Happy Fall Y'all

Stef has these little book stacks she makes and the most recent ones say, "Happy Fall Y'all."  It's hard not to remember our disaster of a fall last year.  We had a miscarriage in September of last year, and a fire in the apartment above our's in October (which consequently meant we lost 75% of our things to smoke and/or water damage).  Both were traumatic events and did some real damage on us both.  I was a bit surprised when I saw her start decorating things and claiming fall as her favorite season.  It always has been, but I would've thought after last year that was the end of those sentiments.

However, our hope has been renewed.  We're pregnant again and God willing will deliver in mid December sometime.  We have a new to us house (built in '67 I believe) that fits us well as a family with room to grow later this year.

Yesterday we went to a farm near here in Shelbysville and had a wonderful time.  I'll let you check out the pics my wife will inevitably post if she hasn't already  :)  It was so much fun; we went on a couple train rides, a hay ride, picked a few pumpkins, jumped on a 'jump pillow', fed goats and a baby calf and Stef got some apple cider donuts to make it officially fall in the Hemming household.  It was a wonderful day and we had some great bonding time as a family.  Something about being outside has a tendency to bond us, doesn't it?

So, while we came into this season I experienced a bit of dread, I'm now embracing it for all its beauty.  You can't live in 'what-ifs' all your life nor should you.  I had to remind myself of the futility of that way of thinking recently and have been able to be much more present as a direct result.  I hope we all have a happy fall y'all this year  :)  

Hope for Health

If you've followed me on this blog or on some YouTube videos I did back at the beginning of the year, you know I've struggled with weight for some time.  More specifically, health on the whole.  I'm not super huge, but I also find comparing yourself to others to be quite futile.  What is more useful, is comparing yourself to you when you were healthy, assuming you have been healthy at one point in your past.

For me I've been healthy most of my life.  Then, I got lazy for some reason in regards to my health.  My diet has never been outstanding although it's gotten much better in my adult life as a married man than when I was single and didn't cook hardly at all.  In your 20's though you can rely on a crazy high metabolism to overcome a poor diet, in particular if you're active like I was.

A couple years ago I lost a bunch of weight in a short amount of time (about 20-25 pounds in 3-6 months) because we were having a kid and I decided I needed to be healthy for him again.  We went part time vegan is what I called it, vegan during the week and then ate meat a couple of times on the weekend.  Then we went part time vegetarian, so a little less strict.  Then we moved back to the states and that diet plan went out the window.

I can remember having abs for the first time in years and thinking of a trainer from my past telling me getting your abs to show was all diet.  He was right, I did no ab work but yet my abs were defined.  They definitely weren't strong but were defined all the same.

In the states though diet is much more difficult to keep up.  We did live in Spain after all, a country who practices mostly the Mediterranean diet (not everyone eats jamon as you might expect, at least not nearly as often as is portrayed in media.)  Now we live in America, home of the SAD diet - Standard American Diet.  We have become quite accustomed to this diet ourselves, and sadly it is about the worst diet for one's health that has ever been imagined.

I had all but given up until recently.  I tried one of those supplement programs back in March with a 30 day detox and just couldn't stick with it after 4 short days.  Now I've signed up for a nutrition challenge for 6 weeks.  It's similar, but without all the expensive supplements and with group accountability.  For me the bigger incentive is if you break the diet besides cheat day you have to do 50 burpees.  I don't believe I can even do 50 burpees physically so that's a great motivation to not break it except on cheat days.

I also went to my first ever CrossFit class on Friday and enjoyed it.  It's intense to be sure, but I like getting a good sweat in and feeling it the next day.  As someone wise once said, "If nothing changes, nothing will change."  Sounds stupid simple, but sometimes that's what I need most.  Something so stunningly simple that you can't find a way around the truth of it.

Father's Day, Times 2

It occurred to me today just how much my life has changed recently.  Last night, on a Saturday night mind you, Stef fell asleep on the couch before 10pm and all I wanted to do was fall asleep myself.  Not that we ever went out on the town much but man, feeling old lately.  Or maybe just like a dad.

6 years ago I was still living a bachelor life.  Now I have a wife and a 2 year old with another due in December.  Life has changed in so many ways and now I am so much better off than I was as a single guy.  My singleness was great don't get me wrong, I traveled the world and had the time of my life.  But this chapter is different, richer, sweeter.

