How to help those with mental illnesses

As with any long-term illness, many well-meaning people have no idea how to help.  To this end, I’m going to share some ideas on how you can help someone who is either directly dealing with bipolar disorder or is caring for someone who is diagnosed as having bipolar disorder.  These aren’t foolproof mind you, nor are they always helpful.  With that in mind, let’s get started.

First off, realize that bipolar and depression aren't always spiritual symptoms.  Sometimes they are of course, but sometimes they aren't.  Sometimes it’s simply a chemical imbalance in the brain.  When people tell me I just need to have more faith to be healed or that if I took the Holy Communion in this or that fashion I wouldn’t be sick anymore, I just sigh and pray for them usually, at least when I’m at my best. 

Typically, I use the example of diabetes to argue my point.  Take diabetes as an example of something similar.  Can Jesus heal diabetes?  Of course he can, but that doesn’t mean He will.  Perhaps He will work through it to display His glory to someone else.  Maybe He will use it as a connector for someone who needs to come to know His Son.  Furthermore, sometimes diabetes is caused by diet, sometimes it’s caused by genetics.  It’s the same with bipolar disorder; sometimes it’s caused by spiritual disobedience (depression in particular I’m talking about right now) but more often than not it’s simply caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.

To that end, don’t hesitate for a moment to pray for healing.  Please pray for healing for anyone you know who is suffering from a mental illness.  I would simply ask to couple that prayer with a prayer for the ability to endure the suffering and cope well if God chooses not to remove the thorn from the flesh.  Ask them how you can pray for them specifically.  Don’t be shy about asking them how they’re doing.  Believe me, they will be more than relieved to find someone they can talk to about it.

Secondly, realize that you may be ill-equipped to deal with the mental illness and may need to refer them to a counselor or psychiatrist.  This is a difficult conversation to have to be sure, but one that may be necessary.  You probably aren’t equipped as a regular person to deal with all the symptoms that come with a mental illness.  If you have a good relationship with someone though, please don’t hesitate to have this conversation.

Thirdly, don’t discount their feelings as unequal and invalid due to their having a mood disorder.  Sometimes their feelings are unreasonable if they’re currently in a state of depression in particular, but sometimes their feelings are very valid and shouldn’t be dismissed quite so quickly.  This can be especially difficult if you’ve dealt with someone for a period of years or even decades and seen them go in and out of moods.  It is your responsibility as their friend or loved one to try your best to understand where they’re coming from or at least lend a listening ear.

Finally, there are more ways to help but I’m getting tired so I’m going to wrap up here, is to point them and encourage them to not find their identity in the disorder or illness they’re currently experiencing.  I can attest that this has been one of the most difficult aspects of having bipolar disorder.  I was diagnosed when I was 17 and the majority of bipolar patients are diagnosed in their late teens and early twenties.  Guess what else happens during that time?  You are shaping who you are, who you are going to be; in short, you are finding your identity.  It is all too common and easy to over identify with a mental illness if you were diagnosed as a late teen or early twenty-something.  Please, please, please point us toward a truer version of ourselves.  If you and your friend or loved one are Christians, point them to find their identity in Christ.  Picture me on my knees begging you here, because that is essentially how strongly I feel about this subject.  It is an often neglected ministry of the Holy Spirit due to either ignorance or disobedience on the part of the Church.  That goes for everyone, by the way; everyone needs to be pointed towards finding their true identity in Christ Jesus as a believer.