Yesterday, I went up to Tampa to do a calling lab. It was very interesting and I felt like I learned a lot. I didn't exactly find my calling so much as reaffirm what I've known for some time that I'm supposed to do with my life. You see, I've gone on several mission trips for many years and have just been wrestling with whether or not I should become a full time missionary. I've always had it on my heart to become one, at least since 2006 that is, it's just been a matter of letting fear get the best of me in regards to support raising.
Thankfully, I've already seen God provide for me in support raising both when I came on staff at my church part time a couple years ago and then again this year with my upcoming trip to Myanmar. This is useful because I know He always provides for His people. He uses unexpected people to meet our needs, doesn't He? This makes it a little easier to trust that He can and will provide for all my needs as a full time missionary coming up.
As of now, I'm not sure where I'll end up or what exactly I'll be doing. There are a couple things I'm looking into. The main one is a traveling teacher for NMSI which sounds ideal for me. I love to teach and I love to travel. Boom, a traveling teacher position comes along and I'd be foolish not to go for it. Now I just have to get my resume together and start the process with them. There are some other opportunities that are out there for me to explore, but that's the one that kind of stands out right now.
It occurred to me recently that I need to be in prayer for others on a more continual basis. Today we had a mother's day baby dedication at church. It was pretty cool to see all the parents up there making promises to raise their children in a Christ-centered environment and to share the love of Christ with their children as they grow and mature. One lady afterwards told me it seems like yesterday that she was dedicating her baby at a church in Orlando and now she's going off to college in the fall. I've never understood why people say time just flies when you have kids, maybe someday I'll understand, God willing.
Lately, I've been trying to make a lot of changes in my life. It has been extremely difficult. I've seen some victories and a lot of failures. I think I've simply taken on too many changes at once. I'm trying to get in shape, get off meat, and get off processed sugars. It may not sound like much, but in some sense it's like fighting an addiction to the processed sugars and meat in particular. Those are things that I've always had in my life, and trying to give them up is proving quite difficult indeed. I think this week I'll try and focus on working out more and then add the other stuff bit by bit.
For a long time, several years in fact, I've been fighting this urge to become a full-time missionary. You see, I lead a very comfortable life in a lot of regards. Teaching is by no means easy, but as a single person the salary is more than enough to meet my needs and to provide enough extra to put money into savings, retirement, and pay for a lot of my trips. It has been a huge blessing to interact with colleagues at my school and of course to influence my students. In that sense, I've already been a missionary, just not for a missions organization in particular.
Maybe all that was for a specific reason, to prepare me for the mission field overseas. So far I've been to 29 countries, which is a huge blessing and one I don't take for granted too often. There is something special about learning about a new culture firsthand and seeing how Jesus is already at work and how I can come alongside Him in His work in a particular context. This summer I'm particularly looking forward to going to Haiti to love on some orphans and Myanmar to help with an entrepreneurship school. Both things will undoubtedly prepare me even more for the mission field and for that I am so grateful.
Well, there it is, my decision to become a full-time missionary overseas somewhere. Who knows where I'll end up or what I'll end up doing. I just know that it's time to surrender my wants into the Lord's hands and ask Him for His desires for my life. In our culture we make it a priority to hang onto security, whether financially or with a job or whatever. It's time for me to let go of all that and just to trust in Him and His will for my life. Pray for me, if you would.
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