I have more responsibility, infinitely more.  Once upon a time I thought that was the last thing I wanted.  I remember pitying guys who I thought were addicted to wanting responsibility.  Some guys just wanted to get married and settle down and I didn't understand why.  My spirit was a wandering one to be sure.

Now that I have responsibilities, I appreciate the weight of it.  I appreciate providing for the needs of my family.  I am grateful for the gifts God has entrusted into my hands, my wife, my son, and my soon to be baby in December.  There is more stress involved with this chapter of my life but it is so much sweeter.

I am excited and scared at the prospect of another baby in December.  I have no idea how we will manage, but i also didn't know how I'd manage to be married nor how I'd manage having the first kid.  But with God all things are possible.  As a good Father He blesses His children with incredibly good gifts.  And I will be forever grateful.

#BlackLivesMatter and My Silence

It has happened again.  More unarmed black people have been murdered and it's been in the news again.  Last time it happened I thought I should just stay silent on the issue since I'm a missionary and am not supposed to post anything political according to some fundraising books.  However, unjust murders aren't really a political thing so much as a biblical thing as someone reminded me lately.  Honestly though, many 'political issues' are 'biblical issues' we just don't choose to see them that way.  But that's for another post some other day.

I have seen people lament that 'they (meaning black people) should protest peacefully.'  Yet when NFL players protested peacefully by kneeling for the national anthem that wasn't the 'right' way to protest peacefully.  Huh?  Yeah, I'm confused too.  We (white people) say if there are protests than they need to be peaceful but yet when people do protest peacefully we're not satisfied with that either.  

I had a conversation with someone a few years ago about the kneeling in particular and pointed out that it was in reaction to a black man being murdered by a cop.  They acknowledged that case had been wrong clearly for about a minute and then spent the next 10 minutes describing why kneeling for the national anthem was so terrible.  Apparently ideologies are more important than people's lives nowadays.

I feel paralyzed at what I could possibly do to help the situation.  I can share social media posts and blog about it, but beyond that I'm not sure.  I suggested to my wife that we start attending a black church even though we really like our current church.  If we're serious about race reconciliation as a nation then it has to start in our own hearts and lives.

We've made friends with immigrants here who have since moved and loved them to pieces.  My wife and I both have a heart for the immigrants among us but perhaps we need to spend more time initiating relationships with people of any color that are born here too.

I went jogging again last night without the slightest hint of any fear of being gunned down.  That is something I will literally never have to worry about.  Why can't the same be said of everyone?  Why should people of another race have to think twice before lacing up to go out for a jog?

Years ago I read a quote that really resonated with me.  "The purpose of freedom is to create it for others."  Don't ask me who said it because I don't remember and it seems like a quote that is probably attributed to several people.  You know the problem with that quote though?  I've done nothing to create freedom for others.  And so, my silence as a white man of privilege is complicity with a system that is unjust to so many people of color.

It's sad to think I've been worried about my own support levels going down as I've written this.  Lord, forgive me for putting others' opinions ahead of doing what's right.  

So, what's the next step here?  Any suggestions?  I'm going to start by praying for new friends who are people of color.  People who I can come alongside and learn from their perspective and help in whatever little way I might be able to.  Mostly though I just want to listen and empower.  That's what I feel is my role as a missionary in the Dominican Republic is to listen and empower by helping provide jobs down there and my role just as a Christian period.  Listen and empower others to do whatever they want to do that honors God.

Hacking Your Tastes

Sometimes I go about habit change the entirely wrong way, as do many well-intentioned people who wish to change whichever behavior that seems to keep tripping them up.  Any time you say, "Don't do this or stay away from that" you're setting yourself up for failure.  Your inner rebel will go nuts as you take away your autonomy or someone else takes away your autonomy.  Human beings need autonomy.

Recently I've started playing around with a few new ideas.  What if I increase my tastes for good food and water instead of just trying to say no to all the food that has obviously negative consequences if consumed on a regular basis.  I'm not there yet to be sure, but I did find today that I liked my soda water better than the mountain dew I drank.  And that's only after 1 week of trying to drink 100 ounces of water a day.  So, I think if I continue to be consistent that should help change that taste preference.  I made it 6 out of 7 days this past week as far as drinking 100 ounces of water, hopefully will make it all 7 days this next week.

I've also committed to brushing my teeth at 8pm.  The only thing I want to drink or eat after brushing my teeth is water.  For me, eating badly usually happens after dinner and after David goes down for the night.  I eat badly at other times too of course but that's usually consistently when it's the worse.  Again, made it 6 out of 7 days so that's a great start for this habit to really take shape.

