What's Your Counterfact?

This blog is inspired again by The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor.  In one of the chapters he talks about how people can count themselves lucky or unlucky in regards to the exact same situation.  The example he gives is of a person who was in a bank and suddenly a robber comes in.  He shoots his gun only once and it hits you in the arm.  Was the situation lucky or unlucky?  It depends on your counterfact.  If you say that it was unlucky because you got shot in the arm, you’re not taking the whole situation into account.  The robber could’ve shot a lot more people, you could’ve been killed yourself, kids could’ve been hurt, etc.

It’s almost the same as saying, “It could always be worse.”  Only in this case it’s got a more positive feel to it.  If you just focus on the problem at hand instead of being grateful for what you already have, you are much more likely to get into a downward spiral than an upward one.  I find this happens to me quite frequently.  I have a tendency to be rather like Eeyore way more than I would like.

Then I’m reminded by a coworker of the same wisdom my grandma would give me; count your blessings.  It’s not enough to say, “There’s a lot of people in way worse situations.”  That provides little if any comfort to the person who is down.  Rather encouraging someone to think about what they do have can do a world of good.  Again, it’s all a matter of focus.  There’s no need to discount how difficult things may be, just don’t get stuck there as it is so easy to do sometimes.