Disputing Your Own Thinking

Again, this is an idea from The Happiness Advantage, a book I recently finished by Shawn Achor.  As a side note, a book has to really capture my attention for me to actually finish it.  I’ve lost track of all the books I’ve read only halfway through.  Maybe that says more about my attention span than how good the book is but that’s another blog post for another day.

I’ve read about this process before in other self-help type of books, in particular ones that talk about depression.  Basically, it’s the idea of putting your thoughts on trial.  Some refer to it as part of cognitive behavior therapy.  Others refer to it as part of part of the ABCD model of interpretation: Adversity, Belief, Consequence, and Disputation.  However you refer to it, it means the same thing, allow me to explain.

When you’re stuck in negative thinking, you have a tendency to believe that what you feel is what is actually real.  What you feel is not necessarily real, nor is your original belief that made you feel that way.  When you’re struggling with negative thinking, it’s vital to put them on trial.  Try to think objectively by asking questions such as, “If a friend was struggling with this problem, would I indulge them by allowing them to think the same way I am or would I argue with them about their negative thinking?”  

It’s not to say everything can be seen in a positive light, of course not.  It’s simply giving weight where it’s necessary and removing it where it’s unnecessary.  It often has to do with all or nothing type of thinking.  Or thoughts like you’re a failure when you fail at something.  You may fail at something but that doesn’t cause you to be a failure.  It means you actually tried something new which is more than a lot of people can say for themselves.  That’s one that I’ve often struggled with thinking in the past, that I was a failure.  During those times I have to remind myself I’ve been a contributing member of society by being a teacher and offering encouragement and laughter to those around me.  That’s how you dispute your own thinking.