After a couple more weeks, I want to start purposefully eating more fruits and vegetables.  Thankfully I have an awesome wife who cooks healthy dinners all the time but I would say I need to be more purposeful about eating enough fiber from fruit and veg that I don't have room or the taste for processed food throughout the rest of the day.  I'm going to aim for 5 a day eventually.  I usually get 2 in at breakfast already with a smoothie so that seems attainable at least.

Hacking my tastes isn't going to be easy and will be done in baby steps.  But I have to have hope that I can keep it up.  Otherwise, I may as well just throw in the towel which I'm not willing to do at this point.

Livin' Your Best Life

As I mindlessly scroll through Facebook or Instagram sometimes I often come across pictures with captions, "Livin' their best life."  They're usually hilarious and about people's kids, a thankful reprieve from politics.  Usually if someone posts something politically minded I unfollow them anyway, even though I used to post a ton about politics as a younger man.  There have been a few slips in the past few years but generally I stay away from entering discussions where I believe most people already have their minds made up anyway.

Scrolling mindlessly obviously isn't the best use of my time, I've read studies saying it increases your discontentment more often than not.  Be that as it may, sometimes especially on the weekend evenings I get bored.  I have been exercising more as of late but I'm not exactly training for an Ironman so it doesn't take up hours of my time.  During this weird time of quarantine too it's tough to find enough to keep me occupied sometimes.  I even took up sewing yesterday, what??!!

A small group I'm a part of is going through a study of Philippians and I'm reminded once more of the upside-down nature of God's kingdom.  Our culture screams that it's all about ourselves and our wants, needs and desires.  If we just buy this product or take that vacation, then we will finally be satisfied.  

Everything comes up short though, doesn't it?  The vacation that took our breath away is remembered through rose-colored glasses as we trudge through our mundane day to day existence.  Even people who travel more as a lifestyle grow bored with it after a while.  Trinkets satisfy for a short time as well, even the amazing home reno shows or people who buy their dream homes soon find flaws that make it less than perfect and are magnified as time goes by.

We keep trying to fill our soul's desires with things or experiences that satisfy for shorter and shorter periods of time as we get older.  God, on the other hand, invites us deeper by a way of which at first seems rather counterintuitive.  Philippians 2:3,4 admonishes us to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in humility consider others above ourselves; not looking to our own interests but to the interests of others.

Elsewhere in Scripture Jesus teaches us it's better to give than receive.  We are taught to Love God above all else and love our neighbor as ourselves.  So, one place we're told to love our neighbor as ourselves and another to put their interests above our own.

All of these point to a central idea that we're not the point.  In a culture that assures us we are the point with self-actualization being something to attain at all costs, it's a rather freeing idea, isn't it?  We can be free of worrying about what others think of us because we're focused on serving God and His people.

Our best lives are not achieved when we climb the corporate ladder, take the fanciest vacation with mouse ears or to the most exotic location, or when we finally buy our dream home.  Our best lives are only lived with Christ at the center and a humility that puts others' needs ahead of our own.  

We all know one or a few if we're lucky that live this way.  Fulfilled lives and deeply satisfied who have a way of making whoever they're talking to seem like the center of their attention.  They're fully present wherever they are, paying someone actual full attention that even the best teachers can't seem to garner from their students.

Their lives are poured out for God and others, and they're almost intoxicating to be around.  They have a zest for life most of us only dream about.  We search for answers to life's deepest questions while they seem to have found something the rest of us are blind to.  They actually follow the teachings of Jesus and as a result live their best lives daily.  It's of course not easier than the average life, but it is better lived.

May we all aspire to lead such lives, ones that have Christ at the center and put others' needs ahead of our own.  Then, and only then, will we truly be living our best lives.

Weight Loss: A New Strategy

Over the past several years, I've tried various approaches to losing weight.  One worked really well but was difficult to keep up once we came back to the states.  That was what I termed 'part-time vegan or part-time vegetarian' after a while.  I lost 25 pounds I think and really liked how I looked.  I had a 5 pack even for a while (even in my best shape I've never had a 6 pack for some reason, one ab refuses to split lol).  It wasn't a strong 5 pack since I didn't do any ab exercises but the definition was there nevertheless.  

