Happiness is a Choice, Make it!

This is another quote from He Walks Among Us by Richard and Renee Stearns.  Rich shared that this was something Renee used to say to their kids growing up.

I can see my mom saying this when we were kids, except that she has since said we were very happy boys growing up so she really had no reason to say it thankfully. It does sound like something a mom would say though, right?  The problem is that I grew up and have since gone through several episodes of depression.  I was diagnosed as bipolar at age 16 and that’s unfortunately one of the primary symptoms if you will of that mental illness.

When I read this quote in the book, it came off as rather simplistic.  To be sure, happiness is a choice in many circumstances but not if your brain chemistry is off.  Even during those times I try and be fairly cheerful and make others laugh but it is just painful on the inside.

The key is to choose happiness before the depression gets worse.  If you can catch depression early enough in the process it becomes much easier to manage even if it does worsen.  There are several books out there that have helped me through the years self-assess what I’m going through and to help prevent future episodes of depression.  The two main ones I recommend are The Feeling Good Handbook and The Depression Cure.  I can’t recommend those books enough.

What I learned from The Feeling Good Handbook primarily was that just because you feel or think something doesn’t mean it is actually real or even based in reality for that matter.  The classic example is when you call yourself a failure.  You’re not a failure; sure, you may have failed at your most recent endeavor, but that doesn’t make you a failure as a person.  If you failed at being a person by definition you would no longer be alive.

There are so many things we can complain about day to day, aren’t there?  What if we chose happiness instead?  It isn’t easy to be sure and sometimes it’s entirely out of the question like when in an episode of depression or in the event of a tragic loss of a loved one.  Many times though, it is a choice and nothing more.  We can focus on what we have or what we don’t have and that makes all the difference in the world.

This world needs more optimists.  We get older and see systemic problems and like we will never make a difference in the world.  Every so often you meet that extraordinary person who chooses to be happy even though they’ve been through more than anyone you know.  You get an energy when you’re around that person, they have a contagious optimism about them.

Be that person who chooses happiness in the daily grind.  Your coworkers and family members will thank you for it and you will be better off as well.