This weekend I came up to Chicago to spend time with my mom's side of the family. We had a wonderful time and my cousin's three little ones stole the show as usual. They're all really good kids so it's easy to let them wrap you around their little fingers. Their latest addition is a boy who just turned 1 year old the other day and is about the best natured little guy I've ever met. We all had a great time and I was very grateful for the time I got to spend with everyone.
After everyone else left Uncle Mark, Aunt Paula and I all took naps followed by a dinner consisting of lunch meat and leftovers. We had a really interesting discussion about cell phones and technology in general that made me think about how effected we are everyday by different new technologies that didn't exist as little as a decade ago and now are so mainstream that many people can't seem to live without the latest gadget. Technology moves forward so quickly it's difficult if not impossible to keep up.
Something I've realized since being home is that all my friends have gone the way of texting over calling each other. Well, almost everyone; I have a couple of guy friends who still insist on calling and that's kind of a nice relief from all the texting I've found myself receiving and sending. Last week I got a new 3GS iPhone because I needed a new phone and they were only $50. Instantly, I'm obsessed with the thing and always playing with it. There are so many cool apps and it's hugely addictive as I'm finding out. One of the high schoolers in youth group commented on how I was Mr. Simplicity and now I had a smart phone?
It's interesting how all this texting and social media is really taking away from actually socializing in person. Now it's too easy to cancel plans by just texting someone without offering any explanation. Or the people who text to one another while sitting in the same room. It is certainly a cause for concern, and one I am sure schools are going to be expected to fix before too long along with everything else we're supposed to fix that goes wrong in society. Don't get me wrong, I love facebook and it really helped me stay in touch while being gone and to show pictures to people; but I think so many times people use it as a reason not to get together. If I can just chat with them it will be much easier than actually meeting in person. Sometimes it's not feasible to meet with someone like a lot of my friends who live in other parts of the country or overseas. But many times people live in the same town and will chat or text for an hour or so. Why not just make your way over to that person's house or meet somewhere halfway? Is it that much of an inconvenience? We already live in a disconnected society where everyone pulls into their garages, closes the door, and then goes inside without having to interact with the world around them whatsoever if they choose not to.
So it just really struck me as odd that I left for 8 months and now the majority of my friends prefer to text as opposed to calling on the phone or meeting up in person. And I'm definitely not guiltless in this texting/smart phone addiction thing. I caught myself several times this weekend either texting or playing words with friends on my iPhone rather than talking to my family who was in the same room. That's another thing, it's no longer considered rude to take a phone call when you're with someone else. It still bugs me but I guess I'll just have to adjust to the times. Maybe I'll make it a policy to turn my phone off whenever I'm with other people. We're built for community and socializing and all this social media is actually taking away from the social aspect of our lives.
For me personally, another thing has just been interacting with people on a regular basis again. On my trip, I kept myself pretty well entertained between my I-pod, Kindle, and mini laptop. Now I have people to talk to and catch up with. It's almost stimulation overload on my senses. Ever since high school I've been a fairly social person so I've been lapping it up. Every once in a while though, I find myself just wanting to get away and read or something by myself. There is certainly a balance to be found I'm sure.
For a few months on this trip, I was open to the idea of a relationship. Now I think that was just because I got lonely. Lately I'm back to my old ways of not wanting to touch a relationship with a 10 foot pole. Maybe that will change some fine day but I'm perfectly content being on my own as long as I have friends to hang out with. There's a lot of talk in Christian circles about there being a crisis among young men who don't want to grow up. Usually what is meant by this is that they marry and start a family. When did marrying someone make you a grown-up? I sure am glad Jesus and Paul didn't have that definition of adulthood. It's yet another example of people being slow to adapt to cultural changes. People are getting married later and later and for some reason people think that's a crisis. Why is it a crisis if you want to start your career and establish yourself a little before you take the giant step into a serious relationship?
When I was fresh out of college I had several people tell me to not even think about marrying someone until I was 30 years old. For that reason I haven't even dated because most of the girls I'm typically interested in want to head down the path towards marriage some fine day in the way too near future. That and the fact that I'm bipolar. Being bipolar really effects the way I view relationships. Ever since high school and college I've always been at a place where I didn't want to share that with anyone in a committed relationship. A support system is enough in my opinion. Plus I don't want to ever ask anyone to deal with that. I know everyone has their baggage or whatever but mental illness is a pretty serious thing to consider bringing into a relationship. That being said, I know people who have mental illness and are in committed relationships and seem to do just fine. I don't know though, it just seems like it's too much to ask someone to help you carry.
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