Man and Nature

Man and nature.  It has often been perceived as an irreconcilable relationship.  Is that true though?  I’m currently reading a book titled Home Economics by Wendell Berry and he explores different ideas around the industrial economy as well as the old farm economy.  He makes some compelling arguments and one of them I want to expound on here.

For man and nature to both flourish we need to have the humility to learn from nature.  We see this in some aspects of design; design that is inspired by nature.  Ironically, we see designs in nature but forego the conclusion that nature itself has been designed.  Anyway, that’s another tangent for another time.

In order for man to flourish, we must remember that we are dependent on nature.  I hadn’t thought much about that prior to reading this book but the truth is still there.  We are dependent on nature, how have we gotten to a place where we have forgotten this simple truth?

In my estimation we got there by purposefully removing ourselves from nature to such an extent that we no longer see our need for it.  At the very least we give the job to the farmer.  Personally, I don’t like being out in nature all that much, with some disclaimers attached to that.  I love being in nature on hikes and such, I just have no desire to sleep on the ground or in a tent.  If it could be like we had it in Tennessee in the mountains in a cabin though that is pretty ideal.

I don’t know about you or the next guy, but I typically feel closest to God when I’m out in nature, or as we Christians refer to it, creation.  There’s something about getting lost out there in nature without paying attention to time or responsibility if even for just a short time.  It refreshes and reenergizes my soul somehow.

Man and nature can coexist, they must.  We must get to a place where our economy mimics our ecology in the sense that nature doesn’t produce any waste.  How we get to that place is one of the primary quests of our time in my opinion.  We would need to start looking at the materials we use and what happens to them after our use of them.  Or to go back even further start looking at our manufacturing process from a macro view.

8 Lessons in 8 Months in Marriage

Full disclosure, I meant to write this last month and it was going to be 7 lessons in 7 months so I might have to stretch to find the 8th lesson  :)

1. Love and cherish your wife regularly.  

It is a daily choice to love and cherish your wife; not just in the wedding vows.  Thankfully, we now have Google for creative dates on the cheap to impress her with in case we’re not feeling particularly creative.

2.  Do the chores

Touched on this in a previous post about serving your wife.  Sometimes the best way to love your wife is simply by doing the chores that you are really not wanting to do that particular evening.

3.  Listen to her heart.

I heard a sermon last year that talked about how men need to engage their wife’s heart on a regular basis.  He suggested to do this by asking your wife, “How is your heart?” and then the man has to shut up and just let her talk.  This has been vital for us as a couple because Steffani simply doesn’t share as much as I do on a regular basis since she’s introverted but when I ask this question it helps her process what’s going on in her heart and lets me in a little deeper than the usual day to day stuff.

4.  Make her laugh.

I love to make Steffani laugh.  This is especially true if she’s upset with me for some unknown reason.  Well, usually I know the exact reason she’s mad at me but that’s besides the point  :)  If I can make her laugh sooner than she wants to it makes everything smooth over that much quicker.  She tells people she wants to stay mad at me and so it kind of drives her crazy but I know she really appreciates it down deep.

5.  Don’t try to ‘win’ an argument

Here’s a question my friend Ryan always used to ask from the pulpit…”If you ‘win’ an argument, what does that make your spouse?”  Obviously, it makes your spouse a loser, and no one likes to feel like a loser.  You may win the argument but you’re setting yourself up to lose the much more important battle of taking on the world with your spouse.  You’re on the same team so the goal should always be to reconcile, not to win.

6.  It takes 2 to have an argument

My dear friend Mary said in her premarital counseling their pastor said if one person is fired up it’s best for the other person to remain silent for a while to help put out the fire.  Fire needs oxygen so if you hold your breath it helps put out the fire.  This is obviously different than the silent treatment as you still will deal with it but if one person is fired up do all you can to not be fired up at the same time.  This is way easier to suggest rather than to actually practice for me btw.

7.  Who is going to die?

A friend just told me this idea the other day.  He said he was complaining to a friend early on in his marriage that he didn’t want to have kids and his wife did.  His friend calmly responded, “Well who is going to die?” - meaning who was going to die to themselves in that situation?  Steffani doesn’t want kids yet but she certainly will want them sooner than I will and I will have to ‘choose to die’ to myself in that discussion.  Thankfully she told me I have two years before she’s ready so I think I might be ready by then  :)

8.  Stuff I thought most everyone knew it turns out not everyone knows  :)

This has been a little running joke between Steffani and I and I hope I don’t get into too much trouble throwing her under the bus here.  Eggs are not a dairy product and all peanut butter is vegan by definition.  That’s all I’ll say about that since she’s knows what I’m talking about  :)  Love you Honey  :) To be fair there’s a hilarious YouTube clip of Jimmy Kimmel asking people who claimed to live a gluten free lifestyle what gluten was and none of them knew the answer.  

Click here for some great laughs!  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdJFE1sp4Fw

My Only Regret in Marriage

My only regret in marriage...catchy title, right?  ;)

I had lunch with a dear friend yesterday and he was asking me how married life was going.  I said it was wonderful and I really had only one regret; that I didn’t marry Steffani sooner.  Now, I’m sure I had some lessons to learn still but looking back, why did I wait so long to marry such a wonderful woman?

Well, there were several reasons.  A big one was that I had let culture dictate my view of marriage rather than let God and the Bible speak truth into my life about marriage.  I’m certainly new to this whole thing but I have to say it’s the best decision I ever made, next to following Christ of course.

Steffani is everything I hoped and dreamed for and more.  People used to criticize me and say my list of what I was looking for was way too long.  I sure am glad I didn’t listen to any of them.  Steffani fits all I was looking for and even beyond that.  

On Sunday at my parents’ church the preacher talked about how in Genesis some versions miss the meaning of the words in context when they translate ‘God made Adam a suitable helper.’  He joked that if he told someone his wife was ‘suitable’ she’d probably hit him in the gut.  A better understanding might be God made Adam someone who was a just right fit for him.

Steffani is that to me and I pray I’m that to her; a just right fit.  We have occasional arguments of course because we’re people who live together and that’s just part of it.  As long as we remember we’re on the same page though and that if one of us ‘wins’ an argument it makes the other a ‘loser’ then I know we’ll be fine.  

That woman means the world to me.  She chooses to see the best in me even though she knows and sees my flaws on a regular basis.  She makes me strive to be the better version of myself that she chooses to see more frequently even when I don’t see that better version.

Being married is just the best.  I realize that’s largely naivete speaking since we are still on the honeymoon after all; but I do enjoy it way more than I thought was ever possible.  I was single for a relatively long time; about a decade after college which is long for most people.  I had an incredible time as a single person and wouldn’t trade that time for the world.  But now I’m married and it’s even better than I could’ve hoped for.

I’m sure Steffani will read this and laugh at wherever I misplaced a ‘then’ or ‘than’ as she says I usually screw those up (try as I might not to though!) which she enjoys.  Maybe she should teach our kids (if she gets her way  ;) ) about proper grammar in the English language, right?