no matter if it's only a tent or a mud hut. They want to serve you, we have a lot to learn from them. Maybe we shouldn't pity them so much as they should pity us. I mean, we have everything you could ask for, every modern convenience, and yet depression has swept our land like the plague. It has swept most industrialized countries as well, as our new availability of connectedness actually disconnects us from the people around us. We're honed into our technology and our own little world while the real world around us cries for our involvement. There are hurting people all around us, and we're too distracted to see it.

I could go on here, but I've written enough for one night and need to at least lay down and try to get some sleep, even if I'm unable to. Not sure why I'm up like this, maybe it has to do with the phases of the moon :)

Yours,

Justin

1 Peter 4:10 "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."

This was the verse we went over last Sunday at my pastor's house. Below is my own version/summary of what the verse is saying.

"You have been gifted for a reason. It is not so you can get ahead in life or climb the ladder or step on others to achieve your goals. You have been gifted to serve others. Your gifts are for the benefit of those around you. This is one of the greatest ways you can love your neighbor as yourself. Give of yourself, give of your gifts, give God's grace. Give all of you to others."

We need to be a people that asks how can we serve others. So many times I see in my own life and the life of Christians around me a concern only for oneself or one's immediate family. This is not what we are called to, though. We are called to serve others. Some people are incredibly gifted by God and sadly use that giftedness to their own profit. Others are incredibly gifted and recognize it as a gift from God and use it to change the world. Which will you be?

Personally, I'm at a point of change now. I'm taking a year off from my current job. Part of that time will be spent traveling around the world with a buddy and a friend of his. I'm extremely looking forward to this. For this summer and the time after the trip, though, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I've been saving up a lot of money, but I don't know how long it will last when I'm not making any income. It should be enough to get me through the trip, but what about the summer and the time after the trip? Then there's the question of what do I want to do with my life. I've been an elementary teacher now for 5 years. I enjoy it overall, but lately it seems like the only reason I'm in it is for all the vacation it provides. Plus it pays pretty well for a single guy and has really good benefits. Are all those valid reasons to go back to a job though? I don't think so. A large part of me wants to go into international development somehow. Not sure what that would look like as of now. I could join NMSI, a missions agency down in Ft. Myers, and get my feet wet down there. I could go to Eastern University first and get my master's degree in international development and then see where that leads me. Another option is to go live in Australia for a year just for the heck of it. Does every decision have to have a reason behind it? What if I just want to be adventurous for a year of my life? Part of me is scared to change. All I've known is teaching for the past 5 years. Can I even do another job? Would I be good at it? If I became a missionary would I be able to raise the support? My pastor has made up about 5 different jobs for me to work at the church but I really don't want to work for a church. He sees a lot of potential in me that I don't see though, so maybe he could help develop that in me.

What are my gifts? How can I use them to serve others? I don't know. That's something I need to do some thinking on. We were given a paper at a small group a little while ago that had six different categories of people and we were supposed to put which one we thought we resembled the most. I'm 27 and had no idea. The only thing I knew was that the last two didn't describe me at all. As far as the other four I really wasn't sure which one described me. So much for knowing yourself.

Well, it's getting late and I'm going to bed now.

Bye