The ups and downs of enculturation

If you're a reader of my blog on any consistent basis, you know that I have bipolar disorder.  This has been a struggle but also a blessing in many regards.  Admittedly, I don't always see it as a blessing, particularly when I'm in the throes of depression.  When I'm stable though, I can see it as a blessing that God has given me.  Many people may find that weird, but it's just how I've come to see it and cope with the illness.  I have met many people who struggle with the disorder and I know that it's not by accident.

Anyway, that's a bit of a long intro into my real topic for today's blog, enculturation.  Usually, every summer during my former teaching career, I'd go abroad.  I loved it; it was always for 2 months give or take a week.  I'd meet interesting people and learn about a new culture.  It was really intoxicating on a very deep and soulful level.  My principal asked me a few times when I was struggling with finding purpose in my role as an elementary teacher why I didn't just do it full time, meaning what I did in the summers.  I always gave the same answer, "There's no money in it."

Little did I know that I was meant to go into full time missions overseas.  Currently I'm serving a 6 month term in SE Asia.  What I've found is that after the initial 3 month term I served last summer, it's really difficult.  My fellow missionaries here assure me that it's perfectly natural to go through the ups and downs of enculturation.  They say it usually lasts for the first two years.  Add to that fact that I'm bipolar and mental stability is proving difficult to find.

A few weeks ago I was rather down, a couple of weeks ago was really good, and this past week was somewhere in between.  So, I'm struggling through.  This is exactly what I wanted to be doing, but that doesn't mean it comes without hardships.  I remember talking to a friend years ago about going into missions full time and saying something along the lines of, "I have no doubt it will be more difficult than my current position in life but I just really feel a strong pull to serve overseas."  Now that has certainly come true.  It is more difficult in a lot of ways, but as with anything that is difficult, it's worth it.

My fiance encouraged me that I needed to change my expectations for serving overseas.  She's right, isn't she?  Not everything is going to be awesome, there will be many difficulties and challenges.  She essentially told me to put my big boy pants on and suck it up, and I love her for that.  I need someone that can get in my face when I need it, even when it's from halfway around the world in West Africa.

Prayers are always appreciated, and I often rely on the prayers of family and friends back home to keep going.  I will write another update probably around the first week of July with what I've been up to here.  If you want to be added to my email list let me know and I'll be sure to include you in my next update.