Be Proactive

The latest book I’m reading is entitled The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.  Before I get into it I wanted to share something about the book that is pretty cool to me.  My dad gave me this book and I looked and he got it in 1990, at least if he got it the same year as the book was written.  That would have put him at about age 33 or 34 if my math is right.  I’m 33 now and am reading the same book!  My dad has lead a very successful and effective life, hopefully this book will help me live much the same way he has since he read this book all those years ago.

Back to the book, the first habit is to be proactive.  He talks about the word responsible and breaks it down into response - able; able to respond.  The idea being that our circumstances will constantly change but we are able to choose our response to those circumstances.  He quotes Viktor Frankl as saying something along the lines that the last of the human freedoms is the ability to choose our response to a given situation.

There are several reflective questions he asks through the chapter that stung quite a bit to be honest.  How many times do you just say, “If only...than I’d be happy.”  Ouch.  Guilty as charged.  We need to realize that if we wait for circumstances to change in order for us to be happy than our happiness will only be fleeting at best.  It is far better to choose a positive response no matter the circumstance.  Not a ridiculous everything is always awesome response but rather one that realizes what’s really important in life and to not let little things get in the way of our everyday joy.

We are able to respond to different circumstances.  He also talks about the ‘haves’ and the ‘be’s’; again talking about statements like, “If only I had such and such” or “I wish I could have that person’s life.”  It’s wiser to rather say, “I choose to be content with my life” or “I choose to be a persevering person.”

So far this book is hitting me in the gut and is a great reminder that I am able to respond to whatever life throws my way.  I am not a victim as I sometimes like to think but rather need to be proactive in how I respond to different circumstances.  This is especially true in my reactive nature to criticism.  If someone offers even constructive criticism my first reaction is usually to get defensive.  I need to take time to assess the criticism, consider the source and if they have my best interest in mind, and then see if it’s constructive and how it might help me moving forward.  That is how I plan on implementing a proactive attitude in my life; we’ll see if I’m successful in doing so  :)