Lonely and learning

After several months of being cracked, my I-pod touch decided not to respond to touch anymore. I’m grateful for the time that it did work and will most likely get it fixed when I get home, but I didn’t realize how much I depend on it. Not depend on it like food or drink or anything, but depend on it just to pass the time when I’m walking or flying on a plane or riding a bus. I have listened to countless sermons on the thing, as well as some financial podcasts (yes, I know I’m a dork.) I like listening to Dave Ramsey and Crown Money Matters both. The Crown podcast has a variety of topics that they discuss, anywhere from the state of the economy to peer to peer lending. Dave’s show is more geared towards people’s individual financial situations, whether they’re having a financial crisis or are calling to scream that they’re debt free. The people who call in and scream they’re debt free always give me a lot of hope. They sound so incredibly excited that they’re out from the prison of debt. I’d like to help people get out of debt by leading a financial class at my church in the fall. Debt is such a prison that many Americans find themselves in. I have a couple friends who are over $100,000 in debt, just from their tertiary education. Many of the callers who scream they’re debt free have huge student loans they had to pay off as their highest and last debt. Kind of makes me think there is something wrong systematically with our higher education system. My own brother spent his first year of grad school at an Ivy League institution and it cost him $50,000. He’s in his second year in Germany and it’s going to cost $1,300. When I was in Dublin in November I found myself in the middle of a protest by young people opposing a bill that was going to double the cost of their tuition from 1,500 euro to 3,000 euro a year. Even if they did end up passing it, which I think they did but can’t remember for sure, that still wouldn’t come close to the average cost of an American college education. We are known around the world for having outstanding universities with excellent professors, I’m just not sure it should cost so much. Europeans are willing to pay more taxes though, which helps offset the cost of their education. Americans hate taxes in the very core of our beings, it’s in our blood. It’s one of the main reasons we became an independent nation after all.

Anyways, back to the lack of I-pod touch thing, it makes me realize I spend a lot of my time alone and in silence. Many times I prefer this; often I go to the beach late at night back home after hanging out with friends just to listen to the waves. Too much silence, though, and one has too much time to think about anything and nothing all at the same time. Before, I was already reading a lot, but now I’m reading even more. Reading produces new thoughts to ponder, whether those be about global politics or making ideas stick. Sometimes though, you just want to be able to listen to some chill music like Jack Johnson or watch an episode of The Simpsons or Community (those two TV series are on my I-pod currently.) This has also provided an opportunity to learn more about myself and my tendencies, comfort zone, likes and dislikes. My roommate in Sydney suggested this hostel for me when I got to Byron Bay where I currently am. He said it was awesome and laid back and I wouldn’t even want to go into town. Quite the opposite has proven true. I signed up for a 3 day surf course 2 days ago. My first day was yesterday and I was supposed to go to my second lesson today but they cancelled on me. At the hostel, I’d probably enjoy it more if I was more outgoing. Something has changed over the past few years since college that I’m not nearly as gregarious as I once was. If anything, I tend to be more of a loner nowadays and almost don’t know how to act in a social setting. Well, maybe it’s not that extreme, but I certainly seem to have a hard time striking up a conversation with people around me. Lately, I’ve been forcing myself to talk to people on the bus ride into town from the hostel. It usually starts with something like, “Where ya from? I’m Justin.” Seems innocent enough, right? Somehow though, it takes all the strength I have to get out of my comfort zone like that. Part of the reason I have a hard time meeting people here I suspect is that everyone likes to party and get drunk. That has never really been my style, particularly the getting drunk part of it.

Another thing that has taken up much less of my time is the internet. I have a USB stick that connects to the internet anywhere you have cell phone range; unfortunately it doesn’t pick up enough of a signal at this hostel to connect. I do still have access but it’s much more expensive so I’m less inclined to use it nearly as much of course. It’s been nice to not be tethered to the computer for quite as long. I’ve read over half of The Economist this week so I’m learning a lot through that. Maybe I should take up the 90 day Bible again. I read through that on this trip once already. Reading through the Bible is a habit I want to take up with more regularity. There is so much to be gained from that experience I feel like. It is how God chooses to reveal himself after all. On my Kindle I also have a 1 year Bible that I’ve been trying to read 4 days per day to get through it in 90 days again but I’m having a much harder time with this one for some reason. It’s probably due to the fact that there are 4 sections for each day, one from the Old Testament, one from the New Testament, one from Psalms, and one from Proverbs. Normally this would be great, but if you try to do 4 days in one sitting it lacks continuity. The 90 day Bible just goes from Genesis through Revelation so it has good continuity that way. A few years ago I read the 1 year Bible in chronological order and really enjoyed that as well. Maybe I’ll download that one here soon and start on it.

A friend told me a little while ago that when you’re out of your comfort zone is when you grow the most. There’s a lot of truth to that I think. About a month ago I helped out at the Salvation Army for a week of service. This really got me out of my comfort zone. The past few years God has been cultivating a heart for the poor within me but it’s still not my preference. Their whole culture is just so very different than a middle class person’s. Thankfully, the Salvation Army program had an introduction to the week that talked quite a bit about culture and what to expect. That helped as much as anything else. Just knowing that it wasn’t going to be the same as what you’re used to helped tremendously. If you can anticipate change, it’s much easier to adapt to a new situation. That’s probably the reason I have a harder time with reverse culture shock than with culture shock. When I go to a new culture, I’m expecting it to be different that what I’m used to and am therefore open to the idea of adapting to change. When I return to America, without fail, I see things differently than I did before I left the country and this produces new insights and at the same time new headaches momentarily. It’s hard to remember that the people back home haven’t been where you have been for the past however long and they won’t see the same things you see. Not that one is better than the other, but that you will just see things much differently than you used to before you left. For some reason, my culture shock seems to get worse every year when I return after being overseas somewhere. One would think I would know what to expect but undoubtedly there are unexpected things that pop up and cause me to take a while to adjust to being home. After being gone for 8 months for this particular overseas experience, I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like going home at first. Right now, I’m focusing on perhaps just treating it like I would a new culture, expect to see new and different things, and be willing and open to change.

After not getting to surf today, I was happy to accept an invitation for a free ride to the beach by one of the employee’s father. He was an interesting fellow who had been to many different places in his lifetime. He brought up how he used to get lonely on his travels and I said I could sure relate to that on this trip. For the most part it’s really exciting but you do certainly miss home at times. Phone calls and emails and facebook help, but it’s not the same as seeing people face to face. It will be good to be home in a couple of months, I’m looking forward to seeing family and friends quite a bit.