Then we came back home and had 3 months of travel on the road where we simply ate what supporters offered and the weight came back slowly but surely.  After those initial 3 months of 2019 I just stayed lazy in my eating and especially started drinking Mountain Dew again, which I've lovingly referred to as my 'sauce.'  I've never been much of an alcohol drinker minus the occasional sweet alcoholic drink but man, soda is my preferred drink and arguably way worse than alcohol in terms of what it does to your body.  A beer a day versus a soda a day, I'm pretty sure soda would be worse for your health in the long run.

As recently as February, I tried a 30 day cleanse which was super expensive (almost doubled our grocery budget) and proved to be too strict for me to follow.  I only lasted 4 days which was quite discouraging.  Other people do great on 30 day cleanses and lose weight fast.  However, many of them if you follow them long-term gain the weight back and some even put on more weight.  This one had a follow-up diet but again, one that seemed super strict and not sustainable for most people.

After that failure, I just got down on myself and felt like a failure myself rather than just that I simply failed at something.  This happens a lot in my life, where I view myself as the failure rather than simply failing at something.  They can be quite difficult to separate in one's mind, at least in my case.

So, I'm going to be trying something way different than what I've tried before.  In short, it's a strategy called 'mini-habits' and I've read a book by the same title as well as one titled Mini Habits for Weight Loss.  The basic idea is anything with a number of days in the title is probably not going to do you much good long term.  7 day cleanse, 14 day detox, 21 day weight loss plan, 30 day cleanse with a promise of sustainable change afterward.

The author's approach is much easier and makes much more sense to me.  He talks about how we need a strategy that is something we can do every day for the rest of our lives.  Nothing is off limits, since we often rebel against arbitrary rules.  'Don't think of a pink elephant' and you're naturally going to think of a pink elephant.  Similarly, "Don't eat any added sugars" and you're naturally going to crave natural sugars more unless you're a willpower superhero.

Rather, you should build mini-habits one or two at a time until they make significant changes in your approach to diet and exercise.  I've tried this before but again came at it wrong.  Some of my mini-habits in the past included cut added sugars, cut out soda, etc.  I missed the point the first time around.  Now my first mini-habit is try and drink 100 ounces of water a day.  Some experts say 8 cups of 8 ounces, others say half your body weight in ounces.  I chose 100 ounces not because it's half my body weight (that would be 115 ounces) but simply because I like round numbers.  For me it comes to roughly 5 or 6 of the glasses we have at home or about the equivalent of 6 regular sized water bottles you see everywhere.

This seems achievable to me, but I'm also thirstier than the average Joe historically so it might be quite a bit less for most people.  4 of the past 6 days I've had no soda as a result of this strategy.  I'm not focusing on cutting out soda but rather on increasing my water intake, which makes a huge difference for me.

That's all I'm going to focus on for a few weeks until I get some winning streaks under my belt.  Along with mini habits is the idea of small wins and building on those.  So, basically the opposite of most diets or cleanses on the market these days which call for radical changes in your diet and exercise routine all at once and where you see dramatic results quickly but are usually difficult for average people to maintain long term.  19 out of 20 people who get on a diet fail eventually, how depressing is that?!  

As for other mini-habits, we'll wait and see.  Some I'm considering are brushing my teeth after dinner or at 8pm when I put my son to bed.  I tend to eat worse later in the evening after dinner.  Throughout the day I eat decently but after 8pm all willpower is shot.  Nothing tastes good to me after brushing my teeth so that would be a good deterrent if I were to guess.  

Another one I've considered is the classic 5 fruits and vegetables a day.  I usually get 2 in first thing in the morning in my smoothie (a banana and some spinach along with other things that make it palatable) but the rest of the day can slip away before I've realized I haven't eaten enough fruit and vegetable for the day.  That should help with filling me up on fiber where I'm not left feeling hungry for more simple carbs.

These mini-habits could be seen as rules as other things are, but they're not as extreme or restrictive.  Again, no food is off limits because once you make something off limits it's immediately tempting and I'm the type of person that falls too easily into temptation.  You're simply building mini-habits that will in time decrease your desire for all the junk food and sugary drinks.

We'll have to wait and see how it goes.  This is going to be a much longer process than most diets but I think the results will be worth it in the long run.

May of 2018

Late April 2020

What a difference 2 years can make!

How to Share Your Faith

Many of us have grown up in churches where we have been encouraged to share our faith.  Unfortunately, this may not come naturally to a lot of people.  Someone taught us a way to share one's faith that is a way to organize it in one's mind should the opportunity arise and you forget what to say.

