This idea came from the book I just finished titled The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. It’s a wonderful easy read that I’d recommend to just about anyone. He has done loads of research and read and references tons of research throughout the books so it’s not just a lot of fluff like you might suspect from the title.
In his chapter titled ‘Principle #4: Falling Up’, he talks about how researchers have found some of the very worst things that can happen to us like a heart attack or military combat can spur profound positive growth in many individuals. It goes right along with the maxim “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” “The people who can most successfully get themselves up off the mat are those who define themselves not by what has happened to them, but by what they can make out of what has happened.” (p111, The Happiness Advantage.)
We’ve all heard this type of thing before, just dressed up a little differently. ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.’ Nowhere did anyone say life was going to be easy, but what determines our happiness is only 10% based on circumstances. This means that two people can go through the same set of circumstances and have vastly different results that come about.
What matters is their mindset. Do they see this extremely difficult situation as an opportunity for growth. Or do they become defeated at how hard it all is and want to throw in the towel. I can tell you for myself I definitely lean strongly toward the latter. When times are tough I often get very discouraged by my circumstances instead of taking control of how I react to those situations and face them head on. That part of the book was a great reminder that even the worst of times can lead to growth and more personal fulfillment if we choose to make it so.
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