Obviously, you're not going to say this acronym as you share but it helps to remember it for yourself to keep you focused and on track.

The acronym is RAMP and it stands for Resurrection, Apostles' witness, Miracles, Prophecies.  You talk about the resurrection of Christ, how He stood and died in our place for our sins bc we're all sinners.  There were more than 500 eye witnesses to His resurrection.  While on earth He performed more miracles than any book could hold.  Miracles still point to Him today.  There were more than 300 prophecies about Him before He came to earth.  I might be wrong as to the number of prophecies but you get the general gist.

That's the simplest way I know to share one's faith.  Usually, I share more of a personal testimony and how Christ has changed my life but this is a good one for apologetics and if you forget some of the basic reasons for belief in Christ.

Hopefully that helps someone who may suddenly blank out when they're given a great opportunity to share their faith!

Faith in the right Fear

At a Zoom meeting tonight for our ministry organization we were reminded by a preacher that often times we say faith over fear.  Sometimes though, we also need to put our faith in the right type of fear.  In Proverbs it talks about how the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.  

Personally, I've wrestled through different seasons and thoughts about the fear of God.  Often people talk of it as an 'awe' type of thing.  But I read it more literally I suppose.  When people in the Bible come in contact with God, they are terrified.  Isaiah said how he was unworthy and was terrified.  There's a reason we say, "He put the fear of God in that boy."

My relationship with God has evolved in many ways.  One of those is to acknowledge that while God is called our Friend He is also our Lord and should be feared and revered appropriately.  Perfect Love casts out fear.  So, if we fear God than we don't fear anything else.

A high school counselor once told me "Fear not" is the most common commandment in the Bible.  I haven't cross referenced that but it makes sense.  God knows it's only human to fear things and situations in life.  But then He reminds us that if we have Him in proper perspective He drives out that fear.

So, fear God, and nothing else.  And be welcomed into His Presence when He purifies you and makes you holy as he did with the prophet Isaiah after the initial terror he experienced.  Come confidently before the throne of God but make sure to do it in a reverent manner, acknowledging that He is Lord and King along with so many other names in Scripture.

This is so much easier said than done and that's partly why I'm writing this, to remind myself of these truths.  Anxiety can creep in so easily these days during this pandemic.  But let's remind ourselves that God is still in control and this didn't take Him by surprise.  Let's put our faith in the One who alone can save us.

Dangerous Prayers

Some prayers are simply more dangerous than others.  Often times, our prayers will be answered by things we don't want to have happen.  Sometimes God causes those things to happen, other times He allows things to happen that put us through the purifying fire in answer to our prayers.

One of the more popular examples are when you pray for patience.  The old joke is true, pray for patience and you're inviting all sorts of situations and people into your life that are likely to make you want to lose your patience.

The particular prayer I'm referring to is a personal one I prayed last fall and just prayed again tonight.  Last fall I prayed for more faith.  Shortly thereafter the apartment above ours had a fire and we were forced to move around for a while before God blessed us with a permanent house.  Before that we had a miscarriage.  

I don't believe either of those things were sent by God but I do know beyond the shadow of a doubt that He used those situations to grow my faith.  God is a God of love and of life.  He is for us, and as such He uses all things for our good.

While it surprised me a bit today to repeat that prayer from last year, I did it.  I prayed it because I know that's what He desires for me.  He wants me to have greater faith.  He wants me to have faith as small as a mustard seed so I can move mountains for His glory.

Dangerous prayers are when you let go of the outcome and recognize that you are powerless to achieve the desired results on your own.  You might as well let go of the outcome because you don't have any control in the first place.  That's one thing we as a culture have learned from this whole Covid 19 thing, right?  

Dangerous prayers are when you pray God's will, no matter if that matches what you want or not.  Sometimes we mistake our own will for His and so it's always a good idea to add, "if it is the Lord's will" to the end of any prayer.  It shows a certain humility to acknowledge that even when we think we're following God it may simply be not what He wants for us or at least not in that moment or phase in our lives.

"Lord, answer our dangerous prayers in whatever way You see fit.  And if our prayers aren't dangerous, teach us to pray dangerous prayers.  Teach us to pray for Your Kingdom come, even when it doesn't look like what we might think."

Positive Thinking

Recently, I read an older book titled, The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Peale.  I found it very useful and practical and wish I had read it years ago.  Now, to be clear, I didn't agree with all of it, especially the parts about using Scripture as a formula, but overall I found it quite beneficial.

Changing your thinking is very difficult if you're like me.  You seem to get in these negative ruts and getting out of them seems all but impossible.  Then you remember that with God all things are possible.  He says this to Mary through an angel when she asks how a virgin can conceive of a child.  He shows all things are possible multiple times through Scripture.  In the Old Testament with the plagues among Egypt and then letting the Israelites cross the Red Sea on dry ground.  In the New Testament with all the miracles of Christ, turning water into wine and walking on water among them.

Am I naive to believe those miracles actually happened?  When I saw my boy for the first time, I thought it was a miracle.  I don't see faith and science as operating against each other but rather hand in hand.  Science can explain how God works in my opinion.

If God can do miracles like all of the above, then He can surely help me lose weight.  It has come to my attention the first step is changing my thinking in this weight loss journey.  I've lost weight before but it hasn't stuck.  The main reason I can see is I didn't change my overall thinking.  I'd reach a goal weight and then either move back to the USA or my mind would take a vacation because I had reached my goal or both.

We must realize we are loved deeply and completely regardless of the weight on the scale.  God will not love me anymore or less if I gain or lose weight.  Within that truth I can find great freedom.  Health is very important of course, but it can't be our core identity.  Neither can mental health, emotional health, our connections with others.  All of those are very important, but the main thing is recognizing our role as a child of God.  That is where our true identity is.

I want to be healthy for my son so I can play with him as he gets older.  I want to set an example for him in how to live a healthy life.  I'm a far way from that but I have faith I can get there.  One thing to remember is that it will always be a struggle.  I'll never get to a point where it'll be easy or natural.  And that's okay.  It's similar to marriage or parenting.  The hardest things in life are the most worth it.  If we can engage in that thought process we will be much more set up for success in different areas of our lives.

Joy Thieves & Joy Givers

There are certain people who try and steal your joy.  You're trying something new and they have all the advice in the world but they go about sharing it in the completely wrong way.  Something I've tried to do as I get older is not offer advice unless it's asked for.  This is an extremely difficult discipline to live by and something I'm still not great at.  Normally for me though I ask people for advice when I want it, not before.  I ask certain people who I consider to know a lot in their fields for advice in that field and others for advice in other fields.  Seems only logical to me.

For instance, everyone has an opinion on diet and fitness, but I have one friend who I seek out advice from bc he's a personal trainer and nutrition expert if not an official nutritionist yet.  He gives wise counsel in that area even though I struggle immensely to implement his advice.  There are others though who I would consider to be joy thieves.  People who offer unsolicited advice that you can't take seriously bc of how they themselves look.

This also feeds into the notion that who you surround yourself is very important bc you start taking on their characteristics unwillingly.  Are the people who you hang around with joy thieves or joy givers?  No one is always one or the other, but I greatly admire people who choose joy even as they get older.  The more experience one has the easier it seems to fall into cynicism.  At least that's the case with me.  Cynicism is something I fight almost daily.  Those who cultivate joy may make it look easy, but even for them I know it's a discipline that has taken a lot of practice.

Joy doesn't always look like happiness, sometimes it's simply trusting God in the midst of difficult circumstances.  It often goes hand in hand with hope and trusting that this too shall pass.  

I'm reading a book right now and trying to change my thinking.  It's particularly difficult to do for someone who has had negative thoughts playing in his head for as long as he can remember.  But it's so so worth the fight.

Apologizing to Muslims

Last night I found myself surrounded by 6 Kurds, 2 from Iraq, 2 from Sryia, and 2 from Turkey.  Our friends were having a religious ceremony for their 45 day old baby who is an absolute cutie pie.  One of them showed me where Kurdistan used to be and how the Ottoman Empire broke the land up into four different countries.

One of our couple friends is a Kurd, the other is a Turk, they're both from Turkey.  Several months ago my friend said what our president/nation had done to the Kurds wasn't right.  So I looked it up in about the only news source I trust nowadays (The Economist) and sure enough my friend was right.  To summarize, when we pulled out of the war against ISIS in Syria we left our allies, the Syrian Kurds who were helping us defeat ISIS, high and dry.  Consequently, Erdogan and Turkey had started making war on the Syrian Kurds now that they no longer have us as an ally.

For years, I would've considered myself a pacifist or if forced to decide a non-violent activist should the time ever come.  Then I had a baby and now I know I would be highly irrational and violent if he was ever threatened with his life.

That is my background, so know that I'm essentially anti-war if at all possible.  However, if I was pro-war and just had common sense as a basis for thought, I know you don't leave your allies high and dry in times of war.  Other presidents have done the same thing I'm sure, it just hit home this time as I was seated at a table of people who had immediate relatives who were effected by international relations like this.

And so, I apologized to the Kurdish people I had just met.  They said not to worry about it because it's just politics and ultimately they're right.  But it was a reminder that what our nation does abroad has far-reaching consequences.

It seems like there is this fear-mongering in our nation against Muslims that comes in waves.  Post 9-11 it was sky high, then it died down again, then it flared up again, and the cycle continues.  What I don't understand is why that fear is so rampant within our own churches.  Perfect Love drives out fear.  I have seen someone who was radicalized after a trip to Mecca saved by Jesus Christ and completely changed by Him.  That doesn't mean his life is now perfect or that he always makes wise decisions.  But what I can tell you is that Love in the Person of Christ is the best means of anti-terrorism we have.

Terrorism is not confined by one religion or people group alone.  People in this country are so scared of 'the other' and yet we want to see the Good News reach every corner of the globe.  How exactly do we expect to do that if we never speak to people outside of our shared demographics?  The states is still a nation of immigrants, and it would behoove us as believers to build bridges to people who are new to this country regardless of what our media might portray them as.  One of the best way to build bridges?  Apologizing to them.  Trust me, there is plenty that we have to be sorry for and it helps bring people's guards down as a bonus.

Healthy, Wealthy and Wise

I'm not sure who to attribute this to, as it is often attributed to different people in the past as many sayings are, but one person in America's history said, "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."  It's a part of the very fabric of American life.

We can find Biblical verses to back up all of these, but we mustn't forget these are ultimately a cultural value and not a Biblical one.  Although the wise one is pretty hard to argue with from a Biblical standpoint.  There's nothing wrong with striving for each of these as long as they don't get in the way of our true goals as a Christian.

We should ultimately strive to be a reflection of Christ and grow in our Christ-likeness.  For me, if I think about those 3 big ideas too much I can lose sight of growing as a Christ follower.  Recently I saw a post by Bob Goff that said Christ doesn't call us to be the best version of ourselves but rather reflections of Him.  It was a convicting reminder.

I'm all about personal development.  I read books about it, namely about habits that lead to the life I want to live.  Often, these can overshadow my true purpose of reflecting Christ to the world around me if I'm not careful.  They can easily become distractions to my ultimate goal of glorifying God and enjoying His presence.

There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these.  One could argue that Christ never called us to be wealthy and he didn't really address health all that much.  However, if both health and wealth are looked at as tools to expand the kingdom of God then they should be embraced with open arms.  Wealthy people can do a lot of good with their resources and empower missionaries and local leaders to reach the lost in their communities abroad.  They can also do the same in their own communities.

I can also often seek out wisdom in the wrong places, like reading more personal development books and business books or personal finance books than I read the Bible.  I have some systems in place to try and grow my relationship with Christ but He often shows up when I least expect it.  He often displays His strength in my adversity, like this last fall with the fire and the miscarriage.

That's not to say I'm off the hook in terms of personal responsibility to use the resources He's given to me to advance His kingdom whether that be with talents of the wealth kind or talents of the strengths kind.  However, He often displays His strength more in my weaknesses than He does in my strengths.

To summarize, striving for health, wealth and wisdom aren't bad in and of themselves but they must be put in their proper place in our lives, simply as tools to try and expand the kingdom of God.  And we must remember that ultimately it's His kingdom and He's the One who is going to grow it or reveal it more and more and we're simply privileged to get to be a part of that when He calls us to do so.  Praise be to Him who uses our relatively minuscule efforts to reach the lost for His Name's sake.

Failing Forward

I've been vlogging recently about trying to get healthy again.  The main part I find hardest is consistency.  This is necessary no matter what good habit you want to develop. 

Anyone can do well for a week or two, but to change your life it takes a lifetime of change.  That's quite intimidating but it's what we must focus on. 

How can you possibly change for a lifetime when you've been on the SAD (Standard American Diet) diet for your whole adult life basically?  One bite, one meal, one choice, one day at a time.  If health was easy everyone would be in good shape. 

A strong part of it is environmental factors.  Having lived overseas for some time, I've joked with others that as soon as I cross American airspace on my trip home my waist expands.  With fast food restaurants on every corner with unlimited free refills on soda is it any wonder we struggle with obesity as a nation??

Some would call that an excuse and that might be a fair assessment.  I do know it is easier to lose weight overseas and keep it off though simply because of the food culture you'll likely encounter.  Here it takes much more self discipline to say no to some truly toxic foods and lose weight and keep it off. 

So, when you fail when trying to change something as major as your diet and health, make sure to fail forward.  Don't give into shame as that will simply lead to giving up.  Learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward, one bite at a time. 

Hoping and Waiting

I've heard a few times now that in Hebrew, the same word is used for both hoping and waiting.  It's the same in Spanish, "esperar."  This is fascinating to me.

We hope for a better world, and we also wait for a better world.  We hope for Jesus to come back to earth, but we also wait for it.  My wife hoped for a relationship with me for a long time, and waited 8 years to see it happen.

Hoping for something almost inherently means waiting for it in this sense.  It doesn't resonate well with our microwave society.  We hope for something we want now, not something we need to wait for.

Perhaps it's in the waiting where God shapes us into who He wants us to become.  He promises to fulfill the hopes of His people, but it's always on His timeline and not our own.  The Israelites I'm sure hoped for freedom from slavery for 400 years before God delivered them from Pharoah's grip.

Are we willing to wait a lifetime for our hopes to be fulfilled?  Are we willing to wait till eternity to see our deepest hopes and desires fulfilled?  How counter cultural is that? 

That's not to excuse inaction.  If we hope for the Great Commission to be fulfilled, we needn't wait for someone else to take the initiative.  At the same time, we realize we may be waiting a lifetime of sharing the gospel and even longer to see that hope fulfilled.

Hope gives us a purpose to live for, something larger than ourselves.  We have our hope in Christ, and so we wait for His return.  We wait and hope with baited breath, knowing He will restore all things to how they're supposed to be.  We long for renewal as individuals, families, communities and countries.  While we wait for renewal, we also work.  Working is part of the waiting.  Otherwise you just get bored and don't contribute anything to the Great Commission or other worthy callings.

What are you hoping and waiting for?

New Year, New You

I know all the jokes about new year's resolutions but personally I appreciate the yearly reset.  It gives me hope and reminds me His mercies are new everyday.  Every day and every year.  If you failed last year, it's time to put that in your past and move forward.  Don't let your past determine your future. 

On a regular basis, I need to remind myself God loves me no matter what.  In spite of my failures, He's still crazy about me.  He lives me and wants me to put the past behind me and strive towards the future and what He has in store for me. 

We come past the shortest day of the year and it's exciting, in spite of the gray skies here in Louisville.  Exciting opportunities are before all of us, time to resolve to be a better husband and father.  Time to follow hard after God. 

So set resolutions.  And when you fail, remind yourself of His grace, pick yourself up and get back after it.  He is there for you in the midst of your failure as much or more during your success.  It's all for His glory and He uses everything for our good. 

Resolutions and Consistency

Being the eternal optimist that I am, I always start every new year with goals for the year.  I usually end up hitting anywhere between 50 and 75% of them which is usually satisfactory for me.  Some years I have too many goals and can't keep track of them.  This year might be one of those years.

The key to hitting goals and resolutions is consistency.  This is why dieting is so hard for me.  In certain areas I'm very consistent, eating not so much.  I wondered aloud the other day to a friend why it is that I'm consistent in many areas of my life except food.  He said that would be something to dive into possibly.

For instance, last year I set a goal of losing 25 pounds.  By the end of 2019 I still had 26 to go, d'oh!  It was 30 before I spent a week at my inlaws where I usually drop 5 pounds from being on their keto diet short term.  I don't think keto is healthy long term though and I don't want to yo yo so I just stay away from it.

I need to do something different though.  I've started intermittent fasting which is helpful for feeling like I'm in more control than usual as far as diet stuff.  Now I need to remember what I eat during my eating window is just as important as not eating for the 16 hour window.

There are many books out there about self development that basically say the same thing.  Habits, when repeated, compound and lead to big results, either for good or bad.  We shape our habits, and then our habits shape us.

So, I'm trying to gain healthy habits in addition or alongside of weight loss.  Without habits I'll just keep yo yoing like I have in the past.

Here's to seeing 2020 in the New Year  ;)